To Seduce a Skeleton
by NerdySkeleton
Summary: Valkyrie Cain is no average Casanova, so she has to wonder what she can do to get the great Skulduggery Pleasant. Between her diary ramblings and battles between crazed spiritual fanatics, she wonders if she'll ever get the guy. Rated T for violence.
1. Entry 1

So…No one ask how the title came to my head. It just clicked with my brain. I have a great ending for this all ready and planned out, but I'll just work with the beginning for now :3

If anyone reads Maximum Ride (which I would _highly _recommend) and you've been to the portion of this site devoted to it, you may have come across a story called **Diary of a Lovesick Mutant **(which, by the way is insanely hilarious). I know that this is going to be a lot like it, but I wanted to give this a try. I also searched "diary" for this site here, and, like, 10000 results came up. I ain't the only diary person here!

So, without further ado, here is the debut chapter of **To Seduce a Skeleton**!

:D

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**Entry #1: Written May 26 **

Dear…Diary,

Ugh. Why would anyone get me a diary? I've always hated writing. Even when we were able to write about whatever the hell we wanted to in Language Arts (I wrote a story about an egotistical skeleton being kidnapped, then a brave young girl coming to his rescue once) I still hated writing.

It cramps your hand and then you get ink all over your fingers, then on your face, and it's just some giant mess.

I _hate _diaries. They're obnoxious. They're meant for thirteen year old girls who have nothing better to do than cry their heart out because Jimmy asked out Debbie instead of them! I, just **FYI**, am not a thirteen year old girl. I am twenty-five year old Valkyrie Cain, who will NOT be reduced to writing in a diary about my feelings and life!

Oh, God. This is going to turn into a thirteen year old girl's diary!

Although, as Tanith graciously pointed out, this may come in handy. I do admit, there are some things I'd rather get out on paper than just keep them bottled up in my chest until I just _explode_. Not literally. Not like Baron-Vengeous-glare-raining-skin explode.

That's _disgusting_.

Anyway, the reason I have received this diary is for a few reasons.

A) I am a woman. Apparently that causes need for a diary.

B) I am violent. Well I blame it on everyone else. They taught me to beat people up.

C) I have a slight dilemma revolving _love _and _skeletons. _

I have openly admitted this to two people. I told Tanith when it was just the two of us hanging out, and Kenspeckle tricked it out of me once. I was in pain and he wouldn't give me any meds.

Crafty bastard.

I'm sure this will be a shocker to you Diary (you are an inanimate object, therefore, I must ask myself why I am addressing you like this…) but I, Valkyrie Cain, am rather hopelessly in love with Skulduggery Pleasant.

I know. Just, like, wow! _Who knew_? You're just tickled pink, ain't you? The only serious problem I have with this is the whole getting him to love me back thing.

I hate how I feel so trapped and confused all the time. Now, I have known Skulduggery for a little over half of my life. We've had our ups and downs. I like to think there's more ups, but with the Solomon Wreath taking and teaching me necromancy put us at a rocky point for a while. I think we've been able to patch things up after a while, especially after I saved his bony butt from being torn apart by vampires. He still finds it odd I float about with my shadows, while he just plays with the air.

We're still the same ass-whooping partners in crime as we were before, but it still seems a little different. Skulduggery…just seems so distant. I don't believe anyone has told him my, ahem, little secret. If they did, may God rest their soul. If anyone said a word about my undying love for the man I've known since I was twelve, they would be burned at the stake.

I think about my creepy love and realize the consequences that could come if a relationship started between the two of us. What if we broke up, and it was awkward for the rest of our lives (which will probably span for far longer than imaginable)? What if he found out, and didn't love me back? What if one of us dies, and we don't get to reveal our true feelings for each other?

Okay, that last one is really only bad for me, but who knows what goes on in Skulduggery Pleasant's head? I sure as hell don't. I've been with the man for thirteen years and I still can't read him. Damn that skeletal face of his!

In other news, we're all incredibly bored. There have been no new cases for us to tackle and solve with out sharp wit. The last case was about some evil guy who was out for, like, werewolves or something. I barely paid attention. We caught the guy, and that's that. But…mentioning this, I remember seeing on the news about mysterious flying things in the sky. People didn't think they were birds, since they looked too big. Unless they were huge mutant albatrosses, they weren't birds.

Anways, blah, blah, blah. My life sucks, emo, emo, emo. I'm not exactly sure what to do with my predicament. Shall I just come straight out and say it. I can seriously picture it now:

"Skulduggery," I say softly, angelically, "I have something to say." 

"Yes, Valkyrie?" he says in return. 

"I think I love you," I whispered into his…ear.

There's a pause. 

"Ah," he mutters in his well-I-figured-something-out-but-you-pointed-something-else-out-making-my-explanation-totally-useless voice. "Well." Another pause. "I guess that's always a good thing to know, then."

I believe you get the idea, Diary.

See, the problem is that he is hard to read. It worked when I was just little baby Valkyrie Cain, and I had to be "shielded" from the world of magic, apparently, but now I'm older I can understand the terrible danger we're in half the time. Skulduggery doesn't seem to get that I'm _old _now. It wouldn't crush him to just tell me what he's thinking, would it? And none of that "lots of clever little things" crap. I hate when he does that.

Which makes me think, are there just a few things that I truly love about him, and a lot of things I really hate? But the things I love are so big and prominent that I can't see past them to see the bad things? Does this make sense? Seriously, are we secretly incredibly different, and not some match made in heaven/hell?

This also makes me think. A skeleton? A four-hundred year old skeleton? A four-hundred year old skeleton and a twenty-five year old girl/woman? Together? Would it be awkward between us? The more I think about this, the more I'm horrified about the thought of us together.

…But I still can't help it. I really love the guy.

~Valkyrie

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You like? You hate? You neutral? I've gotten a lot of plot figured out for this now, so now I'm getting excited :D I apologize for mistakes and thanks for reading!


	2. Entry 2

I believe that this story will much easier to write than the other one.

And, for those of you in the U.S. you probably heard about the two major snowstorms that friggin attacked the East Coast. Yeah! That's me getting buried in snow! We seriously just got a six day weekend due to the snow! It's crazy!  


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**Entry #2: Written May 31**

Dear Diary,

See at how bad I am at keeping up with this? I normally never write in diaries. There were a few times where I'd be really faithful about it all, then go a week without writing, then never touch it ever again. I was told for an assignment, once, to keep a _dream log_. I wrote down my actual dreams maybe twice, and then made the other 28 up. I remember writing about one with giant scissors chasing me. That was after Tanith threw Ghastly's scissors at Fletcher because he wouldn't shut up.

Speaking of the devil, Mr. Renn showed up on the 27th. Literally, he just popped up. I keep saying what would happen if he just appeared, and I was naked or something. He always rebuts with why I would be naked in the kitchen in the first place and so on. I hate that crafty little jerk. He said he might be staying with us for a while, but he'll "alert" us about his "busy schedule".

I don't believe that little slacker is busy at all. See, the last time he appeared (last, _last_ April) he said he'd be staying for at least three months. The very next morning, there's a note, saying he's gone to Russia. God knows why _Russia_. I have nothing against Russians, I just wondered why the heck Russia. Probably to go party…and drink vodka or something. I don't know what he does with his time. _Not_ work, perhaps?

I mean I love Fletcher a lot. He's like the whiny older brother I never had. Everyone picks on him, and makes fun of him and it's hilarious.

Anyway, the whole reason I solely exist now, it seems, is to get together with Skulduggery Pleasant. I swear that's the only thing that's been on my mind lately. See, a few days ago, he and I were at China's. China being China was following us everywhere, giving me no alone time which just pissed me off.

Anyway, China whispered something into Skulduggery's…ear, I guess, and he instantly straightened. Like that pose he does when he figured something out, or when he realized what the song "3" by Britney Spears was about (that was a terrible day that I don't ever want to remember. Skulduggery actually asked what exactly a…okay, nevermind). But China winked at him, then sauntered off, shaking her hips a little bit more. Her short skirt almost blew up a little too much when she walked past the air vent.

I glanced over at Skulduggery, and I could tell his mind was working hard. His right hand had gripped the brim of his hat, while the left hand was poised on his waist.

Don't look at me like that, Diary. I've known him for a while. I can know what he's doing just by his body movements. He does that to me! For example, yesterday, I had stubbed my toe. Being the strong and heroic…heroine I am, didn't say much. But I guess I had my jaw set too tight and my knees weren't bending as much…And I wasn't breathing normally…?

So, Diary, I believe this means that Skulduggery Pleasant was "checking me out," as the kids call it (right?) Who says someone's not breathing right unless they're staring _straight _at the chest?

I apparently breathe weird and walk funny and ruin my teeth more when I'm in pain. Well, that's always good to know.

Anyway, continuing with this whole China/Skulduggery/Me love triangle thing, I asked what was wrong.

"A penny for your thoughts," I said.

He shook his head slightly and bent over the book he had picked off the shelf. "It's nothing," he muttered. "Nothing important."

"I may think it's important."

"You won't find it important, trust me."

"At least tell me what it's about. No details; just vague ideas." I smiled as he played with the brim of his hat again.

His eye sockets looked up at me and he sighed. "Gargoyles."

…Um.

"What about gargoyles?" I asked, more intrigued than ever before.

"You said you wanted vague details, and gargoyles is quite vague, so there you are, Valkyrie dear."

I frowned and huffed. "You take things so literally," I grumbled and stole the book he was reading from his hands.

"Valkyrie Cain, I have reason to believe that you are four years old."

"Nah," I grinned, "that's just Tanith. I'm around seven."

He laughed quietly and leaned in closer. I backed away slowly, but he reached out and pulled my shoulder back. "Would you stop moving?" he asked with a slight tone of amusement in his voice. "I need to read this." I watched his mouth move beneath the wide brim of his hat as he read the words. His eyes were trained on the book (that was upside-down actually. I can't read upside down to save my life).

"What exactly are you reading about?"

"Gargoyles," he answered shortly.

"Is it celebratory Gargoyle Day or something?"

He chuckled quietly and leaned in closer. "No, but there have been some reports about stone gargoyles flying about Notre Dame Tower over in France," he said.

I nodded. "I heard about that. Of course, that was mortal news, and they just thought they were big butt birds. Think Frollo and Esmeralda are up there partying with Phoebus and Quasimodo?"

Skulduggery sighed and started at me. "Do I think the Disney cartoon characters have come to life from the paper they were drawn on and are now 'partying' on the roof of Notre Dame Tower? My answer would be no."

"You never know, Pleasant," I smirked and shut the book and tossed it to him. "Anyway, has this happened before? Is that why there's a whole section of this book devoted to them?"

He nodded and opened the book again, glaring at me. "Every few decades at random points in the year, they break free from being _stone_ and swoop around for a bit. A few weeks after the first incident, ten people are missing from the world. It may be just a coincidence that these ten people have disappeared, but they have never been found. Thoughts?"

"When was the last appearance?" I asked as we started walking towards the front of the library again.

"If my marvelous memory serves right," he said, "it was 56 years ago, in June sometime. I don't suppose it follows a pattern by month and or year."

"When was the previous one before that?"

"That…I believe was 23 years before. So, in 79 years, there have been two attacks. The before-before one was in February at some point."

"Is there some outside force acting upon them?" I wondered aloud as we left the library and strode down the stairs.

"It's a possibility, but no one has ever even gotten a suspect," Skulduggery replied. He stopped abruptly at the Bentley parked at the curb. He motioned for me to climb in, since I was just standing there like an idiot, thinking about these gargoyle things. He flicked my arm and sighed. "This magic has ruined your brain cells," he muttered.

"No at all!" I shouted. "Getting punched in the face a few too many times should be the problem."

He laughed loudly and looked across at me. I thought I saw a few little traces of a sad smile type thing on his face, but they were gone instantly.

So, this brings me to today. It's now…3:48 in the afternoon, and I'm bored. Tanith left to London a few days ago, which was extremely depressing. I don't know who I'm going to have my idiotic girl talk with! Fletcher is on the arm chair across from me (of course, we're in Gordon's house. It's rightfully mine…but not mine…yep) and he's half-asleep. I think the slight teleport lag gets to him occasionally. Skulduggery's off with Ghastly doing man things or something. I suggested they go build something or have a beer, but the last time Skulduggery had a hammer in his hands he knocked someone unconscious.

And…the beer was just a bad idea all around. When we last went drinking…Nevermind. It's a terrible memory I try to repress from my mind every single day.

Anyway, to quench my boredom I had turned on the TV earlier. The newscasters talked about pointless things like sports and the weather and junk no one cared about. Oh, traffic as well. But, finally, after a billion years of pointless chatter, they got to the French gargoyle things.

The pretty news lady was all serious and kept repeating that "authorities weren't sure what this phenomena was." They were interviewing this French guy who clearly had no understanding of the English language and kept fudging his words, but he said that there have been reports of other "giant birds" flying around other parts of France, primarily near churches. Are all gargoyle statues near churches now?

Fletcher had come in at this point, rambling about an old Russian girlfriend he had once. Her name…something Russian, I remember. He wouldn't be quiet and I suppose he gave up when I just stopped responding. I nodded at first a couple of times during the conversation he was literally having with himself, but then I just got bored.

Pretending is hard, no?

Anyway, as the story wrapped to a close, I noticed the gargoyles were flying in a strange pattern. Nobody had seemed to point it out. But the gargoyles had been going around in a sort of pentagon shape. Who knew giant stone gargoyles that magically come to life knew geometric shapes? This mystery just keeps getting more and more…mysterious…

~Valkyrie

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I couldn't think of an ending D: But anyway, hope you sort of enjoyed this! Next chapter/entry should pick up on the plot a bit more! :D

Sorry for mistakes :)


	3. Entry 3

You guys are hilarious. I love you all :3

And just as a heads up, I'm keeping Bliss. He's like a giant teddy bear I'd be too afraid to cuddle because he'd just beat me up.

:D

And has anyone here read **Artemis Fowl**? It's, like, the greatest thing ever (kay not really, but it's pretty ausgezeichnet!).

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**Entry #3: Written June 3rd**

Dear Diary,

Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

Ouch, now my hand hurts.

But you must be wondering why I must start out this diary entry with 16 craps in a row, yes? Well, it's for a few reasons:

FIRST REASON: I was watching the news again, to see if anything had been updated about the gargoyle thing. I turned on the TV and found that literally every single gargoyle on every building ever built in France came to life. They all started swooping around and being all fancy with their coordinated flying patterns, but all the French people down below were screaming and running like a headless chicken (that is so gross by the way. It's your _head_, chicken. Die already!). The news camera zoomed in on a few gargoyles that had been flying over Notre Dame tower, being all cool in the pentagon shape. One of the them paused in mid-air, and then suddenly fell. It just collapsed.

The beast fell down onto the streets of France, and people in police uniforms ran up and quickly carted away the thing. French people were trying to get a peak, but the police kept forcing them away.

So, Diary, this means that magical evidence is in the hands of mortal police. And do you even remotely know how bad that is? Of course you don't, you're a freaking book.

SECOND REASON: My parents called and wanted to see me. Now, don't get me wrong, Diary, I love my parents. They're great people. They fed me, clothed me, and supported me when I explained to them the whole a-skeleton-is-my-friend-here's-my-crazy-walk-on-walls-friend-here's-my-scarred-yet-amazing-friend-here's-my-idiotic-teleporter-friend-and-here's-my-cranky-doctor-type-friend thing.

Yeah, my parents know of the magical world. We had to explain it once when I was kidnapped for, like, a week a few years back and they hadn't heard from me in a long time. And plus, Gordon was floating about in all his Echo Stone glory once, and it just ended in disaster. They were a little iffy about it at first, but I guess they're pretty much used to the skeleton that roams my inherited house.

But anyway, they called and invited _Skulduggery_ and I! They wanted us…both there…Not sure why, but never question parents instinct. Mom just said she wanted to get to know the crazy man who followed me around and wanted to see if he actually was as obnoxious as I described him to be (and it's true). They didn't set a date or anything, but Mom said she'd love to see us in late June.

Funny story: They came to visit me at Gordon's after they had been informed about everything, and Fletcher went to answer the door, since everyone else was doing something. He let me parents in, asking if they'd want everyone to get out, and they replied no, and that they've never really met my friends. Fletcher nodded once, and led them into the living room.

Tanith was on the ceiling, pouting, and Ghastly was standing the couch trying to coax her down, saying that he'd make her some nachos. Skulduggery was sitting next to Ghastly's feet, grumbling about "immature adults," minus his disguise. I was sitting on the floor by Skulduggery's feet, being cool and awesome with my shadows.

Fletcher cleared his throat and announced that my parents were here. And everything went silent. That is, until Tanith literally fell off the ceiling, crashing into Ghastly, who then crashed down next to me, and then I ran away. Skulduggery stood up gracefully, greeting my parents.

Okay, not that funny, but we all laughed about it. Except Kenspeckle, since he was pissed that Ghastly had hurt his head from clipping it on the coffee table.

Yeeeeah.

THIRD REASON: The French Sanctuary sucks. They _suck_…things that are worthy of being sucked (no, Diary, not _that_. Get our mind out of the gutter). I've heard stories about the crap jobs they do sometimes, and it doesn't sound pretty. Mr. Bliss explained to me the power of the Major Quattuor, once. "Quattuor" is 4 in Latin. (Skulduggery told me that the grand mages had to find a dead language to say the number 4 in so nobody got offended.) Apparently there are other "bands" of Sanctuaries in the other parts of the world, but we're the Western Europe one. There's a Northern Europe one, Southern Europe one, etc.

Anyway, the Major Quattuor consists of Italy, Spain, England, and Ireland. Notice how France is taken out of there. They deserve it…apparently. I always enjoyed France when we'd go there for little vacations, but maybe sights and romantic crap is all their good for.

…And I'm out of reasons.

But yes, the French Sanctuary sent _our_ Sanctuary a letter of "official assistance" or some crap like that. Basically, they want us there to help them. Skulduggery told me that they probably didn't send it to anyone else, since we're, like, the nicest Sanctuary (minus Guild and Crux). And plus, as once said, Ireland was the place where magic was born. Our ancestors had a jolly time rocking out here, so we're always like the big Mob boss that everyone fears, except we don't wear loafers and yell in Italian. Though I do admit I've always wanted to do that…

The French Grand Mage sent us this letter, saying that he'd appreciate our help, blah, blah, blah. He just requested a few people head over to help them with the coming-to-life gargoyles problem. I figured I won't be able to go, since Guild would rather have me taken out and shot and killed then send me on a mission to France. Technically, Skulduggery and I aren't total detectives yet. Mr. Bliss _somehow_ convinced Guild to let us back in without trying to kill us, and we're slowly getting back into the swing of kicking cases butts.

But now we're just getting minor ones. Like that werewolf one. And…there was something about a beetle a while back. Again, I barely paid attention. I do remember it being really gross, since there was this giant beetle man with a giant swarm of beetles and crickets and flies and BUGS at his side. But he kept directing them to fly around in Skulduggery's skull. That was hours of amusement; just watching him flail around, trying to get the bugs out.

ANYWAY.

Back to France.

Guild will probably send Crux along, since they've got such a bromance. I can barely hold my lunch in when it's those two. The sexual tension between them is unbearable.

Why do I keep getting distracted?

I expect for Guild to send Bliss, and the other Elder: Demetrius Lithium to go as well. Lithium is…quite a strange guy. He's not mean, but he's still a little spacey. I guess I can't be the one to speak, since I'm about the same at times. I've never had the opportunity to speak with him, and he was just recently appointed as an Elder. Plus, I'm like half-fugitive. I can't go wandering around and neither Skulduggery nor I can make an appointment or whatever with the Elders.

Probably a couple of the other suck-up/kiss-up detectives will go, but I can't think of many other people. I saw Skulduggery talking to Bliss a few days ago, and they seemed to be a rather heated argument, like that time Fletcher and I debated who's better: Indiana Jones or Han Solo. I said good ol' Indy, but Fletcher said Han. Sure, Han was really awesome, but he sorta just whined and tried to get into Leia's pants all the time. Indy would punch the lights out of Darth Vader and be done with the whole "Star Wars" thing.

Erg. Stupid, easily distracted brain!

Back to Bliss and Skulduggery.

The two kept gesturing about their man things, before Bliss pulled out a piece of paper, and handing it to Skulduggery. He read it a few times, I assume, then gave it back. They both seemed to calm down. Bliss nodded to him, then made a show of making eye contact with me. He gave a solemn nod and a blink, then quick left. Skulduggery quickly joined me and swung an arm around my shoulders.

"Trying to put the moves on me, then, Pleasant?" I asked jokingly. I so wanted to just scream for him to continue it.

"Well excuse me, Cain," he replied and removed his arm. NO. CRUEL WORLD.

"So what were you and Bliss arguing about?" I asked as he led me to the far southern corner of the Sanctuary.

"Nothing of your interest," he said.

"Last time you said that I ended up being interested. So, what was it about?"

"It was about the French Sanctuary. They seemed to cause an uproar with their request, it seems. French fools."

I laughed. "Oh those crazy French people. Almost as crazy as us Irish, hmm? And don't get me started on Canadians!"

He laughed back and slowly placed his arm around me again. "Yes, with our leprechauns and stereotypes. Joyous. It's aboot time we got stereotypes straightened out, eh?"

I smiled and leaned in closer to him. I heard him sigh quietly, and let it not bother me. It sounded like one of those contended sighs. Like after wearing high heals for eight hours straight, then _finally _getting to take them off. It's a liberating feeling. I love it.

"You alright?" I asked gently.

He nodded once. "I'm just thinking," he said. "Don't worry."

"I never worry. I _especially _don't worry about you, Pleasant."

"It's impolite to lie, Cain."

"Who said it was a lie?"

"I did, and I'm always right."

"Excuse me," I replied, a smirk on my face, "but I'm the woman in this relationship, and women are always right."

He snorted gracefully (how is that possible?) and punched my shoulder with the arm that was joyously draped over me. "It seems your suffering from denial," he said casually.

"Are you saying that I am not a woman? That, in fact, _you_ are the woman?" I grinned as he paused and tapped his fingers up against my shoulder.

"No, for I was merely saying that women are not always right."

"Yes, and men have the answers."

"Indeed we do."

"And men are sexists."

"Yes we are."

I laughed and kicked his shin lightly. He responded by punching me in the arm. I ducked away and out from his arm around me, and then proceeded to topple over _and _land on top of Demetrius Lithium.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery shouted, which didn't really do much. I heard Lithium grunt and heard the sound of his breath _whooshing _out of his lungs. I instantly rolled off of him, and felt Skulduggery yank me up by my upper arm. I held out my hand for Lithium to take. He looked up wide-eyed at me, then chuckled once, and allowed me to help him up.

"Watch where you're going, Miss Cain," he said gruffly. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. The way his eyes shone didn't really do much for me.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "This man who follows me around knocked me into you."

"I did not!" Skulduggery shouted. "You were the spaz who ducked away and fell all over him. It was most certainly not my fault."

Lithium put up his hands on both of our shoulders as a peace sign. "No one was injured, and it was just a mistake of footing."

Well, I guess he's alright with it.

"**Valkyrie Cain**!" came a voice filled with _such _annoyance and hate for me and everything I stood for. Yeah, Guild was headed our way. The crowd parted to let him through. "**What is the meaning of this**?" he shouted pretty much as loud as he could.

"Don't get your panties in a twist," I muttered.

"**WHAT**?" Guild stepped closer to me and had me almost pinned up against the wall. "**I will not tolerate this kind of behavior from you**! **What in God's name happened**?"

"Relax," Lithium said. "Miss Cain merely misplaced her body and collided with mine. She wasn't trying to take off any heads. Now," Lithium said, obviously ready to change the subject, "the issue at hand. I assume Elder Bliss explained to you?"

Skulduggery instantly straightened. (This time it was like when Fletcher told him what a "That's What She Said" joke _really_ means.) "He only gave small details. Not the whole picture."

"I have no idea what we're talking about," I added. Guild glared at me, yet I was unfazed. I glared right back, and so much, that he slunk back. Ha, I love being awesome.

"Well then, join us, please," Lithium smirked. It was slightly evil, and slightly unnerving. I decided then and there that I wouldn't want to meet this man in a dark alley at night.

Guild led the way, Skulduggery behind him, me behind Skulduggery, and Lithium in the rear. The people bustling about in the Sanctuary moved to allow us passage, and we ducked out and away into their Elder's little chamber thing. I don't know what you want to call it, but it was like their private little room. Mr. Bliss was sitting at a chair, studying a few papers. A giant map was spread out on the table at the far corner of the room. I noticed the podium that the Book of Names once stood on sitting in a small case. The case seemed to be made out of this weird gel stuff.

"Have you informed them?" Mr. Bliss asked, not looking up from his papers.

Guild shook his head and took a seat in the middle. "There was an _incident _that prevented it." He said it like someone was giving birth in there. I mean, for God's sake! I _fell_ on an Elder. No one died. Nothing exploded. No ancient tribal men in loin clothes sprang from the ceiling carrying spears and giant rocks. Celine Dion hadn't magically appeared and started singing that insanely obnoxious theme song from **Titanic**.

Alright, done now.

Lithium took the seat on the opposite of Guild. The way the lights shone on their faces was really creepy. He gestured to the two chairs at the other side of the table for us to sit in.

"I prefer standing," I said softly.

Guild rolled his eyes and muttered something in a different language. "Fine, be complicated." He looked over at Mr. Bliss, who was still studying the papers.

Bliss suddenly slammed the paper down on the table with his fist, sending an echo in the small room. "There are complications with the France situation," he said slowly. "As this letter states, the French Sanctuary is requesting our help. They have no specifications as to who they want sent, but we have reasons for sending such people."

Guild was scowling. "A vote was taken on who to send, and lo and behold, I was out-voted. Elder Lithium and Elder Bliss voted on you two to accompany them to the France."

There was an awkward silence. I frowned and glanced at Skulduggery. Again, his hand was his waist, while the other was playing with his hat.

"This isn't a joke, right?" I asked, not really sure of what answer I wanted.

"No," Lithium laughed, "but I just hope that Elder Bliss and I made the right decisions in this choosing. I wouldn't want this to end in disaster, as it already has begun in disaster. The regular Paris Police has hold of one gargoyle body, and this could completely expose our world as we know it." He stood up dramatically. "I don't want to be let down."

Bliss stood up after him. "We will accompany you two, and the French have already said they'd pay for airfare and the likes."

"Where might we stay?" Skulduggery asked, speaking for the first time since we entered.

"That has been left to us, but they said they would pay for that as well," Bliss answered. "There are a variety of places available and open to us, and the Grand Mage even offered their own home."

"Valkyrie's parents received a villa from a death in the family," Skulduggery added. "It would fit our purposes. It's close to the Sanctuary itself, and it's spacious enough for multiple people to stay."

I could tell where he was going with this. The villa is huge and it has enough space for, oh say, _four_ incredibly awesome savers of the world. Oh, plus Skulduggery. (Don't tell him I said that, Diary. As I think about this, I'm not really sure _how_ you would tell anyone anything...) Naturally Gordon would come along. But my uncle is travel-sized and fits, like, everywhere.

"I agree," Lithium said, "having this villa would work. Elder Bliss and I will have other accommodations." He glanced at his colleague who nodded.

"_Others_ may come too, but two conditions," Bliss said, getting his point across. "That Fletcher Renn doesn't completely destroy each and every famous land mark in France, and that my sister would stay with you. Her villa was destroyed when a couple hundred vampires attacked it, looking for her."

I nodded slowly, I guess agreeing to let a rather psycho woman stay in my uncle's old villa.

I won't bore you with the rest of the meeting, Diary (and plus I might have to slice off my hand from the pain). We talked about the situation more and we received a "briefing" about everything that happened.

When we left, I quick called my parents asking if we could borrow the villa for a while. I said it was for "business" and they immediately understood. We don't explain much to them, since it could cause some problems. They said it was fine, as long as it didn't blow up, because they _love_ going there in the summer.

But now, I have to finish packing. I only stopped because I couldn't find my protective coat, but then I remembered Ghastly was kind enough to make me a new one, after the old one ripped from being too small. He said he had a vision for it, and couldn't wait to get started on it (I think we should force Ghastly to do something manly once and a while).

So, Diary, I will leave you with this piece of juicy information: **I hate flying. **We'll see how this trip to France goes.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Oh my goooosh this is too long (that's what she said). I couldn't find an ending point, and it was very obnoxious.

At first I hadn't thought of using the villa. But I was straightening my hair, getting ready for church, and had an _epiphany_!

But yeah. I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! I apologize for any mistakes! :D


	4. Entry 4

For a _good_ visual of what Valkyrie's awesome new jacket looks like, go to Google Images, and search "forever 21 soldieress jacket". The first four images are essentially what it looks like. I actually own the coat that her new one is based off of, and I searched and searched and could not find a picture of it! D: But just take away a set of buttons, center the other buttons, add some pockets, and _voila_!

* * *

**Written Midday, June 4th**

Dear Diary,

I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes. I hate planes.

~Valkyrie

**Written Late Afternoon, June 4th**

Dear Diary,

I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes. I still hate planes.

~Valkyrie

**Official Entry #4: Written Late Evening, June 4****th**

Dear Diary,

I still hate planes, but we're not flying anymore, and I've gotten over my slight flight sickness, SO, let us recap my day from when I woke up, until now, shall we?

**6:28 AM**

I already knew today would suck for a few reasons. One of them being I'd be flying today. The other being that I woke up before my alarm and I hate when that happens. I dragged myself out of bed and took a hot shower, which woke me up sufficiently. After that, I trudged downstairs, though I was still going pretty fast since I was ready to kill a puppy from lack of sleep and caffeine.

I barely registered Skulduggery sitting at the kitchen table. He opened his mouth to say something, but I flailed my hand around, signaling that if tried to hold a conversation with me, let alone an _intelligent _conversation, blood would be spilled. He instantly shut up, and waited for my coffee to be done.

**7:00 AM**

Okay. My coffee was done and it smelled really good and I was really tired and all I wanted to do was hug Skulduggery because he smelled really good. Yeah, I was going delirious. I blame it on the _actual _dream I had where scissors were _actually_ chasing me.

I grabbed my mug, filled it to the brim with coffee, sugar, and creamer. I like it sweet.

Skulduggery's first words to me were, "Why drink it if you can't taste the coffee part?"

I shrugged and took a sip and instantly relaxed. "Because." I paused. "And that is my answer."

He laughed quietly. "Well alright then. I won't press. Are you packed?" I nodded. "Good, and I have your new coat, so don't freak out when you can't find it again."

"Okay," I said defensively, "that's only happened, like, five times. Don't get your panties in a twist."

He laughed again, louder this time. "Is this your new phrase?"

"You bet!" I smiled. I watched as he pulled a package from the chair next to him and tossed it to me. I caught it (awesomely) in one hand and quick undid the packaging around it. I tossed the brown paper aside and stood up and admired the new coat.

It was shorter than before, since the others went down to my thighs, this went to my waist. I noticed a plain dark purple shirt that had fluttered to the ground, and figured they were both protective.

I laid the coat on the table and admired it. It was made from an incredibly dark black material and was soft, like cotton. There were four pockets, two at the bottom and two at the…breasts. Two buttons were on the sleeves at the bottom, making rolling up the sleeves slightly more complicated. There were six buttons on the front. The buttons (I'm using the word 'buttons' too much) were each decorated with a crest of sorts. There was a small lion standing on his hind legs, and he was placed in front of a shield looking thing. I noticed the shoulders were broad and had squared tops, with fabric coming away from the whole coat, and buttons securing it back down.

All in all, I looked as if I could be one kick-ass army general.

"Oh that Ghastly," I muttered. Skulduggery placed a hand on my shoulder, and he seemed to lean in a bit. But _right _at that moment, the front door opened and slammed. We scooted away and saw Tanith and Fletcher waltz in.

Way to go, you guys. You ruined the moment.

**7:34 AM**

We all talked for a while, and Tanith kept shooting me these glances. I think they were supposed to comfort me, but it didn't do much. She's one of the only people to know of my flight-phobia, besides my parents. (And don't ask, Diary, how this fear came to be. It's best to let it churn back in my mind and not let a soul know.)

Fletcher thought I looked incredibly…something in Russian. He said that he picked up the language _just_ like that.

I doubt it, Renn.

But I tried on the jacket and instantly declared it was single-handedly the coolest thing I had ever put on my body. EVER.

**8:00 AM**

I looked up at the clock. It was four hours till our flight left. Cue terrible-sick-to-my-stomach feeling.

**8:30 AM**

Ghastly popped up, and as he was stepping into the house, China Sorrows showed up. Since I had agreed to let this mad woman stay in my partial house, she suggested we all meet and head to the airport together.

Oh what a joy that turned out to be.

**9:00 AM**

I sat next to Skulduggery in the Bentley. Tanith and Ghastly had opted out of the Awkward and Creepy Fest and took Ghastly's van. China and Fletcher were in the back, sitting as far away as possible from each other. Fletcher hadn't met China a few years after we met him. He saw her…and instantly fell to his knees and tried kissing her hand it was disgusting. Of course, China was used to men falling over her feet like that, but apparently Fletcher had taken the cake. She hadn't seen anyone overreact that like in a while. I remember her shooting Skulduggery a look, while a smirk played at her cherry lips.

It was _creepy_, to say the least.

**9:10 AM**

"Are we there yet?" Fletcher groaned.

"Does it look like it, Fletcher?" Skulduggery replied. For God's sake, I was ready to strangle the punk. That was the sixth time he had asked that!

**9:13 AM**

"Are we-"

"OH MY GOD," I shouted. "FLETCHER."

"I was just asking if we were there-"

"We're obviously _not_," I growled.

And thus, Fletcher didn't make a peep the rest of the trip.

HA.

**11:20 AM**

"Finally!" Fletcher shouted as we pulled into the airport. I watched a plane take off and felt all my coffee churn in my stomach. Oh, God, this was terrible.

**11:30 AM**

I will not bore you with the check in and the security, but I will bore you with the almost near-exposing of the entire magical community, since the security guards kept wanting Skulduggery to take off his disguise. China finally stepped in, though.

"Please, good sir," she said calmly, turning on her pretty charms to maximum. "I'm this man's doctor, and I can vouch for him. He's suffering from Digitus Manus Disease, and it's very serious."

"What does it do?" the guard asked warily.

"It…" China paused a moment. "It peels the skin off over time. The skin becomes papery, and it can easily fall off."

"Like leprosy?"

China smiled. "No, nothing like that. But this cover-up is needed for his skin. It protects it from outside forces. I do hope you understand."

The guard nodded slowly, then scanned the rest of us. We passed through with no more alarms, thank God. As we walked away, Skulduggery leaned in to China.

"I have Finger Hand Disease?" he asked quietly.

She shrugged. "It was the first thing that came to mind."

**11:40 AM**

Skulduggery and I were sitting side by side in the terminal where our flight would take off. China was off to the side, reading a giant book, while Fletcher was staring at the floor. Tanith and Ghastly were sitting next to each other, each leaning against each other. (Spontaneous romance, much?)

I felt a hand reach for my own.

"Relax," Skulduggery muttered. I looked down at his gloved hand and noticed that it was shaking from _my_ hand shaking.

I laughed nervously and scratched my head. "I kind of fail with planes," I said back.

"I noticed," Skulduggery said, gesturing to my now shaking leg. His arm stretched out until his hand was resting on my thigh, holding it steady. I laughed again, biting my lip. The intercom overhead buzzed loudly, saying that "Flight 302-96 was now loading".

I stood up, and Tanith immediately grabbed me and dragged me towards that giant tunnel thing leading to the plane. I've always wanted to be in one of those, and then come out slowly, and then see my Significant Other (cough wink nudge) and go rushing towards them. And the sudden music swells and people clap and gush at how marvelous our romance is.

Okay, done now.

**12:05 PM**

The French Sanctuary was kind enough to book us two three seat things. Ghastly had the window, China had the middle, and Fletcher got the unfortunate aisle. Tanith, Skulduggery, and I were across the aisle. Tanith was sitting next to me at the window, I was the middle, and Skulduggery was at the aisle too.

I felt the plane's engines fire up and we were lifted into the sky with ease, though I think I nearly broke my finger after biting it.

**12:35 PM**

This is when I began to have heart attacks and wrote the first bit about how I hated planes. Just letting you know, Diary.

**1:06 PM**

Aaaand here's where I wrote the second entry thing about how I still hated planes. Tanith noticed me doing so and laughed quietly. I stuck my tongue out at her and turned back to writing. Skulduggery was meditating beside me, so I figured it was safe to break out the diary. I made sure to _not_ go anywhere near the creepy fantasies and such.

**1:40 PM**

WE FREAKING LANDED. AND I LIVED. This calls for a celebratory mental dance! Join me Diary!

**2:00 PM**

I had decided already that France will either be really awesome, or incredibly terrible. I mean, first of all, I don't speak French. But, we're also in the City of Love (right?) so maybe…Okay, fine. I'll focus on this whole giant gargoyle thing, but then once we get that pretty much wrapped up, my goal of romancing Skulduggery Pleasant will…commence and stuff.

Wow, I'm slightly crazed.

**2:14 PM**

"How much longer 'till we get to the villa thing?" Fletcher groaned. We were all crammed in one of China's…spare cars. (What the heck? I mean, who keeps cars in other countries? It's like, "Oh yeah, we're here in the Philippines! Let me just get my Porsche I've got lying around!")

"Fletcher," I said, "if we start this again you will be murdered."

He frowned. "You wouldn't murder me," he said. "You love me too much. Admit it."

"Shut up," I said.

"Oh, what a comeback," Tanith smirked. "I was expecting something more refined and more violent coming from Valkyrie Cain."

I frowned. "Fine. Fletcher, shut up or I will be reduced to cutting off your balls in the middle of the night."

"Not quite morbid enough," Ghastly chimed in.

"I would think there would be toxic waste involved," China said.

"We wouldn't want Fletcher turning into the Joker, now would we?" Skulduggery said. "He's already insanely happy, and not quite normal."

"Valkyrie should be Batman!" Fletcher called out.

"Alright, and then when I catch you, I'll get Uncle-Commissioner Gordon to arrest you and put you in a jail cell with Sanguine as Poison Ivy and Dusk as Mr. Freeze."

"Can you imagine Sanguine running around in a skimpy lime-green leotard with vine make-up?" Ghastly mused quietly.

Tanith whimpered. "Please pull over. I think I'm going to be sick."

"Agreed," Skulduggery added and sped up China's _spare_ car. I do have to say that that's probably the strangest conversation we've all had, besides the one about ostriches. That was about whether or not Skulduggery was an ostrich in another life, since he fell and got his head buried in sand, while standing upright one time. That was amazing.

**3:00 PM**

Okay, we finally made it to the villa. And, let me explain what the villa looks like in my most poetic and dumbest voice I can muster. I'll even make the writing all fancy for added effect.

My uncle's villa was perched precariously on a protruding hill. By the gorgeous backside, there's a lake with shimmering water that catches the light as the sun sets, creating a wild fire upon water.

The house itself is dazzling. (Unlike my writing.)

The outside paint was a light peach color, and the windows and doors were all a cherry wood color. There were three garages on the right side, two of them already with cars Gordon had bought once, back when his heart beat. (Speaking of Gordon, he was very disgruntled about how I stuffed him in my cargo bag, and how he was tossed around. It was hilarious.)

The garages are positioned just so that the sun hits them first as it's rising, and they create abstract shadows on the archway leading to the front door.

The front door is made of the same dark wood as the windows and such, and has a silver knob. Fogged glass with diamond designs are in the center.

Alright, I give up.

All in all, the house is beautiful. It's got pretty coloring and crap like that. The inside is just as pretty. It's got four bedrooms and four bathrooms. Three rooms get their own bathroom, while there's just a random bathroom on the first floor.

We all got out of the spare car and collapsed into the main entry way. I flopped down on the ground, with Tanith next to me. Skulduggery and China were sitting gracefully on the couch by the door, while Ghastly leaned up against the wall. We looked all cool and chill.

"We never discussed who rooms where," I blurted out.

China nodded. "I think Valkyrie should get the master, since it is her house."

"Here, here!" Fletcher shouted. I thumped him in the stomach.

"I'd room with someone of the opposite sex, so long as it's not Fletcher," Tanith said.

"Hey!"

"Well," she rebutted and grinned.

"I'd room with whoever makes me room with," Ghastly added.

"Tanith and Ghastly should be together!" Fletcher sang out. He did so in a very terribly done falsetto voice, which just made me giggle insanely.

"I technically don't need a room," Skulduggery said, "just a chair, really."

"You stay with Valkyrie then," China declared.

Tanith grinned and kicked my leg. "Oooh!" she shouted.

"Hush up," I groaned and kicked her back. "As long as you don't rape me in the middle of night or anything," I said to Skulduggery.

He shrugged. "No guarantees."

"So," Fletcher muttered, "I'll get my own room, and China gets her own too. I am rather pleased."

"Well thank God," Ghastly said dryly, hoisting up Tanith and their bags. "I'm glad Fletcher will be alone. Leave him to do his lonely man things."

I laughed as Fletcher got up and ran after them, his bag in hand.

"It's not good to lie!" he shouted. China sighed and looked like she was rolling her eyes, but I think she was just trying to send some weird glance at Skulduggery. She reached to get her back and headed up the stairs after Fletcher. I watched as Skulduggery chuckled and then rolled off the couch and laid down next to me on the floor.

"We have weird friends," I said.

He nodded. "This is true. You alright with shacking up with someone as manly as me?" he asked.

"Yeah, when you wear some jeans, drink a beer, and build a dollhouse for me is when I call you manly."

"I can't even drink beer!" he shouted. He reached out and poked my side, making me scream and roll over. He laughed and poked again on the opposite side, and I squealed and swatted his hands away.

"You suck," I said.

"Suck what?" he asked back.

"Suck…your non-existent manliness."

"Don't take me down to Fletcher's levels, please," he said softly. I burst out laughing, slapping him on the ribs. He responded by poking me at the same time on both sides. I screamed and jumped up and ran away. Skulduggery got up right after me, and chased right after me.

**4:30 PM**

I remembered all the Elders saying that we should go and see the French Sanctuary as soon as possible.

Well, I think playing hide and seek with Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, and Fletcher is far more important. Obviously, China is being a buttface and isn't playing.

Way to spoil the fun, China. She'll probably kill me if she ever read this…

I was currently positioned in a wardrobe at this moment, and Fletcher was it. I was really hoping for the wardrobe to turn into a magical world of snow and talking lions and little kids being kings and queens, but it didn't.

Poo on this wardrobe then.

**6:00 PM**

Fletcher found me a little bit after **4:45**. Jerk. I was found last, and the way that Tanith was making us play was that the last person found would then be it. We played a round, then Ghastly was it, and then I got it again.

Blargh, I hate being it.

It's creepy. This house is too quiet. I'm afraid that something is going to jump out at me. Yeah, and jump out is exactly what Skulduggery did to me. I was just meandering through the kitchen, poking in all the cabinets, and such, when suddenly the panty opens so insanely quiet that I don't notice it. Skulduggery crept out and poked me on the sides again, extra hard and extra…tickling-ness. I screamed and jumped and aimed to punch him in the face, but he caught my fist before I could hit him and he put a finger to my lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Please stop sucking."

He laughed and put his arm around me again, leading me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. "Alright, I can try. Have you found anyone else yet?"

"No, I haven't," I answered. "And, really, I didn't find you. You were the idiot who jumped out at me. I think you should be it."

He shook his head. "No, that is most certainly not how the game works."

"What was the screaming?" we heard China call from her room.

"It was just Skulduggery sucking," I shouted back.

"So nothing out of the ordinary, then," she said.

"Nope!" Skulduggery shouted and grinned. I nudged his side, and he responded by pinching my sides lightly, making me squeal lightly.

"You love me," he said quietly.

And for a moment, I thought that he was serious. Of course, I started totally freaking out (mentally), before realizing that he was being sarcastic.

"Oh yes," I smiled, "I love you alright."

I wasn't sure if I was saying this in response to his sarcastic statement, or if I was actually stating that I loved him. It's still bugging me.

But anyways. This sort of concludes my day, and nothing really interesting happened. China yelled at us for causing such a ruckus, and Gordon refused to come out of the Echo Stone, since he's still sulking.

We ate, I felt nauseous since I always feel nauseous after being on a plane and eating, and then I threw up.

Indeed, I threw up. It was disgusting. Are you thinking that, Diary, this is interesting? No, it's not. This is normal for moi (I should actually learn French).

What is interesting is that Skulduggery came and found me, leaning up against the bathroom door. He looked at me for, like, five minutes before asking if I was alright.

"I'm just peachy keen, jelly bean," I replied. "Nothing like a good puke."

"You threw up?" he asked like it was the most shocking thing in the world.

"Yes, thank you Captain Obvious."

"Sorry General Cranky." He sat down next to me and let me lean up against him. Romantic, right?

Sort of.

It would have been romantic if he didn't poke me in the sides, making me laugh again. I groaned as I felt my stomach churn, but then relaxed when I felt his hands reach and hold my hips down. One hand rubbed my back and the other held me grounded.

"Do I suck now?" he asked quietly.

"No," I answered truthfully. "I love you right now."

"You love me all the time," he shot back. I didn't say anything back, but just snuggled up closer to him. "Good answer," he whispered.

So, all in all, Diary, this day was rather eventful. And from the stories I've heard of the French Sanctuary, I can't wait until we meet them.

~Valkyrie.

* * *

This is long, obnoxious, and I knew that doing two stories at the same time would come to bite me in the butt again.

Sorry for mistakes and thanks for reading :)


	5. Entry 5

Thanks for all the kind reviews. I love you guys a lot. I think this is the most reviews I've gotten in just a small amount of chapters/entries (course, that doesn't mean to keep leaving them).

And, as you all probably figured, I don't speak any language other than English. That is why, if any of you speak or read or are fluent in French and notice that the sentences are all retarded and stuff, it could be because I'm using a translator and we all know how reliable those can be XD

Also, going along with the whole French thing, there will be stuff in French here, but what I'll do is put exactly what it is in English right after it.

* * *

**Entry #5 Written June 5th**

Dear Diary,

Haha oh wow. I think I'm in love with France. Well, more specifically, the French Sanctuary.

As you may recall, the night ended rather lovely forme. I had thrown up, but Skulduggery had been there and he _comforted_ me like the _gentleman_ he is.

Would you care to know how my morning started out then?

Well, I woke up to the smell of burnt waffles, and that's just gross. I then realized that my butt really hurt, and then I further realized that I was lying in my bed. After that, my brain kicked into overdrive and I sat up in bed a little too eagerly and noticed Skulduggery fixing his tie/suit.

"I thought you had gone into a coma, for God's sake," he said lightly. I grunted. "Oh, that's right," he smirked, "caffeine comes first. No talking." I grunted again, getting out of bed. I then realized that I was still in my clothes from the previous day.

"OH THIS IS DISGUSTING," I shouted.

Skulduggery whipped around. "What? What?"

"I'm still in my _clothes_!"

"Do you wander around naked normally?"

"You know what I mean! Groooooss." I got up and bypassed him altogether, heading straight into the bathroom.

"Are you actually going to walk around naked?" he called from the other side.

I wrenched open the door and poked out my head. "What do you think?"

"It's unpredictable with you," he replied cheekily.

"Well then, you'll just find out." I smiled big at him, then shut the door again and got the water hot. I stepped in and I swear I almost fell asleep in there. I forcefully hit the water off and stepped out, and of course, realized I really had no clothes. I had grabbed my towel, and peeked out of the door.

"Creeper," I said to Skulduggery as he looked up from his book.

"I was waiting for the thump of your body. You've fallen asleep in the shower about six times now," he grinned. "I'm of course just looking out for you."

"Oh well thanks a bunch," I said. "Well, I need clothes, and I'm still in my towel, so don't freak out and yell at me for being half-naked and for not giving you a warning, when I most certainly did."

"You won't forget that, will you?"

"Nope!" I smiled and stepped out of the bathroom. I watched Skulduggery's head tilt as he watched me cross to the dresser and grab my clothes. He laughed as I yanked on the new coat Ghastly made me, since it wouldn't come out from the drawer. I stuck my tongue out at him, and then disappeared back into the bathroom. I threw on my protective pants and the new protective shirt Ghastly had made along with the coat. The shirt was short-sleeved, and was long enough to cover the exposed skin that was uncovered by my coat. I had the coat in my hand and stepped out of the bathroom. Skulduggery was still there, only he was adjusting his tie again.

"It must be perfection, Valkyrie," he said as he noticed my eye rollage. "Do not mock a man and his suits. In fact, don't ever mock suits. They are _suits_."

"Suits are God!" I called out, stepping out of the room and into the nice hallway. Skulduggery followed me, grabbing his regular disguise and carrying it downstairs. We reached the kitchen where the smell of bacon, coffee, and burnt waffles mixed in the air.

Ew.

Fletcher smiled at me from his seat at the table. "Ready to go partying at the French Sanctuary?" he asked cheekily. Everyone but Skulduggery and I got out of official work, since they weren't _detectives_. Ghastly sat next to Fletcher and he was eating toast and bacon. Tanith sat on the counters with her hair all huge and giant, and her eyes bleary.

"What's wrong with you?" Skulduggery asked _ever so delicately_. (Note the sarcasm?)

Tanith stuck her tongue out at him and sipped her coffee. "I just slept bad is all."

"I bet you did," Fletcher added with his smirk.

"Please, no sexual innuendos until noon, Fletcher," Ghastly said. "Our minds are already too perverted thanks to you. I began thinking about whether or not someone who is paralyzed from the waist down is still able to get it up."

"I've wondered that too," Skulduggery mused. "Just like if someone were to shoot someone else in the crotch. Could they be _saved_?"

"Why did I gladly accept this invitation from my brother?" China asked tiredly, gliding into the kitchen. She looked absolutely perfectly already. I hate how that's possible for her.

"Because you'd have to stay with your brother then," Tanith said.

China nodded. "I suppose I'll make do with all of Mr. Renn's _noises_," she said. And for a moment, no one understood the joke. I mean, China is always serious and barely jokes about anything. She's sarcastic, but not _funny_ like that. But a few moments later, Tanith and I burst out laughing. Ghastly joined next, then Skulduggery. Fletcher just pouted and stared at his pathetic burnt waffle.

"That was harsh, China," he said dejectedly and jutted out his lower lip.

"I apologize, Mr. Renn," China said as she went to making toast. Tanith was still giggling, as was I. Tanith leaned up against me as I hopped onto the counter next to her.

"What's with all the ruckus?" Uncle Gordon asked as he floated into the room unexpectedly.

"Gordon! You've stopped sulking!" I shouted.

He pursed his shimmering lips and folded his arms. "For the time being, niece. Don't think I haven't forgiven you for stuffing me in a bag and having those airport men toss me around like I was a sack of potatoes."

"It's sort of not my fault," I muttered. "And besides, you kept insisted that you come, and I wasn't going to bring you on in my tiny little carry-on bag thing, and also, you said it wouldn't be as much of a _risk_ if I put you in the other bag. Talk about touchy, uncle."

"I am not _touchy_," he huffed, "I am merely concerned with your treatment of me." I scowled and opened my mouth to say something, but Skulduggery's cell phone began ringing. How did I know it his? Because I set it to the most obnoxious tone I could find a little bit ago, and he hasn't figured out how to set it back. He glared at me a moment, then answered the phone.

"Hello? …Yes, we're here. We arrived here late yesterday, and my partner was _not_ cooperating, so we just didn't come at all…I understand, Mr. Bliss. …It is most certainly not my fault! …We'll be there soon. It's at the Catacombs, correct? …Right." He hit the END button and pocketed his phone. "Ready?" he asked with too much cheeriness for someone who just asked, "It's at the Catacombs, correct?"

"What about catacombs?" I asked as I hopped from the table and went to make coffee.

"The French Sanctuary is in the famous Catacombs of Paris," Skulduggery said. "Didn't anyone tell you this? And why are you making coffee? We don't really have time for that."

"No, no one told me that the freaking Sanctuary was in the freaking Catacombs! And also, _I _have time for it. You don't."

"Which is why we should go…" he added.

I shook my head. "Nope, they won't mind. If the French Sanctuary is so 'chill' about everything, they shouldn't really care. Besides, it's Bliss and Lithium. They won't yell at us too bad."

"Quite the contrary, Valkyrie," Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed. I felt him growing wearier with every word I said, so I eventually made my coffee, sucked it down upstairs as I grabbed my gun, necromancy bracelet, and shoes. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back to make it only slightly presentable, then rushed downstairs again. My coat was unbuttoned, but I still had it on. Skulduggery was waiting at the foot of the stairs with his disguise wrapped around his face. He literally pushed me out the door and into the 1960 Thunderbird that Gordon had bought a while ago. I don't what was the obsession with old cars, but apparently everyone wanted one. Skulduggery climbed into the driver's seat and revved the engine.

"Why can't I ever drive?" I asked sadly.

"Because we'd crash," he answered back.

"Hey, I got a license! Don't judge me that _one_ time when I drove your Bentley over the road."

"That was so terrible. My poor baby never recovered," Skulduggery said, like the freaking car actually was his own child. That man is truly obsessed.

"For God's sake," I mumbled, "marry the thing already."

"I may just do so," he said. "Now, Valkyrie, quiet, because as a twenty-five year old lady coming in to Paris, I believe it is the duty of the elder male who is escorting her around to enjoy the sights of Paris."

"The 'elder male'?" I asked.

"Shush," he said and slapped my leg. I jerked it away from him and stared out the window to the "sights of Paris".

I won't describe everything I saw, since that would completely kill my hand, but I'll just say that it was completely beautiful. I fell completely in love with Paris, yet I won't let Skulduggery know it. He drove the car smoothly through the crowded streets, until we reached a big place called the Barrière d'Enfer. There was a huge line of people waiting to go somewhere, and I had a feeling I'd be going there.

"Do we have to wait in that line?" I kind of whined.

Skulduggery laughed and shook his head. "No, we've got some sort of pass, issued from the French Sanctuary. The people at the front issuing tickets and such will allow us in with no problem."

"Are they magical?"

"Indeed they are." Skulduggery cut the engine as he pulled into a space on the road. We stepped out of the old car and made our way to the line. Some people were pretty PO'ed that we'd gotten ahead of them, but there weren't any people yelling or anything. The man at the front of the line with the money and tickets and such nodded once at us, since he most likely knew who we were. How often do you see a skinny, creepy man wandering around with his young assistant? We climbed down the stairs and into the main entrance of the Catacombs.

It was _creepy_.

The lights were dim and freaking skulls kept jutting out of the walls, like they were going to eat me or something. Skulduggery didn't seem to be fazed by the surroundings, but I sadly realized that he had to look at a skull whenever he passed by a mirror.

"Look," I said, trying to joke around a bit, "it's your Aunt Maxine!" I pointed a skull in the wall and watched him glare at me.

"Not funny in the least, Cain," he grumbled. "Now come on. We have to get away before everyone sees us." He placed a protective hand on my back (YES) and led me to the very back of the tunnels opened to the public. Not many people were back here. He stopped when we reached a wall.

"Just feel around for something?" I asked, already gently touching the wall. He nodded in an answer and began touching as wall. My hands roamed over a skull whose cheek bones had been cracked and worn down, and I quick poked it. It nudged a little bit. I laughed in triumph and grabbed the skull tighter and pulled harder. It came completely lose, revealing a small button behind the skull's recent spot. I pushed it slowly and the wall began to rumble slightly, but that was it.

"What just happened?"

"The wall's transparent now," Skulduggery explained, sticking his hand through the skulls. "We can pass through. The moment we pass through, a spell is cast on everyone who saw us enter and wander around here, so they forget that we were here. It had to be placed once there was a little incident with a Parisian citizen noticing a person had just passed through solid rock. When we step back out however, the spell is removed, only for another spell it be cast, making it seem like we and anyone we come back out with were here all along."

"Quite convenient," I added softly. He chuckled and allowed me to enter first. We both stepped through the wall and were faced with another, actually solid wall. There was a door with a small slot by the handle. Skulduggery put the little card that allowed us entry into the Catacombs into the slot, then removed it quickly. The door swung open, revealing a man in a tuxedo.

"We've been expecting you," he said quietly, allowing us to pass through. "Monsieur Rhett would like to see you in his office. Down the hall and to the left." We thanked him and he shut the door forcefully. He stood with his back to the door, staring as we walked through the Sanctuary.

The place was…dark. There were a few glass windows that had some absolutely beautiful designs on them, and there were a few random suits of armor scattered around the floor. A huge, unlit chandelier hung from the high ceiling. Its crystals dangled, and sparkled as the light from the lanterns hanging from the wall shone on them. The floor was a green marble type thing, with swirls of gold and white in them. The walls were of an equal color, with equal swirls. Skulduggery placed the hand on my back again and we headed down the hallways and took a left. There was a door with golden leaves on the sides. Incredibly beautiful piano music was on the other side.

I knocked and the door instantly swung open and I came face to face with Mr. Bliss. He nodded at us as a greeting, and let us through. Lithium was sitting on a chair, reading a book, obviously relaxed. He looked up at us and smiled. Mr. Bliss pointed to the far end of the room, where a huge grand piano was set up. A man was seated at it, playing the beautiful music.

This man looked to be about my age, but he could really be, like, 100 knowing the crazy age differences the magic world has. He had brown hair, which was neatly cut. His pale blue button down shirt was un-tucked and the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows. He had muscular arms, but not quite like Tanith's. He had a strong build, from what I could see. It wasn't like Ghastly, and he wasn't stringy like Fletcher, but he had enough muscles. He had plain dark blue jeans on and brown sneakers.

He stopped his piano music suddenly and stood up. His warm brown eyes and smile made him _really_ cute. He had pudgy cheeks, and a sharp nose. He had some slight scruff on his chin, but that was it. His skin was darker, but it was hard to tell with this light.

"Bonjour, je suis Alaire Rhett. Je suis le détective tête à ce Sanctuaire. Êtes-vous?**(Hello, I am Alaire Rhett. I am the Head Detectice at the Sanctuary. You are?)**" he said – in French obviously. He smiled as he looked between Skulduggery and I. "Parlez-vous français?**(Do you speak French?)**" he said again.

Skulduggery shook his head. "Je fais, mais mon conjoint ne veut pas,**(I do, but my partner does not.)**" he answered in complete and fluent French. The man nodded in understanding.

"Since when can you speak French? You never told me this!" I shouted at him.

"It never came up, Valkyrie," he answered cockily. I seethed and stomped his foot. He grunted something in French, but stood still.

"I see this will be a fun time for us all, no?" the man asked quietly, mostly to himself. "Well, anyway," he began in perfect English, albeit a strong French accent, "let me try again. I am Alaire Rhett, and I'm the Head Detective here at this Sanctuary. May I ask who you are?"

Skulduggery nodded. "I'm Skulduggery Pleasant, and this is my partner, Valkyrie Cain." I felt the hand still on my back tighten a little.

"Marvelous! Monsieur Bliss began to worry if you two had gotten lost, correct?" He smiled at Mr. Bliss for a moment, then back to us. "I see that you Mademoiselle Cain do not speak Français. True?"

"I don't speak it, no," I answered. "I took a few years of it in school, but it's all gone from my brain. I only remember…'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi s'il vous plaît?**(Will you please sleep with me?)**' and that was from a perverted friend.

Alaire Rhett burst out laughing, stomping his foot a few times. "A lovely gesture, but perhaps another time, then, Mademoiselle Cain? For now, I believe that Mademoiselle Robin wishes to speak with you. As does Madame Gabs." He smiled again and led us four outside and through a few more doors, until we reached another bigger door. This one had stars on the outside. He knocked on the door and a small voice answered the knock in French.

"Ont-ils arrivés, Monsieur Rhett?**(Have they arrived, Mr. Rhett?)**" the voice said.

"Oui, tous les quatre d'entre eux sont ici,**(Yes, all four of them are here,)**" Rhett answered, and he opened the door slowly.

The room was huge. It had pretty much the same design as the main room, but it had an even bigger ceiling. Wires ran around the floor, all hooking up to a giant computer that was attached to a wall. Someone sat in a chair at the computer, furiously typing. Numbers and letters flew by on the screen.

"She gets temperamental when you interrupt her typing," Rhett said quietly to us.

"J'ai entendu ça! Ne croyez pas que je suis sourd à ces choses dans mes oreilles! Mes jambes mai ne fonctionnera pas, mais j'ai encore une audition parfaite! **(I heard that! Don't think I'm deaf with these things in my ears! My legs may not work, but I still have perfect hearing!)**" the person shouted back. They finished their typing and turned their head to face us. They were female. I watched as her arms and hands went down to the sides of her chair and grip something.

And then I realize d that she was confined to a wheelchair.

She spun her chair around slowly, careful not to get any cords or wires running across the room snagged on her chair. She had dark brown hair that went down to her waist, with a few splotches of blond in it. Her eyes were a light brown, and her cheekbones were high, just like Rhett's.

"Everyone," Rhett suddenly announced, "this is my twin sister, Aya Robin. She's the computer nerd here. And she does speak English," he added, directing it more to me. I nodded once, and then smiled at the woman. She had a slight smile.

"I apologize for my outburst," she grumbled. "Alaire does that to me. Anyway, you are Valkyrie Cain I know, and you are Skulduggery Pleasant. That's Monsieur Bliss and Monsieur Lithium. Pleasure to meet you all." And with that, she turned right back around and began typing again.

Alaire Rhett growled lowly, but ushered us all back outside. "Mademoiselle Robin isn't willing to speak now, which is not much of a surprise. I believe she will be after a few days. She is working on some new security systems for a prized possession, so she's been stressed."

"Prized possession?" Lithium asked, prodding for more.

Rhett nodded. "Ah yes. Follow me," he said and briskly set off. He led us all down another few hallways and down a few flights of stairs, until we reached a large steel door.

"Do not scream," he said in all seriousness. "This is a very top secret project, and we've pretty much discovered that this thing we have is very angry and does not really like people. At all. Be prepared." He laughed quietly for a moment, then turned to open the door.

Suddenly, something clicked in my head.

"Were you playing 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight'?" I asked as he slowly pushed the door open.

Rhett winked and put a finger to his lips. He pushed the door open a bit more, still slow. Finally, after a few moments, he allowed us to step through the door and into a huge gray concrete enforced room.

"Oh my God," I breathed as I watched the beast before me growl and snarl angrily.

One of the gargoyles that had been flying around was sitting just a few yards from me.

It was chained to the wall with three chains. Each sat atop each other. Three more chains chained its hands/arms to the floor, so it couldn't escape. There was a huge muzzle around its mouth, so it couldn't lash out and eat us, I suppose.

"How is this possible?" Mr. Bliss asked quietly.

"Did you hear of how a gargoyle had fallen out of the sky, and then police had taken it away quickly?" Rhett shot back with a question of his own. We all nodded. "Well, _we_ were the police. We had a sniper on the roof of Notre Dame and they shot this beauty with a dart, and he instantly fell from the sky. Our men picked him up instantly and got him here. We have since named him Monsieur Snuggles."

At the sound of his name, the gargoyle snarled something nasty, and then stopped his feet on the ground. The concrete shook, but it didn't give.

"That seems like a rather inappropriate name," I said.

Rhett shrugged. "We liked it, so we stuck with it." He smiled again and quick turned, but suddenly turned back again at the sound of a screech coming from the floor. He groaned and quick ushered us out as quick as he could, but suddenly, a huge explosion of concrete hit us. I felt a few pieces hit my right shoulder, but nothing broke.

Rhett helped me up, and the four of us dashed out, just as some men in dark blue uniforms rushed in there and subdued the creature. When we stopped running, Rhett stepped back and asked if we were hurt. I shook my head, and he quick left me and advanced on a man with a dark uniform who had pretty much appeared next to us. I felt a hand slip under my chin and pull it up. Skulduggery examined the few cuts I had on my neck and cheeks, but nodded, saying that I'd be alright for now.

"Nothing major," he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "No, nothing's bad. Yourself?"

"I think a cracked shin bone, but it's nothing too serious," he replied, patting my shoulder slightly. I winced a little but either he didn't notice, or pretended not to notice. Skulduggery did that almost all the time, and only bugged me about it later.

And yeah. Those were the highlights of my day. It's around three right now, and I'm bored and tired, and a few _huge_ bruises are beginning to form on my shoulder where I got attacked my concrete, but I'll go see if I can find a rock thing to fix me up. But…I'm too lazy to do it now.

After the attack, Rhett had to leave on urgent business, but he said he'd call us all soon and inform us of his Grand Mage's desire to meet us. Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. It was all very boring, and I wasn't focused, since my shoulder began to hurt really bad.

But for now, Diary, I shall leave you. Tomorrow should pose either boring, or really awesome. We'll see.

~Valkyrie.

* * *

MY HANDS HURT SO BAD FROM TYPING. ARGH.

But anyways, more was going to happen in this chapter, but it's late, so I'll add more next one.

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes! :D


	6. Entry 6

I love you all so much. :)

NEW METHOD ALERT. As I was crapping around with the French here, I remembered a suggestion my sister gave me. So, instead of having the actual French, what _is_ said in French **will be bolded**. And plus I got too lazy. Doing the switching from the multiple languages got obnoxious. Also, poor Word kept freaking out at the "misspelled" words in French XD But then there a few words that are written in French, but not bolded. Those are the pretty standard French things that pretty much _everyone_ knows. Like "oui," "bonjour," "mademoiselle," etc.

Lythia Harpen asked to me to put her character in here…So I did.

* * *

**Entry #6 Written June 6th**

Dear Diary,

Remember how I was saying that I love the French Sanctuary? Yeah, I'm changed my mind.

ARGH.

Okay. I'm taking deep breaths…And relaxing. I will write what happened today with a slightly steady hand, though my arm still hurts a bit.

So, yesterday ended with Monsieur Rhett calling, saying that he talked to the Grand Mage later after they had cleaned up the…gargoyle's sneeze incident (I don't even know) and that Monsieur Rhett said that the Grand Mage said that they'd see us in two days, so since it's been a day, we'll go see them tomorrow. I'm a little nervous. I know that everyone says that the French Sanctuary is a pushover and everything, but this current Grand Mage picked the spot there the Sanctuary rests now. I figure you've got to be pretty freaking messed up to choose the _Catacombs_ as a place for a magical HQ. Like, seriously? I thought the wax museum was creepy enough, and now we have secret entrances through skulls. _Psycho_.

Anyways, I woke up in my pajamas (thank God) and laid there for a while. I squinted at the clock and realized it was around noon already, and that I should probably get my lazy butt out of bed. I flipped the covers away and sat up in bed, but immediately fell back down. There was a faint knock at the door, and I groaned, which was the universal signal to go ahead and come on in according to Skulduggery. He flung open the door and went to open the drapes covering the giant windows. He pulled them back, letting the sunlight stream in through the panes and completely burn my retinas.

"Jerk!" I shouted and dived under the covers.

"Oh you'll survive," Skulduggery grumbled and poked my leg under the covers. "Besides, staying in this bed any longer could kill you. Seriously, _Fletcher_ is up before you. That's just crazy. I never thought I'd see the day."

I pulled the covers away just a bit, so I could glare at him. He smiled at me, and then pulled them all the way back. I clung to my pillow, since without the covers, my legs and arms were freezing. I openly admit that I wear "booty shorts" to bed, but it's not like I go out in public and I'm always dressed before a ton of people see them. Same goes with the tank top I wear to bed.

But upon realizing I wear a small tank top to bed, and noticing Skulduggery's insanely confused face, I noticed that the huge purple and blue bruise from the concrete hitting my shoulder was totally visible.

"You said you were fine," he grumbled, sitting down next to me to get a better look. I tried to scramble away, but his _really_ strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his lap, like I was four. He poked at my shoulder softly, and then kind of…jammed his pointer and middle finger into it.

"Oh for God's sake," I shouted, trying to jerk away. I almost succeeded, but Skulduggery kept me totally grounded.

"It's not broken or anything," he mumbled, "but we should get this fixed up. Does anyone have any of those rock things that cure bruises?"

I shook my head. "I asked around last night, and no one had any. Tanith said she left her huge supply back at England, which is _so _typical of her." He smiled and poked again at my shoulder.

"Lovely shorts by the way," he said, trying to hold back his obvious laughter.

I groaned and looked down at my shorts. They were decorated with dancing cookies on them and were a dark purple. "Don't make fun of my shorts. I love these things," I said and punched his shoulder. He laughed and set me down gently.

"Get dressed," he said – well _commanded_ really. "I know where we can get you fixed up."

"Does it involve French people?" I mused.

"No, they're Russian."

"Really?"

"No! We're in France, of course they'd be French."

"Hey, excuse me, Prince Skulduggery. Someone's cranky today. Is it your Time of the Month?"

Skulduggery groaned and dashed out of the room, ignoring my insane laughter. I love playing girl jokes on guys. It makes them so uncomfortable, which is just really hilarious. It's especially funny when I do it to Skulduggery, since he sort of _seethes_ and stomps around.

Anyway.

I threw on my protective clothes, and dashed downstairs. I said hi to Gordon as I flew past him. I sucked down my coffee and a (thankfully) not burnt waffle, and brushed my teeth, all while Skulduggery was breathing down my neck. He would _not _leave my side. Normally, I would be pleased, but since I kept tripping all over him, it got obnoxious. He grabbed his disguise and ushered me into the car again and we took off.

"I'm not dying," I stated quietly.

He shrugged. "Still. It can't hurt, Valkyrie."

"Well it already hurts, since you ever so gently poked me right on the worst spot. Thanks for that, by the way."

"Anytime. Ah," Skulduggery mumbled, "thank goodness we're here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shouted as we climbed out of the car. "You wouldn't be sick of me, now would you?"

"Of course not!" he replied, the laughter in his voice. "I don't know what I'd do without you!"

OH GOD ME NEITHER.

"You'd probably just wander around the streets of Ireland, confused as heck," I said instead. I think I'm beginning to develop an alter ego who just creeps on people. That'd be kind of fun…

He laughed and linked arms with me and dragged me to the back door of a small building. It was dark colored, and the door seemed old, and like it could fall off any second. Skulduggery pushed it open lightly, and then stepped inside gracefully. He led me to another door, and knocked quietly. The door opened a few moments, and a woman/girl greeted us.

"**How can we help you today?**" she asked. She had large blue eyes, dark hair (it was the color of pudding, simply), and a short body.

"**Yes, is Doctor Jacques here at the moment?**" Skulduggery replied, still in his spontaneous French.

The woman nodded and let us through."**The doctor is here, yes. He's not busy. Are you injured?**" she said, walking through a small curtain, and returning with a small pack of…purple powder.

"**My partner is, yes,**" Skulduggery replied, gesturing to me. "**Do you by any chance speak English?**"

The woman nodded. "Only small amounts, oui," she grinned and smiled. "What name you?"

"I'm Skulduggery Pleasant," Skulduggery said (no duh) and then turned to me. "This is my partner, Valkyrie Cain." I smiled slightly.

"Bonjour!" the woman greeted us excitedly. "I am Lythia Harpen, the doctor's assistant. Please to be meeting you." Her accent was incredibly thick, and as you could probably see, Diary, she had pretty bad grammar. But English is pretty much the hardest language ever, so it's okay. "What is wrong with you, Mademoiselle?" she asked me.

I pulled down my coat on my shoulder and showed her the giant bruise forming on my shoulder. "That sums it up," I said.

"**My God!**" she exclaimed, rushing up to me. She gently poked at me arm, which felt much better than when Skulduggery _jammed _his fingers in my arm. "What did happen?"

"Concrete attacked me," I said simply.

"Well this can be mended in moments. Do follow moi," she said and gestured for me to follow. Skulduggery stayed behind. Lythia Harpen led me through a small door, into a small lab room. She pointed to a bed and said for me to sit. She disappeared in through another door, and came back eventually, dragging a man with her. He was talking rapidly in French on a cell phone.

This man had tons of thick and full brown hair, which went down to his shoulders in waves. He had big, innocent blue eyes and an innocent face as well. Giant, square framed glasses sat on his nose, magnifying his eyes. He _seemed _to be around forty, but who knows with the magical ages now. He had khaki pants, a black button down shirt, and white lab coat on. I figure he's the French equivalent of Kenspeckle about now.

"**Hold on, old friend, I've got someone who needs my marvelous expertise. I'm sure it's for a good cause. Pardon a moment,**" he said. He took the phone away from his ear and hit a small button, placing it on the table. "**Who is this, Lythia, darling?**" he turned to face me, yet I was pretty sure he was directing the question towards Lythia.

"**She has a nasty bruise on her shoulder. A quick fix, doctor,**" Lythia replied, pointing a me. "**She doesn't speak French unfortunately.**"

The man nodded, then picked up his cell phone again, holding a finger out to me, signaling a moment. I nodded once, understanding him.

"**Didn't you say that you had some friends that were coming to my old France? I do believe at least one of them is here. She's quite pretty.**" He paused and listened to the other speaker. "**Yes, that's her! Valkyrie Cain you say?**" I looked up at the sound of my name. The man was staring at me kind of creepily. "**She's here with me in my labs. What about a skeleton?**"

"**There was a man with her, though he was heavily covered up. Should I get him?**" Lythia asked, making her way towards the door.

"**Yes, please do,**" the man said. He pointed to his phone and pointed to me. "Phone," he said simply, in English. I nodded and took is from him.

"Hello?" I asked. I had a feeling I knew this person.

"You've been there, what, two days, and already Skulduggery has you injured!" Kenspeckle Grouse shouted into the phone. "I knew I should have come along. Maybe then we wouldn't be dealing with this."

"I'm kind of alright, Kenspeckle," I grumbled. "It's just a bruise on my shoulder. We had a run in with some concrete, and it attacked me. Nothing major. No broken bones or anything."

"Still, Valkyrie. You're such a danger magnet, I swear," he muttered angrily. "Anyway, I see you've met my friend Dr. Jacques. He's like me, only not as old."

"And less cranky probably," I joked.

"Very funny, Valkyrie. But he's a good man. Doesn't speak much English."

"How can everyone speak French suddenly?" I shouted. "I never knew of these hidden talents!"

He laughed loudly on the other end. "Well, I've never need to speak it around you, have I? But I'm sure Dr. Jacques and you will be fine. He's good at getting his point across, even with those language barriers. And his assistant speaks some English, and Skulduggery speaks French."

"Yeah, we met the Head Detective and Skulduggery started rambling on in French. Nobody ever tells me these things."

"Monsieur!" Lythia said, coming back into the room, with Skulduggery following her. "**This is the skeleton Professor Grouse was talking about!**"

Skulduggery was carrying his disguise in his hands. He nodded to Doctor Jacques and the doctor nodded back.

"**This is your partner, Valkyrie?**" he asked. "**Professor Grouse told me about you. I assume he told **_**you**_** about me?**"

Skulduggery nodded. "**He did. He said he'd know we would need you, and turns out he was right**."

"I hear Skulduggery!" Kenspeckle shouted into the phone. "Let me yell at him!"

"No," I muttered and quick shut the phone.

Doctor Jacques laughed and pointed at the phone. **"I think I like her already. Now…**" He paused and tapped his chin in thought. "Be what problem, Mademoiselle?"

I cocked my head, but figured out what he meant. I pulled my shirt down, revealing the giant bruise on my shoulder. I pointed to it. He nodded and grinned, and quick rushed over to the opposite wall. He reached under a cabinet and pulled out a bottle and a small cloth.

"No hurt," he said softly as he dabbed the cloth at my shoulder. The liquid in the bottle smelled sweet, like brown sugar. Actually…It smelled like chocolate chip cookies. I don't know about you, Diary, but I think that stuff deserves to be praised. "Oui, new!" Doctor Jacques said excitedly. He discarded the cloth and closed the bottle, putting it in the cabinet again. I looked at my shoulder and noticed the bruise already beginning to go away. It stung only slightly, but not even to get a reaction from me.

Doctor Jacques smiled at me and poked at my shoulder a few times, making sure I was healed enough, I assume.

"Thank goodness you're a touchy feely person, Valkyrie," Skulduggery sighed.

I stuck my tongue out. "Thank goodness these people are nicer than you," I shot back.

"That hurt."

"**Yes, I'm beginning to like these two,**" Doctor Jacques muttered to his assistant.

She giggled quietly. "**I sense that the Tower would be good for them.**"

"**Excuse me,**" Skulduggery said, interrupting them, "**but what tower are you talking about?**"

Doctor Jacques shrugged and laughed. "**It's nothing to be concerned about. But Mademoiselle Valkyrie is fixed, and I am pleased.**" He bowed his head at me. "**I do hope you'll be back to visit, yet under better and more pleasant circumstances. I hear Professor Grouse has a tough time with the two of you and your injuries.**"

Skulduggery shrugged and went to stand next to me. "**He doesn't think I take good enough care of her. She's naturally in the best health.**"

"**We'll see when you two come in next time with a broken neck. Of course, I'll fix you happily.**" He waved and reached for his phone and dialed something. Lythia was already out of the door and waving for us to follow.

"I do wish for more visit!" she said happily. "Not many come in now."

"Why is that?" I asked as I adjusted my coat. Everyone kept pulling at it, so it got all messed up. Thanks guys.

"The Sanctuary thinks they have their own medicine. But Doctor Jacques has the best," Lythia said. "I do not think they have idea what they're doing."

"We could talk to them for you," I offered.

Lythia shook her head sympathetically. "No need, Mademoiselle. I do not see how those would listen to small assistant and doctor. They believe everything is fine."

So. At this point, the situation had turned really awkward. Like when someone is complaining about how they're fat or ugly, and you don't really know what to say or do. This is like that.

"Well," Skulduggery muttered, slightly dragging out the word, unsure of what to say as well, "if there's anything we could do, I suppose…"

Lythia shook her head. "Nothing, nothing, Monsieur. Believe that was enough, merci." We both nodded and said goodbye. I took the lead out of the building and stood by Gordon's old car.

"I miss the Bentley," I muttered.

Skulduggery nodded sympathetically. "I do too," he said, placing a hand on my newly healed shoulder.

"You do know I was joking, right?" I asked.

"Yes, and I wasn't," he replied, climbing into the car and starting the engine.

"Freak."

And this is when Skulduggery started rambling in French. He was just talking to himself for about five minutes, before he finally stopped. I don't know what he was talking about, nor do I _want_ to know. It's Skulduggery, and what comes out of his mouth in different languages other than English I'm just going to ignore.

After driving in silence for a few more minutes, my cell phone began to ring. I dug it from my pocket and answered.

"Hello?"

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle!" Alaire Rhett said on the other end. "Is everything going well for you? I hope that our Monsieur Snuggles hasn't caused _too _many injuries."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess I can't expect much less from a giant, hostile _gargoyle, _but who am I to judge?"

Monsieur Rhett laughed. "Oui, Monsieur Snuggles is still being broken in. Maybe soon he'll become the Sanctuary's pet, oui. But, I have some bad news."

"Oh really? We've gotten some pretty bad news ourselves over the years. We can handle it."

Monsieur Rhett laughed again. "Fantastic. Then you can handle the fact that two very burly men have just appeared and are attacking our Sanctuary. Think you can be here soon?"

"We're on it," I said quickly, and hung up. "We have bad news."

"So I heard," Skulduggery said, already speeding up. "The Sanctuary, I assume?"

"You assume correctly," I said. Skulduggery nodded and sped the old car up, weaving in and out of other cars on the roads.

We arrived at the Catacombs entrance quickly. Skulduggery whipped out the passes and showed them to the people at the front, who nodded and let us in. We raced to the back of the death-trap and I yanked the skull from the wall. Mr. Bliss was standing by the first door.

"Hurry," he said simply, and began towards the actual Sanctuary. "Has Monsieur Rhett filled you in?"

I nodded. "Me, not him," I said and pointed to Skulduggery. Mr. Bliss nodded and sped up his already incredibly fast pace and led us through doors in hallways that seemed to stretch on for forever. There was a great crash and boom that erupted from down below the floor.

"That would be the intruders," Monsieur Rhett said, as he suddenly picked up the pace and began following us. I have _no_ idea how he got there.

"They sound nasty," Skulduggery mused.

"They're not very nice, yes. Two guys are down there, trying to steal Monsieur Snuggles. I just talked to Madame Gabs, who thinks they must be the people or someone working for someone who is controlling them."

"Logical," Mr. Bliss said gruffly. He frowned as he came a halt at a door. There was a symbol glowing brightly in the center. It was a small rectangle, with a giant circle on the outside. They were vibrating and giving off a violent green color.

"If only China were here," Skulduggery muttered. Mr. Bliss was staring intently at the symbol; Monsieur Rhett had a small phone and was shouting to someone in French; Skulduggery was unraveling his disguise and tapping his foot lightly, which meant he was thinking. (Again, don't look at me like that Diary.)

I stared at the symbol as well, because I _knew_ it looked familiar. I racked my brain for where I had seen it before. I seemed to associate it with Wreath, which is just a bit weird.

And suddenly, it clicked in my head.

"Move please," I said to the three men and stood in front of the door.

"Don't touch it! You'll be killed!" Mr. Bliss shouting, but I ignored him. This was something that Wreath had taught me when he was training me for my necromancy. He said that I could counteract some symbols by using my shadows as a glove on my hands in a way. It could only be specific symbols, like the ones that could heal wounds, create barriers, or ones that create light. This was a symbol that created a barrier.

I took a deep breath and felt my shadows curl around my arms and hands. They crawled up me and tickled my skin. I released the breath and reached out to touch the symbol, and I heard Mr. Bliss shout something. Skulduggery shouted something at him, and I felt a bony hand on my newly healed shoulder. I shook it off and concentrated on the symbol.

"Break my concentration," I muttered, "and I die. Get off." The hand recoiled and I devoted my energy to the door. My left pointer finger traced the outside of the circle, while my right finger traced the small rectangle. The black seeped into the light and they instantly devoured the pulsing light. I backed away from the door and kicked it open.

"Merveilleux!" Monsieur Rhett exclaimed. He smiled at me as he bolted past, knocking down a few of his own people in his way. Mr. Bliss followed after him, continuing to knock down more people. Skulduggery ushered me forward. I raced into the room and carefully _avoided_ the poor people who had been previously mowed down. Both of us raced down the hall that Mr. Bliss and Monsieur Rhett had just disappeared into.

"**I'd advise you not to go in there,**" a voice suddenly said in French. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the ceiling. There was a camera and a speaker hooked up in the center. "**Yes, I'm addressing you two,**" the voice said again.

"**You sound vaguely familiar,**" Skulduggery announced to the ceiling. "**Did we meet you?**"

"**Yes, Aya Robin, remember? Monsieur Rhett's sister. Pleasure to meet again. But I don't think going in there would be a good idea,**" Aya said. I knew she sounded familiar, and hearing her say her own name jogged my memory.

"Why can't we?" I asked, remembering that she can speak English.

"Because you'd most likely get beaten up," she replied from the ceiling. It sort of felt like I was talking to some god or something.

I shrugged. "We can handle it," I said.

"That may be true," she muttered, "but also, the door is locked. My special security. I'm the tech nerd here, and I design all security, communications, weapons, and gadgets, etc. that we the French Sanctuary use. Which reminds me, I need to get you a security system and authorize the patches…" She trailed off and I heard typing on a keyboard. She loudly winced as the whole building shook with the force of…something. The door jiggled violently, and I thought it would give, but it stayed together.

"**He better be fine,**" I heard her murmur. "Anyway, don't go in. The door is shut tight, and Monsieur Rhett doesn't want his new guests getting eaten and/or killed and/or wounded. I wouldn't want to explain that to the Irish guys. They're mean."

I shrugged, not really going to counter argue with her. She was right. The Irish Sanctuary is made of a bunch of dicks…

The building shook violently and I stumbled, but Skulduggery swept around and steadied me. A few seconds passed before another shake, and we both held on to each other. The door burst open suddenly, and the two men were thrust out. Something – or someone – was attacking them, though I couldn't see it. Both men were thrown back on their backsides, and Mr. Bliss charged through. He aimed his fist well and landed a lovely, bone-crunching punch on one man's nose. The invisible force thing hoisted another man up and had him pinned against the wall.

"_Now_ you may attack," I heard Aya say from above. I nodded and grinned in triumph. Skulduggery took to fighting with Bliss, while I ran to the man against the wall. I released a thin trail of my shadows and pinned the man against the wall. He grunted and shouted in French. It sounded pretty mean, so I tightened the darkness around his arms and legs. He screamed something terrible and…exploded.

Seriously.

The man had pretty much turned into a shower of sand. Thank God it wasn't actual human bits raining down on me. Though I'm still finding sand stuck on my various body parts about seven hours after this all happened.

Someone shouted something in French, and that sounded pretty bad as well. Skulduggery hoisted the man he and Bliss had been attacking and said something to him in French. The man spat something back, then exploded as well.

Well, nothing can be weirder than this. (I _so_ just jinxed it, didn't I?)

"Damn," Monsieur Rhett said from beside me.

I screamed. "How'd you get there?!"

"_Magic_," he whispered and shimmered out of view. I felt two hands poke me in my sides, and I screamed and kicked behind me. Monsieur Rhett appeared back into regular view, and he scowled and rubbing his shin. "I can turn invisible, Mademoiselle, if you couldn't tell by now," he said, all annoyance gone.

"That's quite handy," I admitted.

"I got to spy on _so_ many girls in the locker room," he mused aloud and smirked.

"Alaire!" Aya shouted from the ceiling. "That's a terrible thing to do. Why not use your powers for good?"

"Excuse me, but I just snuck into the room and incapacitated one of those guys!" he shouted back. "Touchy, touchy, Mademoiselle Robin."

"Shush up, Monsieur Rhett," Aya replied. "Did my systems make it?" she asked.

Monsieur Rhett shrugged. "A few cameras and chips were damaged, but you're little team could get it fixed soon," he replied. "Nothing to worry about. How did the system fare for Monsieur Snuggles?"

"He's fine," she reported. "Though he seems a little nervous and jumpy after the whole building almost falling on our heads thing. A few days of solitary confinement should be fine for him. I figured he only likes to be disturbed if he has food, so if that's all we go in there for, no more accidents like yesterday should happen." She paused and the speaker was muffled and scratching sound was heard. "Madame Gabs wants to speak with you," she said.

"**Monsieur Rhett,**" a new voice said. "**Mademoiselle Robin did a systems sweep and found no major damages. That's fine and dandy, but I want my rooms and hallways cleaned and checked as well. We have entrances all around here, and entrances can be used as exits. Get full squads to protect the gargoyle, for if he gets into the wrong hands, it'll be my head, and I quite like my head. Are we clear?**"

Monsieur Rhett bowed. "**Crystal, Madame Gabs. Do you wish to survey the damage here? If not, we can have everything cleaned up in a few hours, though no guarantees it will be completely spotless. There's been an **_**accident**_** with the intruders.**"

"**Accident?**"

"**Yes, they both blew up into tons of sand. I swear I'm not lying, because our Irish guests are covered in it, the same with I.**"

"**Get them cleaned up. Or else somehow get rid of them quickly, and do **_**not**_** let them traipse through the halls, leaving trails of sand around. That is all.**"

Monsieur Rhett nodded and gestured for us to follow. He shut the door leading into the room, and he pulled a little sphere from his pocket and placed it in his ear. "Aya is that little suck-y thing still down here?"

"It should be," Aya Robin replied from the ear piece. We could hear everything she said. "Check in the walls."

"Yes, I keep things in my walls all the time," Skulduggery muttered. I giggled quietly, then had to cough up sand that had fallen in my mouth.

"This is so gross," I grinned.

"Agreed," he said back, shaking his head of the grains. I recoiled as half of the sand bits got on me.

"Jerk!"

"**Aya says she wants to know when you two will stop flirting,**" Monsieur Rhett suddenly said. I looked at Skulduggery, who scowled, and then translated what he had just said to me.

"For God's sake!" I shouted. "I find nothing wrong with having a _male_ friend."

"Agreed!" Skulduggery responded.

Monsieur Rhett shrugged. "I'm just the messenger."

And I'm ending the day here. Nothing else fun happened. Monsieur Rhett cleaned us up a bit, we went home, and I took, like, fourteen showers (and I'm still finding sand one me). Tanith asked me if I wanted to go swim in the lake, but all I did was just stick my legs in. I wasn't really all they energetic after the infiltration.

And thinking about what Aya/Monsieur Rhett said, I realize I haven't had any time to really _work_ on my getting Skulduggery Pleasant thing. We've been in France for only a few days and already I've forgotten the _important_ things in life. Well, staying alive is slightly more important, but still.

And I keep wondering who in the world this Madame Gabs person is. I assume it's the Grand Mage, but when they came on over Aya's speaker, they sounded a little…childish. I'm not sure, but it was just a little weird.

Anyway, I _really_ hope nothing is going to happen for a few days so that I can work on getting Skulduggery.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have written that. Now I _know_ that something terrible or big is going to happen. Oh, woe is me and all those who surround me who are trapped in the endless spider web of nasty deeds.

Dang, I'm awesome.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Lordies, this is insanely long. Apologies for that. But I didn't have to stay up super late to finish it!

I hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading! Sorry for mistakes! :D


	7. Entry 7

WOAH.

50-SOME REVIEWS ALREADY.

WOOOOAH.

:D

I LOOOVE YOU.

AND OH MY GOD. I just read a nice, juicy preview for Dark Days!! I'M SO PUMPED FOR THIS BOOK. I can tell that it's going to be terribly horrific, but in the good and gory sense. (And if anyone has read it, and can tell me otherwise, keep it to yourselves because I REFUSE to be further spoiled for it.)

Anywho…

* * *

**Entry #7: Written June 9th**

Dear Diary,

Again, I have decided that I _really_ don't like the French Sanctuary. Monsieur Rhett's cool and all, but I _really_ hate their Grand Mage.

She's a jerk.

NO. JOKE.

So, Diary, remember how I had said that we would be _officially_ meeting her on the 7th? That had been changed, and moved to today, because of the weird Sand People incident. (Weren't there Sand People in a Star Wars movie? I remember Anakin going all psycho and killing them all. Didn't they kidnap his mom or something?)

Today started out regular and normal enough. I woke up at a slightly more reasonable time, stumbled around looking for clothes, showered, drank three cups of coffee, and then "got to work," as Skulduggery and Gordon referred to it.

Pause.

A piece of sand just fell down onto the pages of you, Diary.

How the _heck_ is it still there?

Unpause.

The work that needed to be done was repairing the backyard, I guess is the way to say it. It had fallen into disrepair after a while, and it needed to be fixed back up again. Tanith had said she'd help me, but Tanith's flaky like that, and had gone out earlier with Ghastly. (~Ooh la la~) So, I was left to do it all alone. Sad face - D:

And, being the summer and everything, France can get reasonably warm (usually around 70-something) and today was especially hot. I'm pretty sure it was somewhere around 85. I enjoy the summer, but when it's _too_ hot, I get cranky. But thank goodness I had packed my super short-shorts and my super tight tank top.

Are you able to see where this is going, Diary? Did you figure out that while I was outside in my tiny clothes, that a certain skeleton meandered out, and then promptly had a testosterone attack?

DID YOU?

Yeah, well, that's exactly what happened (if you couldn't tell).

HA AND IT SUCKED.

Normally, it would be kind of hilarious to see Skulduggery all awkward and unsure of what to do, since he's always pretty confident in what he's doing. But really, it was _really_ awkward for both of us.

I was out in the slightly better looking part, just kind of sweeping around the dead leaves and flowers (happy sight, right?) and that's when Skulduggery waltzed up. I recall being behind a bench at the time, checking for dead animals (Gordon seems to attract dead things, doesn't he?) when I stood up and came face to face with Skulduggery.

"Still working, I see," he said, a hint of smugness in his voice. When it is _not_ there, though?

I threw a dead leaf at him. "Shush up," I grumbled and stepped around to the side of the bench he was standing by. I could tell when he straightened (this is like when he saw The Notebook and the sex scene there ((Yes, he and I have seen The Notebook)) and he freaked out) and I saw his head tilt towards my _legs_. Though he didn't have any eyeballs, I could tell he was staring me up and down. I would have been happy and kind of excited he had noticed me like that, but then he just stuttered and sort of mumbled a few French things.

"You okay there?" I asked, feeling more and more awkward.

"Um…Uh, um, yeah, just fine. Anyway" – he reached to scratch his skull – "Gordon wanted me to come out here and help. He made the excuse" – Skulduggery awkwardly cleared his throat – "that he can't pick anything up, which I suppose is a good enough excuse. Also Monsieur Rhett texted you." He handed me my cell phone and I quick scrolled through the text.

It read: "Grand Mage wants 2 meet u 2day. Free?"

I. HATE. CHAT. SPEAK.

I flipped my phone open to get the nice keyboard side and began furiously typing. Skulduggery mumbled something in French again, either about my texting skills, or about my lack of clothing. I sent a text back to Monsieur Rhett, saying: "We'd need time to get ready. Maybe in a few hours."

I closed my phone, stuffed in it my pocket, then looked up at Skulduggery. He had grabbed the broom I had been using and was lazily pushing the twigs and leaves that littered the stone walkway from side to side.

"He said that the Grand Mage wanted to meet us today, so I replied that we'd need a few hours," I said. "He also said it in chat-speak, and I don't know how a grown man can live with himself when he uses the number 2 for the word to. I _hate_ that."

Skulduggery chuckled and looked at me, level-headed as can be. Good to see he had regained himself. (And alright, I admit that this situation wasn't as awkward, but still. It was weird.)

Anyway, he said, "I've heard their Grand Mage is super secretive. There had been a time when she would hide her face from everyone."

"It's a she?" I replied, reaching to pick up a dead flower from the path and putting it on the bench. "We haven't had many female Grand Mages, have we?"

"No," Skulduggery agreed, "but there are a few in the world. Hungary, Japan, Russia, and Monaco are a few countries that have female Grand Mages. It's normally a male dominated field."

I nodded. "Darn those precedents. Darn those males from keeping women from doing anything."

"True," Skulduggery smirked. "If this was 1920 you'd be in a huge dress, cooking dinner for your eight children most likely."

"Ha! Eight kids. Don't make me laugh, Pleasant."

"I bet they'd all be named after me," Skulduggery mused. "The girls are…Skullesa, and the boys are obviously Skulduggery."

"Skullesa is probably the dumbest name I've ever heart in my entire life. Besides, who's the father?"

"I think the father would be Monsieur Rhett," he answered. I scoffed and took the broom from his hands and whacked his shin with it.

He frowned and put his hand to his forehead (or something like that) and swooned. "You wound me so, Valkyrie," he moaned. I laughed and grabbed his free arm and yanked him into a hug.

"Want me to kiss it and make it all better?" I said, pouring the sweetness into my voice as much as I could.

He chuckled once and pulled me closer into the hug. "You smell like leaves," he mumbled.

"Uh…Thanks?" I grinned and poked his skull after pulling back.

"Well they're good smelling leaves."

"Well I was worried they'd be crappy smelling leaves."

"Well don't be worried, since they aren't."

"Oh _fantastic_."

"Do you guys _ever_ stop flirting!?" Tanith shouted from the back door of the house. She still had her leathers on, and her hair was pulled up, and her helmet was in her hand. She and Ghastly had obviously gotten back. "I swear, it's like you're different people!"

"It's the French air!" Ghastly shouted from the window from his and Tanith's room. "It does that to you!"

"Shut up!" I shouted at them. Tanith laughed and twirled her helmet, but shut the back door and disappeared into the house. Ghastly smirked and shut the window and drew the curtains.

Jerks.

"Way to go, guys," I mumbled and untangled myself from Skulduggery and kept sweeping the path. He had disappeared a little later. And so, after this slightly romantic interlude, I cleaned up a bit more, went inside, showered, and threw on my protective clothes. Monsieur Rhett had texted back, saying: "sounds good. Wat time."

I growled, but texted back: "2:00 is good."

Monsieur Rhett replied: "k. C U."

OH MY GOD. I WILL MURDER HIM.

I lurked around the house, looking for Skulduggery. I saw China, and asked if she had seen where he went.

"I think he and Ghastly went out by the lake," China said. "In fact, I think everyone went out. Tanith asked me if I wanted to go, but I said no."

"And probably stuck her tongue out at you, right?" I asked cheekily.

China nodded. "I don't think she can get anymore immature."

I smiled and waved, and then went out to join everyone. Since it was still insanely hot, I stripped off my protective coat and lugged it around.

"Valkyrie!" Fletcher called out. I turned and saw him sitting in a tree. "I heard about your romantic adventures!" I scowled, and using my necromancy bracelet, I shot a black shadow up at him, coiling it around his waist and lifting him from the tree, and then dropped him on the ground.

"Meanie," he grumbled and got up, dusting his ridiculous hair (yeah, it hadn't really changed since I first met him) off from the dirt. "But I heard that you and Skulduggery had to head down to the Sanctuary soon to meet their weirdo Grand Mage, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Monsieur Rhett kept texting me, bugging me about it."

"Monsieur Rhett?" Fletcher asked, and I realized that we really hadn't been keeping everyone up to date on the happy French Sanctuary family. I quick gave Fletcher a run down on everyone we had met, and the crazy Sand People, and Monsieur Snuggles the Gargoyle. As I was telling him this, we walked throughout the garden, to get to the lake.

"I want to meet this Aya Robin," Fletcher mused. Of course, he would go for the cranky techie woman, and not care about the freaking gargoyle or the Sand People that had attacked everyone.

"I don't think she'd be interested in you."

"Who said I'd want to date her?" he asked, feigning hurt. "Maybe I'd want to be just _friends_. We could be like Yin and Yang."

"Yeah okay, after she'd beat you up," I replied, punching his shoulder lightly. He stuck his tongue out.

"I thought Fletcher had fallen out of the tree!" Tanith grinned as she saw us coming closer to the lake. She was standing knee-deep in the water, but she was wearing shorts. Ghastly sat in a chair by the edge of the water, allowing the water to soak the hems of his pants and get his shoes wet. Skulduggery was sitting up in a tree, leaning against a branch, and he seemed to be meditating.

"Technically he did," I said, stepping into the water after rolling up my pants and kicking off my boots, "but I sort of pushed him out. "

Tanith laughed. "Such a loving girl," she grinned. I growled playfully any tossed a handful of water at her. She laughed loudly and threw the water right back. I sent my shadows sprawling out, and they knocked her over, completely submerging her. She shrieked as she went down, her head disappearing beneath the water. I felt a hand grope my ankle, and soon, I was underneath as well. I bobbed back up and sat in the water for a minute. Tanith stood next to me, still dripping wet. She was glaring at me, but the small smile on her face betrayed her anger.

"I love you, Tanith," I grinned and stood up, dripping wet. Both of our clothes were plastered to our bodies, and it was quite uncomfortable. Fletcher wolf-whistled from his seat on the grass, and Ghastly and Skulduggery seemed to avoid looking at the two of us at all costs.

"Dry us off?" I called to them as Tanith and I waded up the edge. I had lost most of my Elemental powers after the necromancy switch, but I could still throw a mean fireball. When neither of them responded, we both shook our hair and showered the guys with water. Skulduggery growled and glared at me, but he still chuckled a bit.

Ghastly laughed and looked us up and down. "I need to make waterproof clothes soon," he mumbled and snapped his palm in the air. I felt the water that had clung to my body pull away, and saw it gathering in a little orb by me. Tanith giggled at it, poking the little sphere of liquid. Ghastly had deemed us sufficiently dry, then let the orbs drop to the ground, getting Fletcher wet this time. He shouted, but immediately shut up when Skulduggery dried him.

"What time is it?" I asked.

Fletcher shrugged, and dived for my protective coat, retrieving my phone and mashing a few buttons for it to light up. "It's…1:13," he announced.

I nodded. "Skulduggery, you and I are heading over to the Sanctuary at two. The Grand Mage thing is still on." He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but my phone rang again, signaling a text. I looked at the sender and it was Monsieur Rhett.

He had said: "Grand Mage wants 2 meat u & friends. Bring em alon."

Okay, it should be "meet" and it's "along."

ARGH.

Still, I texted back, after asking everyone what they thought. I was answered with very loud yes's from Fletcher and Tanith, and Ghastly merely nodded. Skulduggery said China could hop up at any time and go out. I said: "Everyone agrees. We'll start out now."

He replied: "goood since Grand Mage doesnt like 2 b kept wating."

I shut my phone and put it in my pocket. "Who's ready for some Catacombs?" I asked cheerfully. Skulduggery laughed and led the way back to the house. I asked Gordon if he wanted to come just for kicks, and he said yes, so I stuffed him in my pocket (reading that aloud sounds really weird). As Skulduggery had said, China agreed and was instantly ready. Skulduggery made sure he had his disguise all set, and then we all set out in the silver Honda Pilot Gordon bought. We all made Fletcher cram in the back, which we all just found hilarious, minus him.

But when we reached the entrance to the Catacombs, there was no line.

"What's up today?" Tanith asked.

"It's closed on Thursdays," Skulduggery answered. (Since when was it Thursday?) "But these guys have protective shields, like the one underground," he said, directing it at me. Once we get within three feet of the entrance, we'll all disappear from sight, but anyone who saw us will not remember that we had gone into the Catacombs."

"Man, that's so much better than pretending to be a wax figure," Fletcher muttered. We all clambered out of the car and China led us confidently to the entrance. Skulduggery whipped out a pass and held it over the stairs leading down to the Catacombs, and then we could walk down.

"There was a motion sensor there, I guess?" Tanith asked.

Skulduggery nodded. "The French value their privacy quite a lot."

I led everyone to the very back of the Catacombs, found the skull that held the button behind it, mashed it in, then casually stepped through the wall. Fletcher and Tanith seemed a little shaken at the site of all the skulls and freaking passing through a wall, but Ghastly assured them it was safe. Skulduggery put the pass to the door and it instantly swung open, revealing the giant beefy guy from before.

"**You are all the Irish guests?**" he asked.

"**Yes,**" China answered in French (of course _she_ had to speak it too). "**We are all here to see the Grand Mage**."

"**Proceed to Monsieur Rhett's office. He will lead you to Mademoiselle Robin's room, and the Grand Mage will be there.**"

We all nodded, though Ghastly, Fletcher, Tanith, nor I understood what they were saying. Skulduggery took the lead this time and we all went through the winding halls of the underground Sanctuary, until we found the same door leading to Monsieur Rhett's office. Tanith knocked quietly, and Monsieur Rhett (I assume) told us to come in, though it was in French. We all filed in, and he was sitting at his desk, typing furiously on a laptop. His sister was beside him, scowling at her own laptop in her…well, lap. The set of twins looked up at us at the same time, only Monsieur Rhett smiled, while Aya scowled a little.

"Bonjour!" Monsieur Rhett greeted us. "This is your whole posse, I assume?" he asked, gesturing to the newcomers. I pointed everyone out to everyone else. Monsieur Rhett shook everyone's hand, and only lingered on China's hand for a moment, obviously transfixed with her beauty. Big surprise, right?

"China," Skulduggery groaned irritably, and she laughed once, but nodded and smiled sweetly. Monsieur Rhett shook his head out of his daze, and smiled back.

"Lovely meeting everyone," he said grandly. "This is my twin sister, Aya Robin, the techie at our marvelous Sanctuary. She's not the nicest of people."

"Oui," Aya answered, agreeing to the insult her brother just said.

"You do know he just insulted you, right?" Fletcher asked. He was eager to get this Yin-Yang thing going on, I suppose.

Aya shrugged and looked up from her laptop screen. She had an earpiece in her ear, and there was a small black rectangle by her left eye. "We're twins," she replied, "what can you expect?"

Fletcher nodded from side to side, weighing the options. "I think I already like you, Aya."

"Correction," she said flatly, glaring at her laptop screen, "you will call me Mademoiselle or Miss Robin. If I decide _I_ like you, you can call me Aya. Until then, I'll punch you in the face."

Fletcher shuddered and stepped back. "All of you Sanctuary girls are the same!" he groaned dramatically. "You always aim me _right_ below the belt, and I don't think fathering any children is an option for me at this moment."

I laughed quietly and kissed Fletcher on the cheek (UM WHUT). "Sorry, Fletcher, we're just violent people by nature. We don't do it just to you."

"Here," Aya chimed in, "example." She moved her laptop onto a table nearby and rolled herself over to Skulduggery. She slapped his leg and he recoiled and glared.

"Mother of God what was that for?" he shouted, rubbing his thigh bone. Aya smirked and rolled back to her spot by the desk, picked up the laptop, poked the little thing on her face, then kept typing again.

"Violent, violent, violent people," Monsieur Rhett muttered, rolling his eyes in that loving way people do. "Anyway, everyone, if you could all follow me, we need to keep a schedule, since the Grand Mage needs to keep her own."

We all nodded, and everyone filed out the door, with Monsieur Rhett pushing Aya reluctantly. She was still typing at her laptop. We were all led to a different room, and not Aya's techie room. Monsieur Rhett stopped at a _huge_ door (picture Godzilla walking comfortably through this thing) and he all turned to us.

"A few things about our Grand Mage," he mumbled, "is that she doesn't like to be stared at. There's nothing wrong with her face, but she just doesn't like it when people stare. She also doesn't like when people use that tone that's used for 'dumb people,' as she calls it. She can be temperamental, but if you get to know her, and get on her good side, she'll warm up to you, and vice versa. So, having said that, Aya, if you could."

Aya stopped her typing and knocked on the door. Someone shouted something in French, and Aya opened the door and Monsieur Rhett let her wheel herself in.

"That giant guy at the front door said we should go to Aya's techie room," I said to Monsieur Rhett.

He shrugged. "Misinformation, I suppose. The Grand Mage tends to move a lot without people knowing. It's her _nature_. Ladies first," he said suddenly, gesturing me to go into the giant room. I went and stood beside Skulduggery, and Monsieur Rhett stood on my other side.

"**Madame Gabs, we have visitors,**" Monsieur Rhett said slowly. "**They're eager to meet you from all the weird things they've heard about you.**"

"**I'm glad those Irishmen are gossiping about me behind my back,**" the Grand Mage grumbled from her seat. And actually, her back was facing us. She was sitting in a giant leather chair, and she was facing a huge painting of some dead people/skeletons wandering around. Skulduggery seemed to avoid looking at it. The painting was coated with bright colors, and regular humans were dressed in Victorian clothes seated at a large dining table, eating and drinking and laughing and being merry.

There were two seats at the heads of the table empty. To the right of each of these empty seats were two women. One looked happy and was laughing with everyone else, while the other woman was staring at her gold plate, avoiding everyone's gaze. Beside each of these women were two skeletons. One naked skeleton beside the happy woman was equally happy, and his arms were raised, and he was holding a wine glass. He jaw was opened, and he seemed happy. The other naked skeleton was crouched by the sad woman, his hand over hers, and his other hand on her shoulder. The colors were all blended together, and I could see two little pictures on a table near the dining table, with two smiling Victorian-era men. One man was with the happy woman, and his smile was forced, and his eyes cold. The other man was with the sad woman, and he seemed genuinely happy to be with her. Two more naked skeletons were looking at the pictures, with what I would call disgust.

This painting = major symbolism.

"**Do you like the painting?**" the Grand Mage said suddenly. "**I can tell you're all staring at it.**"

I shrugged at Tanith, Ghastly, and Fletcher, then looked at Monsieur Rhett, who nodded. "**A few of our friends don't understand French, Grand Mage,**" he said calmly.

"Ah, well I'm sorry for that," she replied, still not turning to face us. "I was asking if you all liked the painting. It's usually the thing that draws everyone's attention."

"It's slightly creepy," Tanith muttered happily.

"It's the _point_," Aya said, still typing.

"How's the new technology coming, Mademoiselle Robin? Have you found any bugs in it? We can't release it until it's completely fixed."

"I'm aware, Madame Gabs," Aya responded. "I promise you that I'm almost done. I just need a little bit more time."

"Take all the time you need, Mademoiselle Robin," Madame Gabs (?) answered, finally swiveling around in her chair. I think everyone (minus Aya, and Monsieur Rhett) all tilted their heads at the same time and to the left.

This wasn't an adult. This was a _teenager_.

Her hair was short, like a crew-cut, and a very light blond. It spiked around her head, and it was cut in a choppy way, framing teal eyes beneath giant glasses. She had cherubic lips, and they were a light pink color. She had a tight fitting scarlet coat on. She stood up, and I saw black pants, with light gray boots with fringe hanging off of them.

"**Did you, Monsieur Rhett, explain the staring situation?**" she asked to Monsieur Rhett, who nodded once, though I'm not sure at what. "In that case, _stop staring_," she growled and stomped her foot. "I understand. It's not normal to have a fourteen year old Grand Mage! Don't think I haven't been told!" she ranted. "I've dealt with mutinies, but Mademoiselle Robin has used her technology to subdue them all, and they've all pledged their alliance back to me, but that doesn't mean that they won't do it again. A man word can't be trusted. There's not a soul out there who thinks me being here isn't ridiculous! Though they may respect me" – she shot a look at Monsieur Rhett and Aya – "but they still think it's bizarre to take orders from a hormonal teenager. Think what you want, everyone, but double cross me, and I double cross you."

The silence was almost unbearable. But Skulduggery, being ever the subtle gentlemen, asked what was on our minds: "How did you become the Grand Mage?"

"My father was the Grand Mage before me," she replied coldly. "He was murdered, and in his will it said that his occupation was passed to me, since he knew I'd do well with it. For three years I've been the boss here."

Skulduggery nodded. "And so, who painted that?" Wow, I don't believe I've seen a more abrupt subject change in all my life.

"What?" the Grand Mage asked.

"Who painted that?" Skulduggery asked, pointing to the skeletal painting.

"His name was Elliot Blanc, and he lived from 1896-1950. Not very well known, which is why I managed to obtain this without much of a hassle. Why do you care?"

Skulduggery shrugged. "No reason, Madame Gabs. Just curious. Valkyrie doesn't the right collarbone look a little off on that happy skeleton over there? I've been happy before, and never has my collarbone done that."

Madame Gabs gasped, but regained herself a moment later. "You're the skeleton detective, non? Remove your disguise, for you don't need to hide down here."

"I was not hiding," Skulduggery said as he unraveled his scarf, "but I had merely forgotten to take it off. You know, this _grand_ Sanctuary was far too breathtaking."

Madame Gabs frowned. "You are Valkyrie Cain," she said at me, "Fletcher Renn, Ghastly Bespoke, Tanith Low, and of course, China Sorrows." She gave a polite nod to each of us, but she clearly was not a touchy-feely person.

After this meeting, she explained her history in little details, being as smug as possible. Was I ever this bad a teenager? I didn't think so. This girl was mean, and spiteful, and was like a mini-female Fletcher. She kept playing with her hair, and it got so obnoxious.

But now, Diary, I must leave you. We're all going out to the lake for a real swim, and a water fight, so we'll see who gets murdered first.

~Valkyrie

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Argh. No comment.

Thanks for reading, and apologies for any mistakes.


	8. Entry 8

You'll see at a later point in this, that Valkyrie mentions soccer. Being an American, the soccer we have is the one with the ball on the ground, but everyone else being awesome and Irish/British/living in Europe, you guys call it football. But football in the US is the one where they all toss the ball in the air and yell, "HUT, HUT."

BUT. When I say soccer in this chapter, I mean the American football, where you throw it, and not kick it. Just to clear that for ya'll.

ONWARD.

**EDIT: ****I forgot to include the entry number and date it was written. That's all. **

* * *

**Entry #8: Written June 10th **

Dear Diary,

I love playing games at night in the summer.

We played MANHUNT last night, and it was really awesome. And just for future reference, anytime I mention MANHUNT, it will be in capitals. Why? Because.

After our water fight (and Tanith and Fletcher got murdered first, since they had sprayed China _and_ Skulduggery with water) everyone staying at the villa was sitting outside. The sun was still up, but slightly, so everything was peaceful and calm and bright orange. Ghastly and Tanith were up in a tree, so then Fletcher and I sang that immature kissing in a tree song (I still do that), so then Tanith threw a branch at us. She and Ghastly jumped down and I think we then began a giant game of tag. Fletcher kept cheating and teleporting halfway across the yard to get away, and Tanith would yield everyone away with her sword. China just idly sat by, watching us. Gordon stood beside her, staring wistfully at the sun.

"I should get outside more often," he mused quietly. It came so out of the blue that we all stopped our tag.

"You're kind of…not real," Fletcher said, _ever so delicately_. "You could come out at night. That would be easier, and not as many people are out."

"Yeah, but we live in Ireland," Ghastly grinned. "There's someone always out throughout the night."

Skulduggery nodded. "And the day doesn't really work, since you'd be pretty much transparent, and half of the people would see you wandered around."

Gordon looked dejected. "Gee, thanks everyone. Glad you all support me."

"Oh we do," I said, "but not in your decision to join the outside world. Maybe when the apocalypse comes and we only survive because we're awesome." Fletcher laughed at this and teleported directly next to me, poked my sides, and we started tag all over again. I felt like I was in third grade again, and it was too fun to ignore. China got a call from Mr. Bliss while we were playing and explained everything that had recently happened, and included the reason we were all screaming was that we were acting like four year olds. It was great. I stopped to watch her discreetly tell her brother something, but Skulduggery slammed into me, knocking us both down on the grass. I looked beside me, and he laid there, panting.

"Your brake lights were out," he whispered.

"You should be more aware of the road," I muttered back, rolling so I was on my side. I finally noticed he had taken off the tan trench coat and his suit jacket, and the sleeves on his blue shirt were rolled up to his elbows. "We've reached Casual Skulduggery now," I said and motioned to his outfit.

He smiled and laughed. "As Ghastly said, it's the Paris air that gets to you. It'll turn any man into a romantic sap and want to make him get married right away. I honestly think that's the only reason people like it so much. That and the pretty churches."

"Paris does have pretty churches," Fletcher grinned.

"Merci!" OH HOLY CRAP MYSTERIOUS VOICE. I jumped up as fast as I could, and Skulduggery was only a millisecond behind me.

"Sweet Jeezums!" Tanith shouted, jumping away. Monsieur Rhett shimmered into view from beside China and grinned at us all.

"Excusez-moi!" he said, laughing a little bit. "I didn't mean to scare, just wanted to play a…_prank_, I think is the word."

"How did you know we were here?" Fletcher asked a little defensively. Trying to protect the fort, I see.

"Oh, we know your living arrangements," Monsieur Rhett answered testily. "We even know who you all are rooming with." He gave a look at me and Skulduggery. I glared back.

"Hush up, Rhett," I groaned, sticking my tongue out. He smiled and put his hands on his hips. He had on plain blue jeans, old and beat up sneakers, and a shirt that had some French saying on it.

"I see you are all playing tag," he said, gliding into another topic easily. "Mind if I join? I promise not to cheat or anything."

"How about something else?" Tanith asked as the sun finally disappeared behind the Earth. (Poetic much?) "How about MANHUNT?" Fletcher and I shouted, "yes," while Ghastly, Skulduggery, and Monsieur Rhett stood there awkwardly.

"What's MANHUNT?" Ghastly asked.

"It's like hide and seek and tag rolled together as one," I said.

"We all know how good I am at hide and seek," Skulduggery grinned. "But how exactly does this go?"

"Well," Fletcher began explaining, "one person is it, and he's the Hunter. Everyone else is the Hunted. The Hunted all hide out in places throughout the boundary lines set up by the Hunter or whatever, and then the Hunter hunts the Hunted. When they're found, the Hunted become Hunters and look for the other hidden guys. It's simple. Except it's in the dark, and you're only allowed a flashlight. In a few cases, a flame in your hand."

He looked at everyone, stuck his finger and pointed at each of us (except China) and did that "eenie-minee-mo" thing. He got Tanith as the Hunter.

"China!" I called out. "Set our boundaries!"

She looked up from the book she had her nose stuck in and rose an eyebrow. "Nothing past the front door, hiding in cars is acceptable, no locking doors or windows of any kind, and no going into the woods. Good?"

We all nodded, and Tanith traipsed over to the lake, where she was supposed to count to one-hundred. The five of us all bolted away in different directions. Fletcher and I ran into the house, but he remained downstairs, but I went up. I dived into my bathroom and hid behind the shower curtain.

It was about twenty minutes later when Tanith found me. She had a flashlight, and the rest of the lights in the house were completely off. She shone it obnoxiously on my face until I got up and helped her. Ghastly was downstairs, poking at the furniture with a flame in his palm, looking for Fletcher, I assumed.

"Ha!" Ghastly called out triumphantly as Fletcher crawled out from his position under the piano. "I got him!" Fletcher frowned but stood up and stretched.

"Never hide under a piano, guys," he said, "cause it hurts to be all cramped up." I laughed and began dragging him back outside.

"Okay, we need to find Skulduggery and Monsieur Rhett!" I shouted.

"You take Skul, Val," Tanith grinned, "since we all know you want to!"

I spun around and glared at her. "Enough of this flirting business," I growled. "I'll take Fletcher with me, since I need someone to yell at." Fletcher whimpered slightly.

"You can always yell at Skulduggery and have make-up se –" Tanith began, but Ghastly cut her off by singing loudly.

"Let's not torture the poor couple anymore, Tanith," he said sympathetically, but still with a smirk. "We'll go try and find Monsieur Rhett."

We split up, with Tanith and Ghastly staying in the house, and Fletcher and I heading outside. We passed by China, who had a lantern by her chair, so she could keep reading. Gordon was still beside her, staring at the moon.

"Did you see where Skulduggery or Monsieur Rhett went?" Fletcher asked.

China shook her head and didn't look up from her hardback. "You guys wouldn't want to cheat, would you?" Fletcher grumbled something, but we kept walking anyway.

"So about this teasing thing," Fletcher began once we were out of earshot of China and Gordon, "We all love to tease you guys about this, and I'm curious if we're all…right in our…jokes."

"Are you trying to ask if I actually _like_ Skulduggery?" I asked, staring directly at Fletcher. His hair seemed to be glowing in the dark.

"Yeah, pretty much. I was just afraid to ask since I could get punched in the face."

I grinned and only punched his shoulder. "I'll let you answer the question yourself," I said. "Whether you figure it out from what happens is up to you."

He nodded, but then Fletcher was suddenly knocked back and he went sprawling to the ground with a _thump_. Another _thump_ was heard.

I stared at Fletcher, and the flattened grass across from him. "Way to cheat, Rhett," I mumbled angrily and reached out and searched for Monsieur Rhett's arm. Fletcher staggered up and dusted himself off from the dirt and grass bits.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Monsieur Rhett said, still invisible. "See, I never said I wouldn't cheat at this, since I said I wouldn't cheat at tag. This is a different game."

"My, what a cocky jerk!" Fletcher grinned.

Monsieur Rhett shimmered in front of us and he bowed. "Merci," he said. "Now, who is left to find? Is it anyone I could scare?"

"We only need Skulduggery, unless Tanith and Ghastly have already found him."

"Sounds lovely, then." He grinned again and marched back up to the house, where Tanith, Ghastly, and Skulduggery were.

"Looks like we found the opposite guy," Tanith mused. "Skulduggery didn't want to leave his hiding place, the big baby."

"At least he wasn't cheating," Fletcher added. "I slammed into Monsieur Rhett." He turned to look at him, but Monsieur Rhett was gone. "Who here knew he could turn invisible?" Skulduggery and I raised our hands. Everyone groaned, and Monsieur Rhett appeared next to me and laughed.

"Anyone up for a _rousing_ game of capture the flag?" Monsieur Rhett loudly asked. We all shrugged. "I absolutely love it."

"Why not?" Tanith shouted happily. "It's still early, and playing at night will make it harder."

Fletcher giggled. "That's what she said." We all glared at him, and he just laughed.

"Oui, oui, teams!" Monsieur Rhett called out. "Mademoiselle Sorrows and Monsieur Gordon care to play?"

The two looked at each other, but miraculously, they both came towards us. I never thought I would see the day when China Sorrows when join in a game like this.

"I think Monsieur Pleasant should be captain of one team," Monsieur Rhett announced, "and if there are any protests, I shall be the other team captain. Monsieur Pleasant, pick you're first player, s'il vous plait."

Skulduggery nodded and stepped forward. He opened his mouth to say something, but China cut him off. "Valkyrie, just go over to him," she said.

"Excuse me, but what if I wasn't going to pick her?" Skulduggery defensively asked. China rose an impeccably shaped brow at him, but he sighed and motioned me over.

The team picking carried on normally. Monsieur Rhett's team was him, China, Tanith, and Fletcher (he got picked last, poor thing). Skulduggery's team was him, me, Ghastly, and Gordon. Team 1 (the other team) trudged off towards the East woods, while we took our place in the West woods. Gordon was going to float around the edge to look out for anyone. He said he'd distract them, but he didn't say how, and I feared for my friend's lives now. Ghastly would hide up in the trees and move from tree to tree and side to side to get a better look. Skulduggery would sit in a tree as well, but he would be guarding our flag, which was his suit jacket. Team 1's "flag" was Tanith's sword scabbard for some strange reason. And, Diary, in case you were wondering, Skulduggery made me the person to go and get the "flag." Gee thanks, buddy.

The game started with a piercing scream, provided by China, respectively. I descended down from my perch on the tree with Skulduggery, and started running. I blew past Ghastly, who was still in a tree, scanning everything. He gave a type of war cry thing as I went past him, and I responded by speeding up. Gordon shouted something at me, as I ran straight through him and into the field of the backyard.

Fletcher stood at the other end, right by the edge of his team's woods. He waved cheerfully at me, and I waved back, but after shooting columns of shadows towards him. He grimaced, but teleported away just in time. I held my breath and listened for the little _pop_ he makes when he teleports. I heard it a few feet away, and I swung my leg and arm out, catching his chest. Fletcher flew backwards, and I cackled and picked him up with a tendril of shadow. He groaned and frowned at me, but let me pass by. I set him gently on the ground and raced past him and into the forest.

I hopped and jumped over giant branches and rocks, but I suddenly slammed into something else entirely. I saw the air before me glitter and little swirls appeared on a flat surface in the air. It was like there was a giant sheet of glass before me. But obviously, it was a giant force field that China had set up. And then, out of the blue, came a short burst of light, and I was knocked from my feet. Leaves crunched around me, and I knew China was at least a yard from me. I braced myself and halted my breathing, and sat up slowly.

"Ow," I managed, and China laughed calmly. She helped me up, but then immediately touched a symbol on her pinky finger and I went sprawling to the ground. She bent down to do something else, but I shot shadows out at her and knocked her away in the dirt and leaves. China crawled back up, pulling leaves from her hair, but then, without warning, lashed out and pushed me back against her Wall of Magic Barriers. We both slammed into it, feeling an electric shock go through us both. I cried out and threw her off of me, then tried running, but she shouted something and charged after me. I skidded to a halt when I saw Tanith slinking by with her sword. We stared at each other, but then China tackled me that moment and I went down.

Tanith laughed loudly, then ran away towards the forest edge and over to my team's side of the woods.

"China, you suck!" I squealed and kicked her off as she poked at me with a sharp stick.

"I'm defending my fort," she said back and went flying back when I threw a ball of shadows at her. I watched as she landed safely in the tree and she groaned. She touched her back, and the ground began shaking slightly. I growled at her from below and raced to the barrier and poked it, wincing as I felt another shock go through my body. I stuck a few shadows and traced a symbol that appeared near me, and my shadowed fingers stroked the swirl and it seemed to _purr_. No kidding. The shield purred like a cat.

But it collapsed after a moment, and I saw China jump from the tree and quick set it up again. "Good luck getting through this, Cain!" I smiled at her and darted away and through the trees. I eventually gave up and climbed up my shadows and to the top of a tree. I flew from branch to branch and found the scabbard amazingly.

The moon shone brightly in the spot where Team 1 had placed their flag, and I went to poke it, making sure it wasn't going to turn into a monster and eat my face off or something. I reached to grab the scabbard, but it was suddenly lifted from the ground and swung to my face. I bent backwards like I was from the Matrix and just missed the sword holder. Monsieur Rhett, obviously, materialized into the space next to the sheath. He laughed and lunged towards me, disappearing again. I felt arms and legs pin me down, and Monsieur Rhett was laughing quietly.

"Too bad we didn't establish raping as going to far," I mumbled.

Monsieur Rhett appeared into view again. "Oh, don't be crazy. I just protect my prized possession. I get really into a game like this. Any game where you keep something is something I love. I quick butt at it."

"Obviously."

"Did you fare well with China?"

"Oh yeah, I just had a few hundred or so volts shot into my body a couple times. Nothing _too_ major. I did kick Fletcher down easily though."

"I sent Tanith out for your flag."

"Yeah, I saw her. She laughed at me when China tackled me. That woman would be good at soccer, am I right?"

"I can see her freaking out about getting a grass stain over it, though," Monsieur Rhett grinned.

I shrugged to the best of my ability. "The women's league or something. You could join her team."

"Ouch!" he shouted playfully. But right then, I raised my leg slightly and kneed him right in his happy sacks. Monsieur Rhett rolled off of me instantly, whimpering and moaning and clutching his crotch. I smiled and jumped up, grabbed the scabbard, then bolted away. I climbed a tree and made it China's Magic Wall of Barriers, disengaged it, laughed at her surprise shout, and then kept running from tree to tree. I arrived at the edge of the forest, where Ghastly and Tanith were sparring in the center, with Fletcher being freaking tickled by Gordon.

I laughed, and took a few steps forward, waving the scabbard in the air. "YOU GUYS LOSE," I shouted to everyone and cackled when Ghastly took the opportunity to hoist Tanith up over his shoulder. China appeared next to me, and glared.

"We'll win the next time we play," she said and glowered at me. I could barely see Skulduggery leaning up against a tree at the other end of the field. He waved at me, and I pumped my fist in the air in return. Skulduggery heaved himself from the tree trunk and briskly came over to me.

"Very nice," he said quietly to me. "How'd you get it? I figured Monsieur Rhett wouldn't let you even touch it."

"Yeah, he had me pinned to the ground, but I kicked him in the crotch."

"Ah, uh, well, I can't say I'm glad," Skulduggery whispered, "since I know from experience how bad that can hurt." I giggled and remembered when I kicked Skulduggery in the crotch (by accident) and it still really hurt him. It was only the greatest thing I had ever done. We bugged Kenspeckle about it and he gave him some ice, but that didn't do anything. Skulduggery refused to talk to me for the rest of the day.

But anyway, we all turned towards the forest, where Monsieur Rhett was limping out, and he was yammering on in French on his cell phone. He shot me a glare after he had put his phone away, but addressed everyone.

"That was Madame Gabs calling, and she just wanted to let us know that at nine tomorrow morning, we're all supposed to meet at the Sanctuary, since Monsieur Snuggles has escaped."

"Who's Monsieur Snuggles?" Fletcher asked loudly.

"He's the gargoyle that these guys captured," Skulduggery quick explained. "And then he attacked us all. It wasn't a pretty sight. But I thought that Mademoiselle Robin had him tapped and wired and there were thousands of cameras around him. How did he get out?" Skulduggery asked, switching over to Monsieur Rhett.

"Madame Gabs said that from all of those…mini-earthquakes, as she calls them, caused by him were enough to crack the ceilings so he could get through. He ripped through the concrete, through the dirt and everything atop our Sanctuary, then burst through the ground and shot up into the surface. My sister had tagged him with a GPS type thing, so we know where he is, but it's just getting to him will be hard."

"What do you mean? Is he in Antarctica or something?"

"No, but it's just that he keeps moving so incredibly fast. He's been halfway around the world, but he keeps ending up back here in Paris. He was spotted around Église de St-Eustache, which is a church here."

We all nodded, and Skulduggery sighed quietly. "Never a quiet day in Paris, hmm?"

Monsieur Rhett shrugged. "Oh but we all love our pretty city," he said and gave a salute. "Merci for letting me join your childish games, and I had a lovely time, except for the being kicked in the crotch thing. Good thing I don't plan on having any children anytime soon." He gave a wave, and then bolted away to the house.

"Wait!" I shouted towards him. He stopped and turned towards us. "Do you want to stay here? We've got plenty of room."

"Madame Gabs wants me back at the Sanctuary, as does my sister," he called back. "But merci for the offer!" He turned again and disappeared by the side of the house. We heard a car start, and tires screeching.

And so, that was the day. It's a little late now, and that is why I'm lying in bed, with Skulduggery meditating in the chair beside the bed. He looks quite peacefully now. Did you know that he snores occasionally? It's the cutest thing ever. Usually that means he's about to wake up, so I know if I'm playing a prank on him when I need to get out of there.

But anyway, I must be leaving you Diary, since I need my sleep if we're going to on an actual MANHUNT, only with hostile gargoyles that could swallow me in one gulp. I'll leave you with that lovely imagery, Diary.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Sorry for being a day late. I had a tough week, and then I went to my grandparents this weekend, so I barely had any time to write. I worked hard on Sunday night to get this done, but I only got the chapter of **A Heart to Give** done, and I don't upload one without the other.

I'm on spring break all this week, so I should have loads of time to write. My inspiration has been up lately, but I just bet it'll drop since I just said that XD I'm definitely thinking I'll be able to have the next installment of this and **A Heart to Give** up by next Sunday, but we'll see.

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes! :D


	9. Entry 9

Wow. This is…Twilight length, I'm thinking.

I got Dark Days a few days ago. I haven't finished it, but I'm taking my time with it.

It makes me sad. It makes me unbelievably sad.

D:

* * *

**Entry #9: Written June 11th**

Dear Diary,

Stupid nature. I hate trees. I hate gargoyles. I hope they all die in fires. That would be nice. I hate sand. Today really sucked. SUCKED I TELL YOU.

Anyways, I don't think I need to tell you how that whole "search for Monsieur Snuggles" thing went. He, unlike humans, can fly, so no one was able to catch him. There were a few times when Skulduggery and I were together up in a tree, and we'd see him, but Skulduggery is too technologically retarded to work the cool walkie-talkie thing Aya gave us, so Monsieur Snuggles got away. He and I had been told to scout out the west parts, so we did just that. Before we departed, Monsieur Rhett gave us a little walkie-talkie thing that Aya had given him. I asked Monsieur Rhett why Aya wasn't with us, but he suddenly got uneasy and made an excuse about the rugged ground and her wheelchair. I don't really think that's what's wrong. You know, just sayin', Diary.

But, even though Aya wasn't there physically, she was there in an earpiece in my head. It got a little obnoxious after a while. Especially when we'd go from tree to tree and she'd start yammering on in my head.

"Be careful with my tech, Valkyrie," she grumbled in my ear. "Don't trip and fall on my beautiful work. I'd hate for that to happen; I'd have to run over your foot with my wheelchair."

"That would be hilarious," Skulduggery said, since he could also hear what Aya was saying. "I would enjoy seeing that."

"Yeah, I'm going to push you out of this tree in a second if you don't hold your tongue, Pleasant," I threatened.

Skulduggery opened his mouth and pointed to the empty space inside it. "I don't know what you're talking about, Cain. What tongue?"

I pursed my lips at him and prepared to jump to the next tree. I curled my shadows around my feet and took a huge leap, and I landed safely on the other branch with the darkness supporting me. Skulduggery took his "flying position," as he called it, and blasted the air behind him and floated over to me.

"I'm picking up Monsieur Snuggles's frequency. It's going hay-wire on me. Stupid monster. Hold on you guys," Aya grumbled, "I'm getting his signal. He's coming in your general direction from the south. He had just left Morocco an hour ago, but he's coming up here fast. Guys, climb as high as you can and see if you can get to him."

"But he's a giant beast!" I shouted. "How are we even supposed to get him? Wave a dog treat in the air, whistling and calling his name?"

"No," Aya answered tersely, "use my tech to call the main guys, and they'll know what to do. He's getting closer to you both, so I advise you to call."

I nodded at Skulduggery, and he pulled out the walkie-talkie thing. He pushed the ON button, but nothing happened. He pushed a few more buttons, and then it started shouting at us in Portuguese (I think). Aya sighed with frustration and tried to give us directions, but there was a terrible screeching sound and I heard, like, a helicopter. Both of us looked up and Monsieur Snuggles was there, staring down at us, his huge wings flapping every few seconds.

I don't think I've ever described what Monsieur Snuggles looks like, have I? Well, I shall do so now.

He was absolutely enormous. His body was at least eleven feet high, and he was probably five feet wide. He was a grayish-bluish color. His wings were double his body height, and his tail was around seven feet long. He had a long, ugly snout with sharp, intestine-shredding teeth. His tongue was huge and looked rough, like a cat's, only four times worse. Monsieur Snuggles had pointed ears, sort of like a combination of bunny ears and cat ears. They were tall, but pointed and could fold down. There were warts around his body, covering his enormous feet and hands. Both appendages had talons on each finger/toe, and I swear they could cut through the _Arc de Triomphe_ in a second.

Anyway, back to the real world.

Monsieur Snuggles floated above us, screeching something occasionally. He growled once, and then flew off. When he had gotten far off enough that we could hear ourselves think I could also hear Aya in my head pretty much hyperventilating.

"He got away," she kept muttering. Then she started off in French.

Skulduggery sighed and poked the walkie-talkie. "I'm sorry, Mademoiselle," he said quietly.

Aya grumbled something, but calmed down a little. "It's alright; it's not your fault. I know where he is, and we'll find him again. Just get down from there and go back to the main set-up. Madame Gabs sent me a message, and she's waiting for you two. Bonne chance."

Skulduggery and I exchanged looks. We both shrugged and descended down from the tree and we started back to the camp thing.

We got there a bit later, and Monsieur Rhett was there waiting for us. "Bonjour," he said, "I hear you had a run in with Monsieur Snuggles; Aya told me about it."

"Skulduggery is technologically retarded," I grumbled.

He socked my arm. "It's not my fault. I hit the right buttons, but it just started yelling in Portuguese. I did nothing to it."

Monsieur Rhett shrugged. "Well, as I'm sure Aya said after she was down freaking, we still know his whereabouts, it's just the catching him thing that will be difficult. And Madame Gabs wants to see you."

"Aya wished us good luck," Skulduggery added. "Should we be afraid?"

He shrugged. "Depends on if you're afraid of teenagers and their huge bodyguards. They shouldn't yell too much, since they know that you are here to help us, and Madame Gabs is grateful for that, I believe. And plus, she really hates the Irish Grand Mage, so she doesn't want a confrontation between her and him about his detectives. She already gets yelled at by a lot of other people. Anyway, I'm ahead of myself. She's in the tent over there." He pointed to a green tent a few yards off. We thanked him and headed over there.

"Madame Gabs?" Skulduggery said lightly. "**You wanted to see us.**"

"**Who's us?**" she replied.

"**Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant.**"

"**Yes, yes, come in,**" Madame Gabs said. Skulduggery held open the flap for me, so I stepped in first. He climbed in after me.

Madame Gabs was sitting in a fold-out chair in the darkness with only a candle. A huge, _huge_ man was holding the candle. He looked like those giant Sand Men we had run into before.

"What happened with the creature?" she asked shortly. "Did Mademoiselle Robin's technology not work?"

"He couldn't get it to work, but Skulduggery can't work a TV, let alone this transceiver/walkie-talkie thing," I answered.

She nodded. "Fine. We'll have to try again soon. I need you, Valkyrie, and Tanith Low to go to the _St-Étienne-du-Mont_, which is a church in Paris. We need you there by three in the morning."

I stood dumbfounded. "Three? In the morning?"

"We're short on men," Madame Gabs answered. "And we're going in shifts, so you'll be there until nine in the morning, when we will force Skulduggery and Ghastly Bespoke to take over. Bring caffeine and anything you will need to stay awake – it's going to be a long night."

"Would I be allowed to come along too?" Skulduggery asked tentatively. The huge man beside Madame Gabs grunted and the candle flame flickered violently, threatening to snuff out.

"No, since you're required at nine," Madame Gabs said, still patiently, but it was obvious she thought it was a stupid question. I, for one, was completely for it, since that would open up opportunities for our ~relationship~

Skulduggery shrugged anyway. "I don't need sleep."

"I don't care!" Madame Gabs growled, sitting up in her chair. "You are required at nine, and you will stay until two in the afternoon. Understood?"

"Oui," he answered.

"Good, now get out." Madame Gabs waved her hand away, and I assumed that meant for us to leave. Skulduggery allowed me to pass him and we exited the tent and went straight back to Monsieur Rhett.

"What did she say?" he asked me quietly. Skulduggery was getting yelled at in French by one of Aya's techie people about working the walkie-talkie.

"She told me that Tanith and I would need to go to the…St…It's a church, I know that," I replied sheepishly.

Monsieur Rhett laughed loudly. "I assume you mean 'St-Étienne-du-Mont?'"

"That's it!"

He smiled. "Oui, we're setting up guards at every church that Monsieur Snuggles has come close to. We don't know what they want, but we're going to find out." He looked up at the sky and mumbled something in French, but then he turned back to me. "Anyway, I think it'd be best if at least you when home and got some rest. Be sure to tell Mademoiselle Low to rest up too. I have a feeling the two of you are very cranky when tired."

"Hey, we like our sleep!" I said and grinned at him. He turned away quickly when someone called his name, but he gave a wave to me and sauntered off to the techie who called him. I smiled as he was forced to crawl under the table because Aya from a laptop told him a wire needed to be plugged back in, and none of the techies could do it, since they were all required to watch the frequencies and make sure Monsieur Rhett got the right wire. He emerged, carrying a leaf and a few parts of a wire, with some dirt on his face. His lip jutted out as he saw me laughing at him.

"What's so funny?" Skulduggery asked suddenly, coming up to me after being yelled at.

"They made Monsieur Rhett crawl under the table and fix a wire," I replied.

He grunted once. "This is a strange Sanctuary," he said. I shrugged and grabbed his arm and yanked him back towards the car we took here. "Where are we going, dear Valkyrie?"

"We, dear Skulduggery, are going back home since Monsieur Rhett told me I should go and get some sleep and to tell Tanith."

"Good, I hate nature."

I laughed and continued to pull him to the car. Now here is when things get boring. To sum it up, Skulduggery and I get back to the villa, I tell Tanith about going to the church, she gets mad, we both go to bed, sleep until noon, wake up, do some stuff, go back to bed, eat, shower, sleep, eat, sleep, shower again, and by then: It's two in the morning! (Yeah, we can sleep like no one's business.)

Tanith and I were grabbing everything sugary we had, and I threw some coffee in a bag, and we were going to jump on her motorcycle before Skulduggery stopped me.

"Do you have everything?" he asked urgently.

"It's not a sleepover," I replied smartly.

"I mean do you have your bracelet, your gun, your handcuffs, your phone, etc?"

"I got it all. I haven't had a chance to shoot anyone lately, so my gun is still good. My bracelet is only taken off for necessary purposes, and I have that. My cuffs and phone are in my back pocket, if you want to check for them."

Skulduggery sighed quietly, but he suddenly pulled me into a hug. "Don't let any gargoyles eat you or kill you or anything, alright?"

I nodded slowly. "I won't, promise," I answered. "I'll haunt you if I die, so there's no getting rid of me." He pulled back and glared at me. "Alright, alright, I'll be fine. Tanith will be there, and she's got her sword, and I've got my necromancy, and we're going to kick anyone who threatens us, so don't worry."

"Vaaaaalkyrie," Tanith whispered from the front door, holding two of her motorcycle helmets. "Stop sharing a romantic moment and hurry up."

I laughed quietly, then turned back to Skulduggery. I bit my lip and making one of my famous do-something-stupid decisions, I kissed his cheek. Before I could break away, he had already grabbed my face gently, and he had kissed me on the lips.

"Just be careful," he whispered and let me go. I half-smiled, kind of embarrassed by how much I was blushing, and also since on the inside, my stomach was doing back-flips and my mind was reeling and having a party, since _Skulduggery had just kissed me_.

"Valkyrie!" Tanith hissed.

"Okay!" I grumbled back. Skulduggery handed me my bag and nodded curtly. I winked and bounded out the door. Tanith had the little "trunk space" popped open on her motorcycle and I threw my bag in there. I buttoned up my protective coat, wound my hair up, put the helmet on, hopped on the back and gripped Tanith's waist. She revved the engines wildly and we sped off to St-Étienne-du-Mont.

We got to the church quickly. Tanith parked her bike where Monsieur Rhett, Madame Gabs, and that giant guy Skulduggery and I saw were standing. I got off and grabbed our stuff.

"Glad you could make it," Madame Gabs said testily. "Alright, briefing time. Ready to listen?" She glared at both Tanith and I hard. The giant man opened a briefcase by his feet and handed us a few gadget things. I was afraid he would crush my hand if I touched him. I mean, seriously, this guy was so huge (that's what she said).

"Mademoiselle Robin has given you these to help you out," Madame Gabs began. "The round things are earpieces, so you can communicate with each other and to get through to us. The square black things are little "bombs" that can be placed on enemies to knock them out for a few hours. Side effects include memory loss, so don't go and put them on yourselves or each other. This red ball is full of a gas to make a quick get-away. It only lasts for a few minutes so have an escape route planned out.

"Anyway, you'll go off in shifts, sort of," she continued. "To start off, the two of you will be stationed in that tower over there–" she pointed to the one tower with, like, a gazebo thing on it, "– and just keep a lookout for any suspicious characters. Any huge men who look like those Sand People, anyone lurking about, but ignore drunk people. If they somehow get in here, just usher them out quickly, and forget about them. If you see Monsieur Snuggles or any gargoyles at all, call us immediately through your earpieces. We'll have a techie on at all times to monitor you."

"After a little while, we want you to split up," Monsieur Rhett said, joining in. "You'll have your earpieces, so you'll never be alone mentally, just physically. The church can get a little creepy at night. But anyway, one of you take the upstairs part, and the other downstairs. Just do some rounds and examine anything suspicious. Suspicious things include things that look like bombs, beeping things, or people."

Tanith and I giggled quietly at Monsieur Rhett. He winked at us, and then gestured to the church door. "You can't get to the tower from the inside, so just float up there now if you could, or climb or do whatever. Just make sure that you aren't seen by many people. If you see a few drunk people, don't make a fuss of hiding, since they'll think they imagined it."

"And so," Madame Gabs said grandly, "bonne chance and have fun!" She gave a salute and turned to the giant man beside her. He nodded once and placed a beefy hand on her back and directed her to a waiting car in the shadows.

Monsieur Rhett smiled weakly. "Be careful up there," he said and also gave a wave. He trotted to the car and hopped into the shotgun seat. The car sped off, and it left Tanith and I standing by a massive church at three in the morning.

I won't tell about most of what happened, but I will say that Tanith and I got to talk about just about everything we wanted to. The church was deserted and we were free to roam about it. We talked about coffee, jelly beans, Monsieur Rhett, why I have giant ink stains on my hands, Ghastly, Skulduggery, guns, swords, blood, Scapegrace, and vampires. So, pretty much all things girly to us. Ha, we're so weird, but I love it.

But probably around 5:45 in the morning things finally get interesting.

I had been lurking around downstairs, stepping on my shadows so I didn't make any noise. I could hear Tanith humming the James Bond theme song in my earpiece, and I had to laugh at that. But right when I laughed, a hand came out from the darkness and clamped my mouth shut. I was able to shout out a muffled "Tanith!" but it probably sounded like, "Fanerth!" really. But still, Tanith looked over at me from her perch on the stairs, and since I couldn't speak, I couldn't warn her about the person who had shut her mouth.

"You seem to be in some trouble," I heard a very quiet voice mutter in my head. It sounded like Aya. "Don't worry, you can only hear me. I've sent out my brother and some of our guys to go and get you. Fight off whoever is there as best you can, got it?"

I could see that Tanith had gotten the message too, since her eyes were wide and she seemed to be thinking of a battle plan.

"You aren't struggling," said a voice in my ear. His French accent was incredibly thick. "I was told you were supposed to be some super-duper fighter. Obviously not."

I frowned and ran through all my tactical advantages:

1. My legs were free, which meant crotch-kicking was going to happen eventually.

2. My arms were free, which meant a punch in the gut was coming this guy's way.

3. I could lick his hand.

I have decided this guy wasn't exactly prepared to fight, since he didn't take precautions and incapacitate me. I mentally geared myself up, then stuck my tongue out and slobbered on the guys hand.

"OH GROSS!" he shouted and instantly released me. "You fight like a four year old!" I smiled and gave a kick to the shin, a punch to the gut, and slapped his ears and popped his ear-drums. I thank Ghastly's Mom for teaching him awesome fighting skills so he could teach me.

My guy groaned and staggered over. I shouted in triumph and reached down to poke him, but he suddenly erupted and sand flew everywhere.

HECK NO. I JUST GOT RID OF THE LAST BITS TWO DAYS AGO.

I growled and dusted myself as best as I could, but I couldn't get it off of me! Freaking sand.

But anyway, back to the fighting. I turned slowly at the sound of a quiet, deep laugh. If that wasn't cliché, I don't know what's right and left. I gasped as a hand reached out and grabbed my torso and hoisted me up. I couldn't see the person's face.

"It's dark in here," I said casually, "and I would like to see who is holding me in the air like I weigh two pounds."

The person grunted (I'm _pretty sure_ it was a guy). "Alright, fine," he growled and stalked off. I caught Tanith's eye, who had gotten rid of her guy quickly and was know standing on the ceiling. The man walked over to a stained glass window, where the moon shown. For added effect, I guess, he reached into his pocket and produced a lighter. He lit it and held it to his face.

He was really ugly.

"Well, aren't we just the ugliest person ever!" I said gleefully. The man growled and tightened his grip on my chest, and I gasped lightly. My ribs were taking too much.

"Okay," I gasped, and he released a little bit of force. I inhaled and exhaled, and nothing seemed broken, though there would be a billion bruises; I could tell.

"See?" the guy growled (I think that's the only thing he knew how to do). "Insult me, and I crush you."

"That's a lovely motto," I grinned. "Mind if I borrow it sometimes? I'm sure my friend will love it."

"You smell delicious," he suddenly blurted out.

…

Um.

"Gee…Th-Thanks," I stuttered. People can smell good. Like Skulduggery always smells like…a musky scented thing…Okay, whatever. He smells like an antique, if that makes sense. He smells like time, but also like fabric softener, which completely destroys his tough-guy image half the time. Yet no one has ever told me I smelled delicious. Except for those cannibals I met once, but they were nice and didn't eat me. Only threatened. Anyway.

"Valkyrie," I heard a voice whisper in my head. "Keep stalling. We'll be there in a few minutes."

"Be brave?" I asked.

"Yes," the voice answered. Ha, Diary, Skulduggery and I have a secret language. I was asking if that was Skulduggery, because why in the world would he have one of those things?

"What you are you talking about?" the man roared.

"Calm down, buddy," I replied. "I was just preparing myself. It's obvious you're probably going to crush me in a second, so I was gearing up. I hereby give you permission to crush me."

The man looked at me curiously. But his frown turned into a sadistic smile. Oh crap. That was sort of a bluff…

I screamed when his hand applied as much force and pressure as it could on my torso. I counted – and felt – at least three cracked and/or broken ribs. The guy threw me on the ground and I shouted in pain. In the next moment, three things happened.

The first thing was that Tanith dropped from the ceiling and stomped on the guy's head. He groaned, but reached up and threw her on the ground, hitting her head hard on the tile.

The second thing was Madame Gabs and her giant bodyguard man thing bursting through the doors. Monsieur Rhett followed after them, flanked by at least ten normally built guys. They all conjured up whatever magical power they had. Monsieur Rhett scanned the room and he saw me trying to sit up. He suddenly disappeared, but a few seconds later I felt warm hands grip me and carefully lift me up. Monsieur Rhett turned visible again and he commanded everyone to move. Skulduggery was waiting right by a dark car, and he instantly shouted something in French when he saw Monsieur Rhett and I.

I was switched to Skulduggery's arms, and Monsieur Rhett said something in French, then he dashed away.

The third thing to happen was that hundreds of huge Sand Men appeared out of virtually nowhere. I groaned something and weakly pointed to something, and Skulduggery shouted something in French, and then there were screams of pain.

"You suck at being careful," Skulduggery murmured in my ear. I opened my mouth to say something, but Skulduggery shushed me. I heard a very deep voice, and then Tanith's weak voice.

"Thanks," she whispered. Skulduggery opened the car door and placed me inside. He shut the door and led Tanith to the other side and helped her in. He climbed into the driver side and revved the engine, and we sped off.

"Hey Tanith," I muttered quietly.

"Shush," Skulduggery said from the front. "Talk, and I kick you in the shins."

I stared at him, and then looked down at my chest. Is it natural for something to be poking out of there? I poked it gently but immediately shouted, since that was kind of my rib. And so, as I was told, this is the part where I fainted. I don't remember anything that happened after this (no duh) but I woke up at Doctor Jacques' place. My cell phone was ringing; so I guess that's what woke me up.

I shook my head and sat up gently in the bed I had been placed in. My phone was sitting on the table next to me. I quick grabbed it and saw it was my parent's house number on the screen.

I pressed the TALK button and put it to my ear. "Hey there," I said sleepily.

"Did we wake you up?" asked my mom's worried voice.

"No, not really," I answered.

"Good," my dad said. "We just wanted to call and see how you were doing. We haven't heard from you in a while, and your mom wants to know how Paris is."

"Oh it's nice," I said. "The churches are beautiful. We haven't had much time to go around and see everything, but we've seen the Catacombs, and those are creepy as heck. The _Arc de Triomphe_ looks pretty, but we haven't seen it up close yet."

"And how's the villa working for everyone?" Mom asked.

"Just fine. It's got enough room for us all, and we love the lake and the woods and stuff. We played tag in the field."

Mom and Dad laughed. "How sweet," Dad mused. "We should have come on this trip with you."

Well, that would have ended up terribly if you had.

I laughed uncomfortably. "Well…It probably wouldn't work out, since we're always all off with our…_business_."

They both gave sighs of understanding. "I suppose," Mom said. "But how goes all of it? Are the French nice to you?"

"Yeah, they're all nice. A little crazy, but that's fine. As for how all of this is going…well…Not too well, I suppose you could say. The people causing the ruckus here are mysterious, and we haven't had anytime to research them, since no one knows who is behind it."

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery said, suddenly coming through the doors. He glared as he noticed I was sitting up, but I pointed to my phone and mouthed "parents" to him. He nodded and sat at the foot of the bed.

"Who's there?" Mom asked suspiciously.

"My friend. It's no one important," I replied. Skulduggery scoffed loudly and hit my leg lightly.

"Alright then," Mom said. "Well, what are you up to right now?"

"I'm just resting." I had to choose my wording carefully, since they'd freak out if they found out someone had crushed half of my torso. "I had a pretty crap night, you know, looking out for the…evil people."

"Oh that's too bad," Dad sighed. "What time did you say we should leave?" he suddenly asked. I realized he was talking to Mom when she answered him.

"Right, well Stephanie, sorry, but we have to go. It's something…Some function…" Dad trailed off, and I heard footsteps wander away.

"It's a lunch with some of the work guys," Mom clarified for me. "Why he agreed to it, I don't know. But we'll call you sometime soon again, okay?"

I nodded. "Right, I'll…talk to you later." My mom said goodbye and I hit the END button and put the phone back on the side table.

"What was with the hesitation?" Skulduggery asked me softly.

I stared at him. Then I stared at my chest where a few bones had been poking out earlier. "Oh, no real reason. Just…every time they say they'll talk to me or see me soon I always get a pang in my chest, like I'm worried that they actually _won't_ see me soon. I'm worried something will happen to me, or them. But this whole event can't be different from our others, right? Find bad guys, kick their butts, bicker, and then go home. Simple."

Skulduggery held up a finger quickly. He paused a moment, but sighed and nodded his head once. "This actually, is completely different from our other cases," he said quietly.

"And how so?" I questioned, kicking the blankets away. I was still wearing my pants, but I had a white t-shirt on. My black clothes were on the chair beside me. One of those little changing/hiding/neat screens was by the bed. I eased out of it, despite Skulduggery's small protests to stay still. I grabbed my clothes and slipped behind the divider.

"So are you going to tell me," I prompted him, "or just sit there staring at the bed?"

Skulduggery cleared his throat and I heard the bed creak as he moved. "Well, the fight went on when we left, so I don't know exactly how it happened, but Madame Gabs and that giant guy who follows her around managed to capture the big guy who crushed you like a doll."

"Wow, thanks for that."

"Anytime." He chuckled quietly. "But anyway, they cuffed him with the ones that fell out of your pocket-"

"So that's where they went!" I shouted.

"-and they brought him back to the Sanctuary. Madame Gabs and Monsieur Rhett have been questioning him, and Mademoiselle Robin has been recording it. We've found out that these giant Sand People have been altered to explode on command. They're under the employment of the Nottingham Family, but no one knows who they are. That's all the information they got out of him. He won't speak anymore, but Madame Gabs said they got what was crucial. She and her giant bodyguard guy disappeared into her office."

"So it's a family of evil people?" I pondered. "But what about the gargoyles?" I had finished getting dressed and stepped back around the screen. I sat down on the bed next to Skulduggery.

"They asked, but he wouldn't say anything," Skulduggery said. "I was hanging around the Sanctuary for a while, but I came back to here to see how everyone was doing?"

"How's Tanith?"

"It was a concussion, but she's fine now. Asleep I think."

I nodded. "Sorry about the whole getting almost crushed like a bug thing."

He shrugged. "You're alright now, and that's good enough for me."

"Yeah, where's Doctor Jacques? Or Lythia for that matter?"

"Not sure," he replied. "I think Doctor Jacques disappeared into his office, and Lythia was here all night, so she might have gone home. Speaking of home, I was told to take you back."

"What about Tanith?"

"_Ghastly_ volunteered to take her. He's hanging around in her room." Skulduggery shook his head and laughed quietly. He got up and held his arm out for me. I grabbed my phone and bracelet and linked with his arm. We walked out of the building and miraculously, the Bentley was waiting for us.

"How'd it get here?" I shouted.

Skulduggery laughed and patted the hood. "The French were nice enough to…somehow bring it over. I don't know how they did it, but it still works fine and it's my precious, so I'm not complaining. Now we can stop using Gordon's ugly, _new_ cars." I laughed and pushed him lightly.

Okay, so, I won't tell you what else happened today. I mostly sat around, not doing much. Gordon came outside a few times and he sat – well stood – with me as I sat by the lake. It was a nice day, and it would have been nicer if that stupid guy hadn't crushed me like a potato chip. But, as Skulduggery said, I'm alright now, so it works for me. I just hope that I'll _remain_ alright.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Oh boy, this is so incredibly long (that's what she said). I'm pleased with this, I suppose, and I got it done just fine. I can tell I'll be having some fun with what happens in the neeeext chapter :D

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes!


	10. Entry 10

The ending to Dark Days was like this for me:

DDDD:

:\

:DDDD

DDDDDDDDDDD:

:DDDDDDDDDDD

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

I'm planning to go over to Derek Landy in Ireland and go banging on his door, demanding WHY he had to write a depressing book.

AND. As of April 8, I had officially been on this website for a year! :D

* * *

**Entry #10: Written June 15****th**

Dear Diary,

Beer tastes like cow piss. Just sayin.

I'm not one to drink alcohol, but it helps get rid of the taste of sand…and I automatically spit it back out into a bucket, but still. I hate it. But, Diary, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm drinking in the first place! It's a terrible reason, and best explained through a long and hand-hurting process. This is my diary, and I'm charged with the task of writing everything down.

SO.

We'll start with the fact that was assigned by Madame Gabs to do sentry duty around Notre Dame Tower at two in the morning. They gave me time to "recover" from my "injuries," but I was totally fine after a day. But of course, this meant I could lay around all I wanted and it didn't matter AT ALL.

I took one of Gordon's cars to Notre Dame and got out quickly, since I could see Madame Gabs and her giant follower beside her. He had his hand on her shoulder protectively. She said something, and his body shook, like he grunted a response out or something.

"Good morning or evening, whichever you prefer," Madame Gabs said lightly. "You were expecting me to join you, I understand, but something called me away, so I must leave you with my trusty bodyguard."

(Since when have teenagers EVER talked like this?)

I nodded slowly. "That works for me," I said.

"Alright, well then, Carel Spar, Valkyrie Cain. Valkyrie Cain, Carel Spar. Monsieur Spar does speak _Anglais_, so no worries in that department." I held out my hand to him, and I almost backed away when I gripped my hand with his giant one. This guy, I realized now, was the exact same height and built exactly like the Grotesquery. I'm not exaggerating, Diary. He was _huge_. (I won't make a TWSS joke, so don't worry.)

"Bonjour," he muttered. His voice was deep; it was like a thousand fresh-out-of-puberty guys had gotten together. "Please follow me." He gestured to the grand doors leading to the cathedral. Madame Gabs gave a swift nod, then quickly left and hopped into a waiting car that I hadn't noticed before.

"Things will proceed like they did when you were assigned to St-Étienne-du-Mont, only minus your friend, Mademoiselle Low," he began. "Mademoiselle Robin has given me these for us. It's the same technology we gave you before. Don't worry about it being different." He handed me a little earpiece, the black square thing, and the little red ball. "Mademoiselle Robin and her brother Monsieur Rhett are watching us, so they will know when something goes wrong. We've placed small cameras around here, since in case we're not in an area where there is activity, one of the siblings will notify us and we can catch them. Anything resembling bombs should immediately be taken care of, obviously. If you see one of those men, alert me along with one of the twins."

"I don't like being referred to like that," Monsieur Rhett mumbled in our ears. I chuckled quietly, and I proceeded to sweep my hand over the area. I pressed my hand against the air and floated up onto the second story part of the cathedral. I have to admit, even though it was pretty much pitch black, this was a beautiful place. I could see some of the stained glass from the moon shining through it, and I couldn't believe how beautiful it was! The designs were gorgeous and incredibly detailed. I would have bowed down to those windows.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Aya said quietly in my head.

"It's incredible," I breathed lightly.

"Our churches and cathedrals are absolutely marvelous. I haven't been in one in a long time, but I see all the pictures my brother takes."

"Why haven't you been in one in a long time?"

There was a slight hesitation on her part, but she answered with, "I've just been way to busy to go on up and see them. You haven't had much time to see anything, have you?"

I shook my head. "No, too much stuff going on. And plus, I can't get anyone to go along with me," I replied sadly.

There was a static type noise, and I heard a small shout. "Sorry," Monsieur Rhett suddenly said, "my crazy sister, mon Dieu."

I smirked. "Monsieur Spar scares me slightly," I mumbled.

Monsieur Rhett laughed heartily. "He gives off that effect. He's not much different from Monsieur Bliss, is he?"

I shrugged. "I suppose not. At least I _know_ Mr. Bliss, and I _don't_ know Monsieur Spar. They're just these really giant guys who lumber around with scary glares."

"Oh you'll get to know Monsieur Spar. He was Madame Gabs' father's friend, so he's supposed to protect her."

How interesting…

"Yeah, I never caught the full story," I said. "Madame Gabs' father died, and then made her the Grand Mage?"

"In his will, oui," Monsieur Rhett replied. "It was a few years ago when it all happened. It was a case about vampires, naturally. They came charging in here, creating a terrible mess of the place. Grand Mage Elijah Times was hurt bad. We tried to save him with the help of a magic doctor, but it was too late. That next week, the funeral was held, and the will was read. It said that he was giving everything he ever owned to his daughter, and for his friend Carel Spar to care for her."

"Who was the magic doctor?"

"Doctor Jacques."

"I've met him!"

"Yeah," Monsieur Rhett muttered, "he's great with what he does, but no one trusts him, since he couldn't save Grand Mage Elijah Times."

"Is that why him and his assistant are so bitter?"

"Most likely," he said. "I liked them, and it wasn't their fault they couldn't save Grand Mage Elijah Times. He had been seriously injured. I think he sort of died on the way there. I try to convince Madame Gabs to go back to them, but she holds a mean grudge."

I nodded, and then froze. For the love of all that is Holy, these Sand Men won't go away. I looked down to the bottom floor and saw two guys creeping around, about to sneak up on Monsieur Spar.

"Hey!" I screamed.

"What?" Monsieur Rhett screamed back. He paused, then said, "Oh, I see. We're on it."

Monsieur Spar heard me and looked up, but then looked back down when one of the Sand People threw a hard punch to his left cheek. I took a running jump and leaped from the ledge and crashed into one of the guys. He growled and threw me off of him and reached for me. I knocked his hand away and climbed to my feet, shooting shadow tendrils after him. A few stuck him in the legs and feet, which was where I was aiming. I looked at the pews beside me and made a silent apology to all the Gods for wrecking their pretty church. I curled my shadows around the pew and sent it hurtling towards the big guy. He was just regaining himself after being hit with the shadows when a giant piece of wood went slamming into his chest.

He crashed backwards and I bolted towards him, putting my foot on his face, and sending a few shadows to bind his feet and hands together.

"Mademoiselle!" Monsieur Spar shouted out. I looked over at him as he gave the guy he was fighting a huge uppercut. His hand shot to his pocket inside his leather jacket and he produced two pairs of handcuffs. He pitched a pair at me. I grabbed them and bent down to the guy and cuffed his hands, but kept the shadows on him, just in case. I flopped down next to him on the ground.

"Au revoir," he mumbled suddenly and scrunched up his face for a moment, but he suddenly frowned and struggled against his confinements. "What did you do to me?"

"Has anyone ever told you about the cuffs we magical guys use to drain people's magic? Yeah, there's an abundance of them with the Sanctuaries," I said.

He growled. "The Sanctuary won't be able to catch us, or beat us for that matter. We the Nottinghams are stronger and more powerful than you and all of your stupid officials can ever hope to be! We'll kidnap you and then kill you if we find no use for you."

"Okay, time to stop being a cliché henchmen, please," I muttered, raising a hand to give him a solid punch in the nose. I brought my fist closer to his face, but his cuffed arms lurched out and grabbed my arm. I tried to pull away, but the guy's face yanked me towards him, and he opened his mouth and bit down hard on my fingers.

Tanith has bitten me multiple times when I point at her, because she is four, but this _really_ hurt. It was like he completely ate my fingers off.

I pulled away in disgust just as the doors burst open. Madame Gabs, Monsieur Rhett, and Skulduggery were in the lead, and they were being trailed by four or five regular detectives. Monsieur Spar rushed up to them to give a report while I nursed my finger.

"What the heck was that for?" I whispered angrily to the guy.

"Whatever will happen to you won't last forever, so don't sweat," he said simply, then against all odds, exploded into sand again.

I screamed and staggered up, stalking past the group and shaking myself from the sand. If I wanted to be covered in tiny, obnoxious little grains of rock, I would have gone to the beach. I wouldn't be fighting off gargoyles in France in the cathedrals. GOD DARN IT.

"Are you alright?" Skulduggery asked, coming up to me.

I growled and threw a fist full of sand at him. He dodged it, but I managed to get some in his eye sockets. HA. He grunted and shook his skull of sand, and suddenly, my stomach did a back-flips. No, Diary, it wasn't the kind with butterflies where you're all nervous and in love and stuff, this was that feeling before you get sick and throw up.

"Are you alright?" he asked again, placing a hand on my back and steadying me. "You suddenly turned super pale and staggered. Are you sick?"

"I'm sort of feeling that way," I answered meekly.

"Here," he said, leading me towards the wall of the cathedral, "sit down for a bit and rest." I eased down onto the sidewalk and leaned my head on the stones. Skulduggery sat down next to me and pulled me closer to him, so I was leaning against his thin frame. I looked up as the two guys we were fighting were lead out by Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar. The guy I had been fighting looked over his shoulder and smirked evilly. I glared at him, but then remembered what he had said:

"_Whatever will happen to you won't last forever, so don't sweat."_

Apparently, after biting my finger, he had made me sick, because in that next instant, I leaned over to my left (not the Skulduggery side) and threw up. Skulduggery's gloved hand pulled my hair back gently and held it there until I finished gagging. I gave a few coughs, and then gasped.

"Skulduggery…Look…" I said meekly.

"I'm not looking at your throw up, Valkyrie," he replied.

"No, seriously!" I mumbled, gripping his arm and pulling his body over to my "puke."

He gasped and said, "What. The. Hell."

"I don't know."

"That's…

"That's not puke, I know."

"That's…"

"I seriously just threw up sand."

"Oh my God, that is so not natural!" Skulduggery shouted, pulling me up and yanking me towards the Bentley.

"Did she…?" I heard Monsieur Rhett say.

"I threw up sand!" I barked and pointed to where I previously was. "Don't ask how, but I certainly didn't have a balanced breakfast of crushed up rocks! The guy that I was fighting bit my finger and said that whatever would happen to me wouldn't last forever, and I now am vomiting sand."

"Get her to Doctor Jacques," Monsieur Rhett said simply, grimacing as I suddenly bent down and threw up again. "Hey!" he bellowed suddenly, turning to his detective posse. "Does anyone have a bucket?"

There were murmurs in French, but Madame Gabs emerged from her car that was parked on the side. She was carrying a plastic bag.

"Thank goodness we made a grocery store run today," she said cheerfully. She handed me the bad, carefully avoiding my sand pile on the ground. "I suppose, feel better and…bonne chance." She gave a curt nod to the two of us and returned to her car again. Monsieur Rhett bit his nails, but then approached us.

"Will you guys be alright?" he asked softly.

"We'll manage. Doctor Jacques's place isn't too far from here. Valkyrie can make it, right?"

I nodded, but refused to speak, for fear of vomiting again.

"I'll call you soon, then," Monsieur Rhett amended as he heard Madame Gabs's car horn beeping. He hurried over to the sleek car and slipped into the passenger side. They drove off quickly and quietly in the night. Skulduggery led me to the Bentley and forced me inside. He turned the engines to life and sped out of there as fast as he could.

I threw up a total of three times in the car, and once up the stairs to Doctor Jacques's place. Skulduggery burst through the door, and instantly, Lythia grabbed my arm and forced me into a chair. Doctor Jacques rushed over to me and took the plastic bag o' sand and shoved a bucket under my mouth as I vomited again.

"**This is strange,**" Doctor Jacques muttered. "**I've never seen anything like this. Mr. Pleasant, did you see what happened?**"

"**No, but Valkyrie told me one of those Sand People who work for the Nottinghams who are causing all the ruckus bit her finger, and he said that whatever would happen to her wouldn't be permanent, so him biting her had to do with this.**"

Doctor Jacques nodded grimly and he grabbed my fingers. He poked at the one that was bitten. "**Lythia, can you get me some of the cloths?**"

Lythia nodded and disappeared with some of cloths and handed them to the doctor. He pressed them to my finger and I yelped in surprise.

"Soo-rrryy," Doctor Jacques attempted, patting my hand lightly. "**Lythia, please get the bed ready. It'd be best if she stayed here, I think. Mr. Pleasant, what do you think?**"

"It's not my decision," Skulduggery said suddenly, yet I suppose it was in response to Doctor Jacques's question. "The doctor wants you to stay here for the night, since it'd be best. He asked what I thought. But what do _you_ think?"

I shrugged. "If he can find a cure, it'd be totally fine with me," I said feebly.

Skulduggery nodded and turned to Doctor Jacques. "**She says if you can find a cure, it'd be fine with her.**"

"**There's no guarantee about the cure. I may have to call Professor Grouse about this. He's more familiar with the things you get into.**"

Skulduggery chuckled once and helped me out of the chair once Doctor Jacques said something else I didn't understand. Skulduggery led me to the bed that Lythia had made all neat. He pulled the covers back and forced me back, handing my bucket to me.

"How did they know we'd be here?" I wondered quietly.

"I imagine Monsieur Rhett or someone called them with a heads up," Skulduggery replied, falling into the chair beside the bed. I scooted back and propped my pillows up and crossed my legs, and waited to throw up again.

Alright, so, after a bit of just sitting there, Skulduggery called up everyone back at the villa and gave an update about what was happening. Tanith began freaking out, and she insisted she pack me a bag of random stuff I'll need. Skulduggery left for a bit to get the bag, and when he returned, he had the bag, and Monsieur Rhett was trailing behind him.

"Hey, what did you all bring me?" I asked cheerfully, catching the bag that Skulduggery tossed at me. "I have a bag full of crap and a French guy!"

Monsieur Rhett smiled as he pushed his hair back. "I – We were all concerned about how you were. It's not everyday someone vomits sand up."

"Who's 'we?'"

"The Sanctuary and your friends," he answered coolly. That was a pretty good save, I admit, but it could have been better.

"Valkyrie, I have to actually leave," Skulduggery said suddenly.

I stared. "Really?"

"Yeah, China and Tanith wanted me to help them with something back at the villa. Call me at some point, alright?"

I nodded and watched him walk out.

"That was only slightly strange," Monsieur Rhett whispered softly.

"What do you have behind your back?" I asked a bit later, finally realizing Monsieur Rhett's hands were together, hidden from view.

He smiled again and revealed his hands. He was legitimately carrying a six pack of beer.

"Wow, beer in a doctor's place," I muttered sarcastically, "that's classy."

"I asked Doctor Jacques if I could bring it, and he said yes. I thought it might help with that disgusting taste that is _bound_ to be in your mouth."

I frowned and stuck out my tongue in disgust at the taste. It was like…sand, spit, coffee, and bacon. I love bacon and coffee, but those combined with sand AND spit was terrible.

"Thanks," I said sadly, "but I pretty much never drink."

"Aw, just spit it back out into your bucket over there," he replied, "and then you'll be totally fine." He put the pack down on the table and popped open the cap on one of them and handed them to me. I took a small sip and cringed.

"Wow, this is why I don't drink alcohol," I mumbled.

Monsieur Rhett smirked. "Pretty soon the taste just mingles in with everything else. Especially when you're drunk. _Everything_ tastes like pure ecstasy when you're drunk."

"Wow, thanks for letting me know."

"Haven't you ever been drunk?"

"Yeah, a few times."

"And aren't I right?"

I took a moment to respond, but nodded eventually. "I _suppose_ so," I grinned and took another sip and spit it back into the bucket.

He stayed with me for a bit, and we talked about random stuff. No one got drunk or anything, though Monsieur Rhett I believe was only slightly tipsy. ("How _do_ they get the ink in those pens?")

He eventually left after giving me a _freaking kiss on the hand_. Lythia saw him out and Doctor Jacques gave me a look like, "I c whut u did thar." I pursed my lips, cried out when I felt that familiar feeling in my stomach, and threw up again in the bucket.

I slept through most of the night, and it's morning of the day I'm writing this. But I'm sure how you're wondering how I have you, Diary. Well, when Tanith packed my bag full of whatever, she grabbed you and chucked you in there as well. I guess she figured I'd want to write in your or something. And I did.

But anyway, back to Monsieur Rhett and his kissing my hand things…D: I like the guy, and I know that there are the French stereotypes where all they want to do is be in your pants, but I didn't really think that was true. I _really_ hope it's not true, either. Monsieur Rhett is definitely a sweet guy, and he gave me beer, and we talked for a long time, but I…I'd have rather have been with Skulduggery.

But, oh God, I truly think he was getting a little jealous. I don't want him to be jealous. I want everyone to be jealous of ~our love~ Stupid guys. I hate them for being cute and nice and sweet and adorable and for being Monsieur Rheeeeeeett.

Shot through the heart…And you're to blame…

Poo, now I have Bon Jovi stuck in my head.

…

Poo, I just threw up again.

I think I want to call Skulduggery. I think I really love him. I think I'm just really confused.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Failed ending, but I'm alright with everything else. I forget where my sand puke idea came from, but it amused me, so I wanted to use it.

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes (I didn't have enough time to proofread)! :D


	11. Entry 11

Your reviews are the greatest things. I look forward to getting the notifications every Monday at school. I came home the day after I uploaded the previous chapter, and there 23 new e-mails! Thank you all for your kind reviews and story alerts and favorites.

For the next three weeks/the remainder of April we're having state standardized tests, and we shouldn't get much homework, so I'm hoping I'll get a lot done :D

* * *

**Entry #11: Written June 20****th**

Dear Diary,

Freaking sand puke lasted all the way until yesterday (the 19th). Doctor Jacques let me go home after the second day, which was nice of him, but I was still miserable. The upside was that Monsieur Rhett came over a few times and hung out with us.

Did you see what I just wrote?

"The upside." …

ARGH.

But alright, let me explain about my day, since it's three in the morning, which technically make this the 21st, but whatever. It doesn't matter till I go to sleep and then wake up later.

So anyway, yesterday morning, I had thrown up again, but there was something strange about it. It wasn't strangely colored or that it looked weird, but I felt this strange weight sort of being lifted off of my chest. I took that as a sign that I would stop throwing up, and yes, I haven't blown once. I quick showered and slapped on some shorts and stuff, since it was especially hot. I joined everyone outside and told everything I was done being sick. Fletcher asked how I knew, and I told him because, and that if I were to get sick again, I'd go vomit on him. He cringed and threw the baseball he was playing with at me, but I struck it with my shadows like a bat and sent it shooting halfway across the field.

(Yeah, he was throwing the ball in the yard, then teleporting across the yard, then catching it, then throwing it back, and teleporting again to the other side. It was amusing.)

Skulduggery was leaning up against a tree branch in a tree with his hat pulled over his eyes and his arms crossed over his chest. I climbed the tree skillfully and made him scoot over, since the branch was big enough for both of us. I slouched next to him and tried not to tense up too much when his arm draped over my shoulder.

"So you're feeling alright now?" he asked from beneath his hat.

"Yeah," I said, "I'm feeling pretty awesome right now. I haven't been outside in a long time."

"I can tell," he chuckled and poked at my vampire-pale legs.

"I rather enjoy being this pale, so there."

He shrugged. "If you say so."

"Bonjour!" shouted someone from the house.

"Hey!" Tanith cried excitedly. "It's Monsieur Rhett!" Everyone perked up. Skulduggery and I jumped from the tree and landed on the ground softly. I raced Tanith to Monsieur Rhett, but I so totally beat her. Monsieur Rhett laughed at us.

"Aw, he likes you better, Val," Tanith grumbled as she stalked off.

I chuckled once, afraid that she was actually right. "Whatever Tanith!" She turned around and stuck her tongue out at me.

"How old is she again?" Monsieur Rhett asked quietly.

"Somewhere around 100 at least," I said. He smiled and asked if I would go take a walk, and I felt like we were in Victorian times.

"Should I get a chaperone?" I asked sarcastically.

He glared but shook his head. He grabbed my hand and yanked me closer to the villa but out of Gordon's earshot.

"So…" I began.

"Right, oui, oui…Uh…**Would you want to go-**" he started in French, but I cut him off.

"Non-French speaker over here."

"Right. Excusez-moi! Uh…" He paused and scratched his head.

"Is there something important you want to tell me?" I prompted him. "Like, something with the Sanctuary?"

"No, not really," he whispered. "Mademoiselle Cain, I was really just wondering if you might… consider going somewhere with…me."

"Are you asking me on a date?" I asked incredulously. He was doing a rather bad job at it.

"If you want to call it that. Like, it could just be friends, hanging out and doing…things. Nothing formal like that, but just something simple and…yeah."

"Well it just so happens I love _doing things_," I muttered and smirked. He smiled and scratched his head again.

"Fantastic," he said. "Can I go and steal you around six tomorrow?"

I nodded and said, "Sounds peachy, Monsieur Rhett." He bit his lip and snickered softly. But before I could react, he suddenly leaned down and kissed my cheek lightly. I gasped and gaped at him. He merely shrugged and turned invisible, then bolted off. I followed his footsteps in the grass, and I shot out a tendril of shadow at him. He shouted at the blackness at his feet and materialized in front of me. He did that thing with his fingers and the eyes (ya know, that watch-you're-back look) and I laughed at him. He disappeared into the air again and the footsteps on the grass faded gradually. His car purred to life somewhere on the other side of the villa and he raced down the road and the sound his engine made became fainter and fainter.

"What did he want?" someone suddenly asked in my ear.

I screamed and slapped whoever had just said that. Skulduggery stumbled back from my slap, clutching his jaw.

"Jeezums, Valkyrie!" he shouted. "Crazy psycho!"

"Well give me a warning when you're going to creep up on me like that!"

Skulduggery groaned and kicked at the dirt for a minute before looked back up at me. "Well? What did he want?"

"…Oh, right. Uh…He just asked if I wanted to…uh, go out somewhere with him tomorrow at six."

"Ah."

"Do I need your approval?"

"What? No, crazy. Why would I care who you date and don't date?"

"Because you're the over-protective brother in this relationship, right?"

He paused for a moment, then nodded and groaned. "Meanie, Valkyrie."

I shrugged and went back to the tree we were in. The rest of the day was normal and fun, and most of us just stayed outside and played around. We played baseball. Everyone cheated. But, really, I'm not all that surprised. Like, Skulduggery was pitching the ball for me, and I gathered my shadows in a bat shape and when the ball came towards me I sent it hurtling out to faaaaaaar left field. Fletcher teleported to the general direction, and it seemed like he wasn't going to catch it, but I saw Skulduggery's hand wave a little, and the ball magically landed in his hands. I glared and growled at Skulduggery, but played fair.

Until he was up to bat.

Ghastly threw the ball, and Skulduggery being Skulduggery, deemed it unworthy since it was too off, and China sent it back to Ghastly. Ghastly then chucked it to Skulduggery, who whacked it way out into Tanith's field. It dropped a little away from her, and Skulduggery took off charging to first and then second base. I acted fast and shot a string of darkness across the grass and it snagged Skulduggery's ankle. He went down ungracefully. It was the funniest thing we had ever seen. Even the ever stoic China was giggling loudly. Skulduggery got up and glared at me, but after that, we continued normally.

SO. Getting to today and _the date_.

It was around 4:30 in the afternoon when I stepped out of the bathroom in my short shorts, smelling all nice and my legs were smooth, since I was forced to shave them. Skulduggery was sitting on the bed.

"Isn't there a rule where your not supposed to shave your legs on the first date?" he mused loudly.

I shrugged and said, "Well, I found this one to be a bit different, so I figured it'd be alright. And when would you have the opportunity to hear that rule?"

He held up a finger like he was going to argue, but put it back down. "Whatever, Valkyrie," he mumbled. "What are you going to do on your _date_?"

"Not sure," I answered truthfully as I slathered my legs with lotion and stuff. I grabbed my jeans and my tank top and disappeared back into the bathroom. I came back out a second later, and Skulduggery scoffed loudly.

"Why shave when you're not even going to…Oh…" He trailed off, thinking the same thing I was thinking.

Alright, now Diary, I'm not an easy girl. No one has been in my pants before, and it'll be my husband or my super-duper long term boyfriend thing that finally gets in there.

"Ouch," I muttered. "It's the first date, so I wouldn't ever even dream of that. And plus, I just don't think he's the right guy."

"Oh really?" he asked. He perked up a bit at this.

I shrugged again and yanked a comb through my hair. "Yeah, actually, I'm just going to end this conversation right now."

He nodded a few times and placed his hands behind his head. "And he'll need my approval," he said, completely ignoring me.

I groaned and threw a hair-clip at him. "Alright, no more about this particular subject, please."

"No guy I know will be able to do…_that_ to you until I say so," he continued

I snarled quietly, but said, "Oh, right, because you're a dictator." I winked at him and smoothed my hair out, and suddenly, it was dry. Skulduggery's hand closed from its previous state of being open and he put it back by his side. I grinned at him and shook my now dry hair around. For the remaining time I just kind of sat around, making sure I didn't turn ugly suddenly or something.

Six rolled around soon, and the doorbell rang a few minutes after the hour. Tanith answered it and let Monsieur Rhett in, grinning and giggling like mad. I was busy hitting Fletcher with a magazine for stealing my phone.

"My, you are violent," was the first thing he said to me. I whipped around and smiled at him gracefully, then turned and hit Fletcher again and got my phone back. "Ready?" Monsieur Rhett asked when I had turned around again. He was wearing regular jeans and a really awesome leather jacket. His hair wasn't ridiculous, like Fletcher's.

I nodded and gave a wave to everyone and stepped out of the house. Monsieur Rhett was right behind me. He graciously helped me into his pretty Rolls Royce. I seriously think the Bentley had some pretty high competition.

"Any thoughts about tonight?" Monsieur Rhett said after a few minutes. We were driving into the heart of the city, so it'd be something awesome and Paris-y what we did.

I shrugged. "You live here, so you pick. Nothing super fancy or anything. I'm in jeans over here."

"Oui, nothing fancy. Paris is like that at points. Have you ever been to the _Louvre_ by any chance?"

I shook my head. "No; I haven't been to Paris or France many times ever. I saw the _Arc de Triomphe _once when I was four. The _Eiffel Tower_ I haven't seen close up yet, but everyone knows what it looks like."

He nodded. "Then you shall become a well-rounded and cultured woman after seeing the _Louvre_, Mademoiselle Cain."

I laughed and punched his arm. "_Please_ call me Valkyrie."

"Only if you call me Alaire."

I shrugged. "I can do that." He took his eyes off the road a minute to shoot a look at me. His smile reached his eyes and he looked _really_ adorable. Monsieur – I mean, Alaire, applied more pressure to the pedal and we sped down the roads all up Paris.

I won't bore you about most of our _Louvre_ tour, but there were just a few really hilarious/awesome highlights. We saw the _Mona Lisa_, and Alaire pointed out that she had no eyebrows.

Mind. Blown.

I always knew there was something strange about her face, but I could never place it. That's the _coolest_ thing I think I've learned on this trip. We also saw about a jillion paintings and sculptures of naked people.

"Seriously, why are they _always_ naked?" I muttered after staring at this painting of these two girls, like, bathing or something.

"Every single painter on Earth was either a pervert, or they _really_ liked the human body. They're both pretty believable. I love how many of the beautiful girls used in these paintings aren't skinny models. They're what models should be."

"Wow," I said. "You're opinionated."

He shrugged. "I just always thought that art imitates life, so why doesn't it go vice versa? Put that in your pipe and smoke it for a bit!"

I chuckled and kicked his leg lightly. "Hey! Pretty sculptures of more naked people?" I pointed off to the right where there was a sign saying where the sculpture exhibit was.

"I _love_ them," Alaire grinned, leading me towards the display. We got there, and he seemed to explode with happiness. "I could marry these sculptures."

"Is there a condition for people who want to sleep with sculptures? You know, there's pedophilia, necrophilia, bestiality, etc."

"Haha," he laughed dryly, "how about 'stonephilia'."

"No, because that's really stupid," I said cheerfully. "After I get back home, I'm totally going to think up a word for that."

He glared and began stalking towards me. I grinned big and stepped backwards and away from him, but my foot snagged on one of the sculptures and I went toppling backwards. I landed on the tiled floor in a heap. I sat up, groaning and rubbing my head. Alaire was right there next to me, making sure I wasn't spontaneously bleeding or something.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered a few times.

I waved my hand away. "It's cool man," I said. "I seem to fall a lot at random times, so no worries. Though we may want to get out of here before some scary French guard comes marching in here to yell at us. What did I trip over anyway?"

"This," he said and gestured to that one sculpture of that chick with the cloth and no arms. Of course, waist up was visible. _Always naked_. "_Aphrodite of Melos_ is the name, I believe."

"Sorry, Aphrodite. Don't go screwing with my love life because I tripped over your pretty statue, okay?" Alaire laughed and hoisted me up. We left the _Louvre_ and at this point, I realized I was hungry and we ate…things. ("You _actually_ eat snails? I thought that was just a stupid stereotype!" "They're not as disgusting as you may think!")

After that, we just walked around in this cute little park. We talked about everything, really. Magic, families, friends, Sanctuaries, those types of things. He told me about how his and Aya's parents were shipped off to the same Russian prison that Baron Vengeous was being kept it for suspicion of treason and trading secrets with other Sanctuaries.

"I apologize for being Johnny Raincloud here," Alaire had said. "What are your parents like? Are they still alive?"

"Yeah, but they're not magical. They have to have it in them, since I have it, but they don't do anything like that. I had to tell them about this other life when they accidentally saw the Echo-Stone version of my uncle that died when I was twelve. Also, seeing the living skeleton as a friend was a bit of a shocker. I couldn't pull off the Halloween gag."

He nodded. "Was it hard to tell them?"

"Not especially. They listened after getting over the initial shock. They know some of the things I do, but I've never given them full details."

"They know you're here in Paris?"

"Yeah, but I haven't explained what's going on or why I'm here. They call it my 'business,' and I feel so terrible for jetting off and leaving them back at home with no way of knowing if I'm alright. Of course, Tanith or someone would go and break the news, but I can't stand the thought of that."

"Well then I'll go ahead and take the bullet for you, alright?" Alaire said and smiled lightly. I bit my lip and slowly leaned in closer. I gripped his leather jacket lapels and pulled him closer and crashed my lips to his. He grunted once, but relaxed and kissed me back. I let go of his lapels and rested my hands on his shoulders, then clasped them together behind his neck. Alaire's hands crept up my back and yanked me closer to him. I eventually pulled back and looked up at him. We both turned to the sound of music, and I instantly could tell what it was.

There was a man and woman standing off the side by a bench. The man was playing the guitar, and the woman was singing. She was singing that love song theme thing from _Lady and the Tramp_, which, is really awesome and adorable. Alaire laughed and dragged me away from the people who laughed good-naturedly.

And so, for a little while longer, we just wandered around this park. Suddenly, Alaire turned to me. I had been walking on a stone wall.

"Valkyrie, excuse me for my bluntness, for I suppose I've always been a little strange and would rather just plain say what I'm thinking, so forgive me for this," he said softly.

I cocked my head to the side and hopped from the wall. "What is it?"

"I'm curious as to where this will leave…us."

Ah. The awkward talk commences, I see. I suppose it didn't turn out as awkward as I thought it would be, but still. I felt so bad.

"I will completely understand if there is _someone_ _else_," Alaire continued.

I gasped but tried to remain calm. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I can tell, Valkyrie," he said while giving a _look_. "There's someone else that you've got those fuzzy feelings for, and I bet I can guess who it is."

"Alright," I said, "then guess. I'll tell you if you're right or wrong."

"I'm going to say it's a one Monsieur Skulduggery Pleasant," Alaire replied smugly.

I glared at him, but finally nodded. "Was it really obvious or something? There are only a few people who know about it."

He shrugged. "Well, I _do_ live in the City of Love, so maybe it's just a natural talent that comes with living here. I had thought at first that maybe if was Monsieur Fletcher Renn, but I figured it had to have been Monsieur Pleasant."

I groaned and kicked the bench near us lightly. "Well, just promise me you didn't think I went out with you to make him jealous or something. I swear that wasn't it. I mean, seriously, I had a great time. My head hurts a bit after tripping over Aphrodite, but other than that, this was too fun."

Alaire smiled at me. "I know you didn't do this to make him jealous. I think you did it unintentionally, however. I could tell from you just talking to me or Monsieur Renn he'd get a little tense."

"I figured he just didn't like you. That tends to happen with him," I said casually.

"Right, I gathered. But anyway, back to my original question: Where does this leave us?"

"Not together as a couple?"

"Ouch."

"You know what I mean."

He nodded and smiled kindly. "I know, I know."

"And really, I'll eventually have to go back to Ireland. Unless you wanted to move back with us, which I doubt you'd want to. But I don't do long-distance. I can tell it'd be complicated."

"Oui, since I must stay with my sister and the Sanctuary, I can't leave."

"Right, so it's mutual, really?"

Alaire nodded then asked if I wanted to go home. It was getting cold and late, I suppose, so I went ahead and said yes. We took a long route and saw the _Arc de Triomphe_. Then we jumped into his beautiful car and sped back to the villa.

We arrived there shortly, and he helped me out of the car.

"I really did have a really awesome time tonight," I reiterated again. "It was probably the best date I've ever been on."

He scratched his neck and smiled softly. "Everything done in Paris is automatically much better."

"Oh, geez, city love!"

He chuckled a few times, yet it faded quickly. "May I…go ahead and just kiss you again?" I looked up at him wide-eyed and biting my lip, but I nodded anyway and leaned in closer to him.

Alaire's hands gripped my face tenderly and he kissed me on the lips. I tilted my head, but he pulled away quickly.

"I wouldn't want to get too attached," he merely said. I whimpered and gave him another peck, then dashed back into the house. Before closing the door, I winked at him. He waved and climbed back into his sleek car and drove off swiftly.

I shut the door softly and climbed the stairs. The clock on the wall it was around eleven at night. I could tell that everyone was sleep, all except one person. The light in mine and Skulduggery's room was still on. I poked at the door a few times, then tentatively opened it. Skulduggery was seated in one of the armchairs by the bed.

"Oh, you're back," he merely said.

"You were so watching from the front window, weren't you?"

He mocked fake astonishment. "I can't believe you would even _suggest _such a thing-"

"Skulduggery!"

"Alright, I was."

I growled at him and threw a pack of gum at him. I ran into the bathroom and shut and locked the door so he couldn't get in.

"Valkyrie, I hate you!" he shouted through the wood.

"Thank you, I love you too." MORE THAN YOU KNOOOOW.

He chuckled and stopped jiggling the doorknob. I stepped out, but was instantly tackled by Skulduggery. We both landed on the soft carpet, him on top of me.

"How was it?" he asked as casually as someone could while laying on someone else.

"It was definitely a lot of fun," I replied curtly.

He nodded and grunted once. "Marvelous. Did you get attacked by anything?"

"Not if you count me tripping over that pretty statue that has no arms."

"What, you mean _Aphrodite of Melos_? Geez, Valkyrie, I knew you were dumb, but you should have known _that_."

I stuck my tongue out at him and pushed him off of me. I stood up and grabbed my pajamas and declared I was going to shower, and that if he screwed with my clothes I'd kill him. He laughed and went to sit back down in the armchair.

When I got out of the bathroom a bit later, he was meditating. I figured it was a good opportunity to get caught up with you and tell you about my _day_.

And what a day it was.

Man, I seriously bet Aphrodite's up there with all those Greek Gods and Goddesses just cackling evilly. She probably can't wait to get her hands on my love life so she can just crap all over it.

Just watch, Diary.

I bet that by the time I get back to Ireland, something major will have happened involving me and Skulduggery. I'll give you a quarter if it turns out to be wrong, alright? Yeah, I thought so.

My, I should probably stop talking to you like you're a real person.

~Valkyrie

* * *

AAAH. SO MANY WORDS.

But I hoped you liked it and thanks for reading! Sorry for any mistakes! :D


	12. Entry 12

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD

YOU ARE ALL OFFICIALLY MY BEST FRIENDS. EVER.

Sorry.

Just WOW guys. WOW. I really appreciate all of your great words and constructive criticism. It makes me so happy and bubbly that you all read the stuff I throw out here on a limb and actually like it! Danke shön for the 100 reviews!

Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing! :D

* * *

**Entry #12: Written July 6th**

Dear Diary,

Guess where I've been for the past few weeks!

Just guess.

I'm sure you won't guess.

(For the record, I haven't forgotten about you. I haven't just not written for the past two weeks. See the difference between the previous entry and now?)

Have you gotten a guess yet, Diary?

Well, actually, you shouldn't really be guessing anything, because then I'd have to get my head checked out (but I may do that no matter what).

But in all seriousness, Diary, I have been stuck in a dirty and moldy cell with only Fletcher for company.

He and I were stolen away by the Nottinghams – who will make an appearance, finally – and they've been keeping us locked up tight and chained to a wall.

Yep.

Ain't that _swell_?

So, in order to catalog my adventure with the Nottingham family, I'll split the entries up. I'm thinking maybe around four to five entries should be enough to tell what happened to me.

I'll go ahead and draw a line to signal that the day is changing, alright, Diary?

_**

* * *

**_

June 23rd

I woke up, which wasn't a great surprise. What _was_ a surprise was that Tanith was sitting in the armchair that Skulduggery usually was in. She was being creepy and weird and sharpening her sword.

"Hey there, Tanith," I said slowly as I was sitting up. "What might you be doing in here?"

"I want to know how your date went!" she screamed. I groaned and kicked the covers away. Tanith abandoned her sword and bounced next to me, shaking my shoulders and asking a jillion questions a minute.

"Don't get your panties in a twist!" I shouted and smacked her shoulder. Tanith grinned like a toddler and sat back. "Okay, thank you." So for the next hour or so, I explained every little detail about what happened. Tanith thought the snail eating thing was gross too, so I'm not alone. After that, I got up and showered and headed downstairs. I greeted everyone normally. Ghastly suggested we all go out today, since they haven't really been getting out of the house lately. Everyone agreed and they all piled into the car and Skulduggery drove us down to the heart of the city. We passed the _Louvre_. I felt guilty. We parked at a pretty little park and everyone got out and just sort of wandered around. Skulduggery and I walked together. We passed by an old woman, a middle-aged man, and a teenager girl all sitting on a bench.

I realize now I should have gone crazy and killed them all RIGHT THERE.

But _no_, because I'm not psychic. Dang. Where's Finbar when you need him?

Anyway, the teenager dropped the ball she was playing with in the air and it rolled over to me. The old woman got up to fetch the ball.

"Merci," she said graciously with a gleam in her eyes. I nodded slowly, a little creeped out, and turned to walk away. "Do you speak English?" the old woman asked suddenly.

I turned back to her and nodded. "I do. Can I help you with something?"

"Well," she said, "my son over there and his daughter are visiting from Scotland and they wanted to know about a good place to stay. I have work to attend to, so they can't stay with me. Do you have any suggestions?"

Uh.

"Well, I'm Irish, and not from here, so I'm afraid I can't give you any places or ideas. Sorry."

"Oh, I see. Well, thank you though." She thrust out her hand for me to shake, and I took it and shook it. "Lovely meeting you."

I nodded. "…Same." She yanked away and went to rejoin her family. The teenager reclaimed her ball and was tossing it up in the air. It went a little too far up in the air, and her arm reached up and I could have _sworn_ that it grew to catch the ball. Her father beside her gave her a swift slap to the leg. She cringed at the stinging feeling and got up quickly and rushed through the park.

"What did they want?" Skulduggery asked me once I had rejoined them all.

"The old lady wanted a place for her son and granddaughter to stay…or something." I shrugged.

"Did anyone notice the girl's arm stretch up abnormally high?" Ghastly questioned. He was met with a bunch of agreements, and Skulduggery said, "It didn't seem natural; I think they might be magical. Maybe she's an adept and has elasticity powers."

We all nodded at this theory, but when we snuck back to the bench they were at, but they were all gone.

Everyone groaned, but instead of moping about it, we went wandering around more. We mostly stuck to the park, but then when Fletcher got hungry, we _of course_ had to go eat something all French-y. (Ew. Snails.)

Okay, I'm tired right now, so I'm just going to fast forward to that night, at midnight. Everyone was asleep, except Skulduggery. He was talking to Gordon downstairs when all of a sudden there was this beeping noise. He went to investigate and found it coming from my bag in our room. He found it was the little ear piece thing that the Sanctuary gave to us. He poked it and there was a huge sigh coming from the piece.

"Finally!" Aya Robin began. (This all what Skulduggery said happened. Trust his word if you dare.) "Who's answering this?"

"Skulduggery," he replied.

"Marvelous, bonjour, now get everyone up and get them to meet in one place. We've got a lot of trouble going on right now." Skulduggery told me after this, that he immediately crossed the room and shook me awake. I groaned and tried punching him, but he grabbed my arm before I could do anything.

"Aya's calling," he whispered. "There's something happening. Get dressed and help me wake everyone up." He then dashed out of the room and banged on everyone's doors, waking them all up.

We all assembled in the hallway after that. Skulduggery was standing in the middle of our little circle and he mashed the little ear piece and Aya's voice was heard, shouting in French.

"Good, you're back," she said absentmindedly. There were some clicking sounds and then she directed her full attention to us. "Alright. There have been some gargoyle sightings spotted by our Eiffel Tower. There are five of them; they've formed into their pentagon shape, if you never noticed that. Madame Gabs believes there's something major going on there."

"You need us there?" Tanith asked, getting that gleam in her eyes when she knows she gets to fight something.

"We need everyone we can get," Aya replied. "Madame Gabs wants this done with, since we're running out of excuses to make to the general public; this is terrible."

"We'll be there ASAP," Fletcher said and disappeared. We heard footsteps on the floor above, and he returned just a few minutes later. He was carrying an armful of our weapons. Tanith grabbed her sword before anyone's eyes got poked out, and he handed Skulduggery and I are guns.

"Teleporting would just be easier, no?" China asked, looking absolutely perfect for someone who was just woken up fifteen minutes ago. She was dressed in her "battle outfit," as she called it, and it was just some cotton pants and a short sleeved red shirt. Oooh! Watch out for China Sorrow's fashion sense!

But anyway, Fletcher nodded from side to side and directed us all to link hands. I gripped Ghastly's forearm, and I felt cold and slender fingers intertwine with my other hand. I looked at Skulduggery, who gave me this strange look, like he hated having to go and do this. I blinked and suddenly, we were right at the Eiffel Tower's base. Tanith stumbled when Fletcher fell back against her, clutching his head.

"Are you alright?" she asked him repeatedly.

He nodded uneasily. "Yeah, I just don't think I've ever teleported that many people at once before."

All of us wheeled around to find the source of this sudden cackle. There were five Sand Men, all stalking closer up to us, like we were mice and they were cats. One of them stuck out their hand and did that motion thing.

"Mademoiselle Cain!" Monsieur Rhett (yeah, we went back to the formal titles, here) called out. He was standing by the very base of the steel beast, glaring in awe at the gargoyles. "I'm glad you could make it!"

China ushered for us to go and follow him as she took over the Sand Men. We reluctantly left her, and I wasn't sure she'd be alright with these guys. But, pretty much out of nowhere, Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar came running up to us, shoving past us. They beckoned us forward and kept running. Each of us sprinted after them, and Monsieur Rhett stopped us briefly to let us know what was going on.

"We don't have many ways to get up there to the observation deck," he said, "since the elevators have been disabled, and the stairs don't get us up there, and they take too long."

"We got this," I answered, swinging an arm around his and Madame Gabs's neck. I concentrated and all my shadows engulfed the three of us quickly, and we appeared right on the deck. Poor Fletcher appeared beside us with Tanith, Ghastly, Skulduggery, and Monsieur Spar.

"Madame!" Monsieur Spar shouted to Madame Gabs. "Are you alright? She took you without warning; I couldn't stop her."

She waved her hand in dismiss, but was suddenly knocked forward by something. We all turned to see the teenage girl from the park. Her incredibly long arm retracted to its normal size and she placed it by her side.

"I was right!" Skulduggery said excitedly. "Elasticity!"

The girl kept her lips straight and her eyes hard. "Congrats," she said dryly, sticking her arms out and grabbed Tanith's leg and swinging her upside down. There was suddenly a loud crashing noise and footsteps clunking on the metal platform. The teenager's father stepped around the corner, and we all gasped.

His arms were made of thick, dirty, rusty chains.

He raised his arms and smashed them onto the metal, causing a small vibration to rip through the tower and shook us all. Suddenly, four arrows came whizzing into view from practically nowhere. Everyone was able to dodge just in time, but Ghastly got slightly nicked by one. After that, the nice old lady that asked me those questions appeared next to the chain man.

"I knew you would be the ones we wanted," she started out. "My granddaughter's little ball gave off our signal."

"How creative."

"Thanks."

"What did the signal do?" Tanith groaned. She was being held by the girl.

"It alerted us that you lot had had contact with our beautiful gargoyles. Anyone who associates with them must be killed."

"Are you the Nottingham family?" Monsieur Rhett demanded just cutting the witty banter crap and getting straight to the point.

The man nodded and spoke in a deep voice. "We indeed are. I am Gautier, my daughter is Colette, and my mother is Neva."

"So you're actually all related?" I asked, remembering what _Neva_ had said in the park earlier today. They all nodded.

"So," Neva said, throwing her hand in the air and conjuring a bow and arrow, "let's get started."

Wow. Murderous grandmas and psychotic teenagers. Awesome.

Immediately, Sand Men appeared in front of us. They were all huge and bulky and had fists made of freaking iron, I swear. Everyone instantly gave a rush to them all. Tanith had broken free from Colette's grip and was trying to slice her with her sword, but Colette kept dodging and slinking around Tanith with her ability.

We all fought for a while after that. Everyone was screaming and shouting as they all got wounded. Skulduggery was (I believe) insulting everyone in French, while Monsieur Rhett had taken up Latin and was just screeching phrases. There were punches and kicks and I think I got hit with a few friendly fires before suddenly, we all stopped. Neva had taken to shooting the metal walls with arrows that were covered in flames.

"Everyone, QUIET!" Neva shouted. We immediately all shut up (surprisingly) and glared at her and her family. "Merci," she said. "Fighting and shouting in various languages will get us nowhere. Just plain fighting, however, will."

We all paused, but Tanith was the first to understand, and she went lunging at Sand Man #4 with her sword. They began fighting over towards the other side of the observation deck thing. Fletcher and Ghastly had taken on Sand Man #6, who by the way was absolutely gigantic in height. (See my avoidance at a TWSS joke?) Monsieur Rhett and Madame Gabs had taken on Colette, who seemed to be kicking both of their butts. Monsieur Spar took on Gautier. They both seemed about equal matched in strength, though Monsieur Spar had more tricks up his sleeves.

So, this left Skulduggery and I with Neva. We both took a cautionary step back, and suddenly, her hand shot up in the air. Her ~magical bow and arrow~ appeared in her hand, and she shot a regular looking arrow into the metal grate keeping people from jumping off the tower (HA ARGH), yet, the grate exploded. It left a hole where she took a leap up into it. For a grandma, she was _really_ fit. Skulduggery boosted himself up, and I climbed up my shadows to get to the top. Neva was shouting up at her pet gargoyles in a strange language. Skulduggery took the opportunity to play dirty and give her a kick in the back of the knees.

Her legs buckled and she went toppling over. But she tucked into a ball and rolled back onto her feet, shooting a few arrows at us. They kept magically appearing, which was awesome and still really bad at the same time. Skulduggery conjured a fireball in his hands and launched it at her. I gave a shove with my arms and sent a few sharp shadows out to her, but she somehow dodged everything. Skulduggery sidestepped to avoid an arrow, but he cried in pain when one lodged itself in his ribcage.

I grimaced and created a wall of darkness in front of him to prevent any of the arrows Neva had just shot. She growled and whirled on me, taking quick and skilled aim at my face. I ducked away, and ended up taking a backwards step.

Bad move on my part.

Now, Diary, you may not know this, but the metal grate on the deck is sort of rounded at the top, so when I got closer and closer, my footing kept getting worse and worse. My step back began tipping me over a bit, and I took an instinctive step back again. FAIL.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery shouted dramatically, gripping an arrow that had stuck itself in his right thigh bone. He thrust his hands out, and I felt a powerful breeze push me back up onto safer ground, but something sharp and painful pierced my left hand. I looked down and an arrow was stuck halfway through my hand. Two more arrows shot through my leg and one grazed my right torso. I cried in pain and took another step backwards. A hand suddenly gripped my coat and pulled me up slightly. It was Neva, and she looked terribly nasty.

"I'm going to push you off this tower," she said simply.

I frowned. "That's a little dramatic, don't you think? I don't think that's entirely necessary."

She threw head back and laughed noisily. "Getting rid of you would make things so much easier on my family and I," she whispered.

"Well, I hate your family and you, so I'd rather not die. I'm sure if I did, my friends would make your life a living hell. They WILL kill you."

"Valkyrie!" Fletcher screamed.

"Val!" Tanith roared.

"Valkyrie!!" Monsieur Rhett yelled. "Stay there!"

"I'm not going anywhere," I mumbled and craned my neck to see Madame Gabs, Monsieur Spar, Monsieur Rhett, Fletcher, Ghastly, and Tanith all staring up at me. A few of them were covered in sand. Colette and Gautier were laying unconscious, leaning against the wall.

"Well, you'll be falling to the ground beneath at 9.8 meters per second, if you count that as going somewhere."

I growled and felt the grip on my coat loosen ever so slightly.

"If any of you come near me," Neva directed to everyone around us, "I'll drop her in an instant. Remain where you are if you want her to live, but I'm not guaranteeing it. I really don't like her."

"Wow, that's nice," Fletcher said cynically. I giggled quietly. Neva's grasp loosened. I began to internally panic.

But suddenly, one of the gargoyles gave a terrible screech. Neva turned and said something quietly, then turned back to me.

"Seems you'll be spared for a bit," she grumbled lowly so no one could hear. "But we don't know how long."

She seemed to notice my eyes widen ever so slightly, because she grinned evilly and clutched my coat tighter once, hoisted me up onto steadier parts of the grate. I think everyone gave a sigh of relief, but I knew that she wasn't going to give up easy.

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery cried out. He took a step forward, and I shouted at him to stop and not move, but Neva had seen what he had done.

"I said: Don't. Come. Any. Closer!" she screamed annoyingly high. Her hands reached out and gave me a shove. I lurched backward, flailing my arms around, trying to balance, but it was a lost cause.

My foot slipped on the grate.

There were (I counted) seven screams/shouts as I completely lost my footing and tumbling off the monument.

I did a few back flips in the air.

I didn't scream.

My body fanned out, and my hair was flying everywhere. The wind whistled loudly in my ears and burned my face and eyes. I continued to hear shouts from the top of the tower. I also heard a loud whooshing sound closing in on me, but I just kind of ignored it. I vaguely remember stupidly thinking it was, like, the Devil coming after me, but as it turned out, it was _not_ the Devil, but in fact, it was a gargoyle.

Its wings kept flapping, keeping him suspended in the air. He had flown down below me, waiting to catch me obviously. I don't know why they kept me alive, but it works for me. My body hit the scaly, disgusting gargoyle with tons of momentum. I heard something crack, and then, I blacked out.

So yeah, I'll say it: I was pushed off the Eiffel Tower. I was almost crushed. If a penny could kill a person from being dropped to that height, what would happen to a person dropped from there? I'd be a Valcake, and I don't want that.

But are you excited for the next part, Diary? I know I AM. But, my hand hurts, and I'm tired, so you'll find out what happens next, Diary.

~Valkyrie

* * *

…Yep. I've had the part where she gets pushed off a building in my mind for a long time, and I'm glad I finally got to get it up there.

**And just saying, any similarities between **Phoenix Fanatic's "Diary of a Lovesick Mutant" **are completely unintentional. There are a few similar aspects in both of these stories, but they were not done on purpose. **

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! Once again, thank you all for the kind reviews! :D


	13. Entry 13

ARGH. I came up with a super awesome story idea! I just want to write it!

* * *

**Entry #13: Written July 7th**

Dear Diary,

Good morning, sunshine! I just woke up, and I don't feel like getting out of bed, so let's just get started on my kidnapping adventure, okay?

Right.

The last thing I said was that a gargoyle caught me, and that I had blacked out. Yeah, great way to start this. But, when I woke up, I thought that was I blind. As my eyes adjusted, I found I was in a cell with four other people.

"You do the waking?" a man asked with a thick Italian accent.

"Like, omg, I thought she'd, like, never wake up," a snotty sounding girl mumbled.

"Valkyrie!" a voice shouted, and this person I could actually identify. I felt a hand touch my shoulder gently, and I turned and faced _Fletcher's_ relieved face.

"Fletcher, thank God!" I said joyfully, hugging him tightly. "How did you get here?"

"As you were falling," he explained, "everyone was screaming and yelling, and I had hung back to make sure that Gautier and Colette didn't wake up. However, they did and Gautier thrust his chains all around me and Colette punched my lights out."

I noticed a black eye forming on his right side of his face. There were black and blue bruises on his arms; I guessed he had them on his chest too. I moved, but I felt something click within me and I groaned.

"What? What happened?" an American male voice asked.

"Just a few ribs snapping around in place," I mumbled, poking at my stomach. I could barely see some bones protruding from my chest. "How come I'm not in excruciating pain?"

Fletcher shrugged. "Not sure," he answered. "You didn't even flinch when we yanked those arrows out of you, and now your ribs are popping out, and I don't really think someone would be happy-go-lucky about that."

"Right. Maybe this cage is bound with something…Did you say you yanked out the arrows in me?" Fletcher nodded. I smiled and threw my arms around him, hugging him close. "You're awesome, Fletcher!"

He laughed and hugged me back.

"So, who are we in a cell with?" I turned to the other people. A tan man was standing up against the cell bars, his arms crossed. His pants and shirt were bright white, and they were smudged with dirt. He had floppy blond hair. Another man was sitting close to me. His coat was green, as were his pants. He was tanner than the other man, but with dark brown hair. The snotty girl was leaned up against the cage, twirling her hair in one hand and examining her finger nails. She had _tight_ jeans on, with a teal colored long sleeved shirt on. Her hair was blond, with black streaks woven in it.

"I'm, like, Amity Aiyanna," the girl said.

"I be Dante Carlo," the Italian man said.

"And I'm Ulysses Ace," the American man said.

(These guys aren't really important; they end up dying anyway.)

I waved. "Valkyrie Cain."

"How do you, like, think we should, like, get out of here?" Amity wondered, chewing gum I didn't even know she had incredibly loudly.

"Not really sure," Fletcher replied. "It'd probably be best to just sit around for a while until someone wanders around, taunting us. Then we'll launch some sort of attack."

I nodded. "Ah, Fletcher, you learn from the best."

He glared at me and stuck out his tongue but remained silent. He leaned against the wall next to me, and no one said anything for I suppose half and hour.

Aaaand that's when things kind of sucked.

We heard incessant clomping, like people walking down wooden steps in high heels. Huge torches that hung from the stone walls were lit up suddenly from a sudden snap of someone's fingers. The clomping continued, and it grew louder and louder. Suddenly, Neva rounded the corner and peered into our cell. She sneered at Fletcher and I, and then reached for the keys that are on the opposite wall from the cage. (Who puts the _keys_ there?) She clicked the locked open and the door swung open.

"Don't go anywhere," she directed us. She reached her hands out and gestured to the three others. "Follow me if you want all evil in this world to rise up and kill everything you've ever loved and cherished."

She just said that like it was the most casual thing ever. Who talks like that? Seriously, these guys are freaks.

The three other people marched out of the cell. Neva pushed them in front of her and she hung the keys back up. They began walking forward and soon, they all disappeared. There was another snap of the fingers and the torches snuffed out, submerging Fletcher and I in darkness. I felt his arm creep around my shoulders and it dragged me closer into an embrace.

"I wonder what Skulduggery's thinking right now…" he whispered.

I shrugged. "Probably how handsome he is."

"That's what _you_ say."

"I didn't mean it like that!"

Fletcher laughed once and hugged me closer. We stayed like that for a long time and didn't move. Only when we heard the terrible shrieks of our new acquaintances did Fletcher move around. He instantly jumped up and rattled the bars of the cell. He growled as a long and stretched hand traveled around the hallway. A body began following the hand, doing cartwheel after cartwheel down the small corridor. Colette landed perfectly and glared at us.

"Oui, we killed them," she simply said. "And if you don't do as we all say, then you'll be killed. Just letting you know."

"But _why_ did you kill them?" Fletcher demanded. "Did you gain anything from it?"

"It was a sacrifice! Now stop asking questions!" she shouted, reaching her stretchy hand through the bars and slapping Fletcher across the face. "DAD!" she screamed to the ceiling. "We need two doses!"

"Doses of what?" Fletcher said, rubbing his slapped face.

"Shut. Up." Colette gave another slap to him on the other side, and I instantly stepped forward, yanking on her hand and pulling it forward. She winced and cried out in help, and before I knew it, something giant and metal slammed into my leg that was sticking out of the cell. Gautier had appeared here with his chain arms and had hit me as hard as he could. His hand suddenly grabbed my wrist and jammed a needle into it. I shouted in shock, and less in pain. Fletcher did the same, as Colette had stabbed the needle through his forearm. They pushed on the injections and whatever fluid was released into both of our blood streams. And again, for the second day in a row, I passed out.

I don't know how long I was out, but when I awoke again, my hands were suspended by heavy chains. I was bolted to the wall, and Fletcher was gone. I couldn't tell if he was in a cell near mine, but I knew he wasn't in this one. Naturally he's fine _now_ but when all this was happening, Mr. Renn's health was failing quite badly.

I shall explain more tomorrow. For now, adieu.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes! :D

**Hey! I've got a poll on my profile, so go vote on it! It ends on May the 23****rd****!**


	14. Entry 14

**Entry #14: Written July 8th**

Dear Diary,

Alright. I left off saying that I was stuck in my own cell, and that Fletcher was pretty much half-dead. I was also chained to the wall. Ha, awesome.

I'm not exactly sure how long I was sitting there, since time seems to go by so incredibly slow when you're just sitting there with nothing to do. I could vaguely hear some opera music coming from above, but it kept starting up and then turning off over and over again. I thought I heard footsteps wander by a few times, but no one stopped to sneer or leer at me or anything. I _know_, however, that I heard a strangled sounding moan coming from a way off, and it really sounded like Fletcher when Tanith kicked him in the crotch by accident one time. (As I found out later, it really _was_ Fletcher making that terrible noise.)

A whole lot more time elapsed during this part, but since nothing happened, I'm just going to skip ahead a bit. I estimate that I was sitting there for a good four hours before there were some footsteps coming my way. I frowned as someone snapped their fingers, and the torches were instantly lit. A man came into my view, and he was whistling happily as he reached for the keys to unlock my cell.

"Bonjour," he said cheerfully. At this he began blabbering on in French, and I had no clue what he was saying. (See, the way I know what's being said previously is that I always ask Skulduggery or China what whoever said.) I picked up a few familiar phrases, but nothing really stuck out, except for the phrase, _"Vous vierge stupide."_ They pretty much spat it out in complete disgust.

It's, "You stupid (blank)," I know that. Yet I don't know the other word. It sounds vaguely familiar, but as this guy was yammering on and on, there were more footsteps. I looked up and watched as Neva dragged poor Fletcher in. His face was tired and pale and his body was really limp. Neva mumbled something to the guy and he cheerfully chained Fletcher up to the cuffs that were beside me. He groaned loudly and kicked his legs a little bit. The man left swiftly, while Neva closed the iron door and locked it up tight. She hung the keys on the hook on the wall just out of reach and gave a smile at us.

When she left, I craned my neck to see Fletcher, and I said, "Hey, buddy, are you alright?"

"They said that they accidentally gave me too much of that sedating stuff," he sputtered out. "My body keeps temporarily shutting down, which really hurts."

"How are you still alive then?"

"This whole place is a constant regenerator that takes pain away and keeps people alive for as long as the evil guys want."

"How did you come across all this information?" I asked softly.

"I was just curious, and plus they explained it to me, since I was shouting at them to tell me why I was half-dead."

"You're not going to _stay_ half-dead, right? You'll be alright later!"

He shrugged as best as he could. "They said it'd wear off, but they're not sure when. If it doesn't wear off in time, my body could just completely reject me and hate me and kill me."

"But what if Neva and all them want you alive? Fletcher, you're not helping! You're scaring me to death!"

No response.

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT HE HAD DIED.

Now of course, he didn't, and he's alive _now_, but right when this was taking place I began just freaking out. I didn't want to believe that Fletcher was dead, and I tried my best to get closer to him, but I couldn't get close enough to hear any breathing. I kicked my leg out and poked his knee, which earned a grunt and a groan from him. I apologized quietly for bugging him, and said that I was sorry, but he didn't respond. Figures.

Anyway, at around this time, I began entering what I like to call "Finding The Main Motive So I Can Kick Butts Later Time." During this, I begin listing off all the reasonable explanations for why I would be captured.

Reason #1: The Nottinghams had heard about us before, and just want to kill us because we're good (sort of), and they're bad.

Reason #2: The Nottinghams just hate us.

Reason #3: Like Neva said, we've had contact with their gargoyles, so we have to be killed for fear of their secret getting out.

Reason #4: Typical Good VS. Evil fights.

Reason #5: Something entirely different that makes no sense and that no one would ever think of without other clues.

I'd put my money on #2 and #3. We tend to get into these situations a lot, and we're a rather mean group of people who gets yelled at a lot. These guys could just really have a strong and sudden dislike for us, and I wouldn't put that past happening. #5 also seems rather probable, but I'm not sure. There are those times when Skulduggery would just be sitting there and somehow work out what's happening and why it's happening. (I'd bet he'd figure out a way to divide by zero.)

Oh, crap.

As I'm writing this, I hear steps coming from the hallway, and I'm almost positive it's Skulduggery. I'll just end with the fact that after my reasoning ended, I fell asleep. And also that Skulduggery turns into Indiana Jones in the next installment of my kidnapping experience.

Ha, I see that look on your face, Diary. You can't _wait_ to see what happens.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Sorry it's short, but I didn't really plan for a lot to happen. I don't want to overload the chapters. Next chapter should be fun…

Sorry for mistakes and thanks for reading! :D

**Hey! I've got a poll on my profile, so go vote on it! It ends on May the 23****rd****!**


	15. Entry 15

**Entry #14: Written July 9th**

Dear Diary,

Alright. When I last saw you Diary, I was talking about my reasoning and what I thought was the motive for capturing Fletcher and I. And also that Skulduggery was Indiana Jones, but that'll come in later.

So, picking up where I left off, I had fallen asleep. When I awoke, there was something covering my mouth. It was a cloth, like someone had gagged me as I was sleeping. I don't know about you, but that's _exactly_ how I want to wake up in the mornings! I groaned and felt a sharp slap to my leg. My eyes snapped open and I glared at whoever did that.

There was Gautier, standing above me, holding a bright lantern, his arms totally normal. I admit the lantern almost blinded me since I hadn't been out and seen actual, good light in a long time.

I tried to speak, but the cloth made it so I couldn't. I felt someone struggle beside me, and I turned and saw that Fletcher was beside me, a gag in his mouth as well.

"What?" Gautier smirked. "Can't speak? I _wonder_ why!" He suddenly bent down and I watched as his arms instantly transformed into those long chains. It started at his hands and then traveled up his arm. His fingers and hand and wrist all turn a rusted color, forming chains, interlocking with each other. His forearm and upper arm did the same and both limbs soon formed the chains. My eyes widened as I watched him swing his arm in a violent arc, slapping up against the stones of the wall. After this _he_ began rambling in French, seeming to complaining about everything, and yelling at us. Fletcher and I just stared at each other.

After he was done ranting though, he stood still and allowed his arms to go back to normal. It started at his upper arms this time, and skin and muscle slowly coiled down the chains, consuming them, until a regular arm was left. Gautier bent down to remove out gags. I debated biting him, but decided against it, since I'd probably be killed. Now wouldn't that suck?

He removed Fletcher's gag as well. Fletcher stuck out his tongue right as Gautier turned the corner and spat onto the floor.

"Gross!" he exclaimed. "I definitely think someone, like, peed on that thing."

I grimaced and kicked his leg. "You are disgusting, Fletcher."

He shrugged. "I'm _just_ saying," he replied, settling up against the wall. He began tapping his foot, and this position and situation lasted for a few hours, I'd say.

After a while, my head whipped up and I listened closely, trying to drown out Fletcher's obnoxious tapping. It was footsteps. Light and quiet ones, but they still echoed off the stone walls.

"Do you hear that?" I asked softly to Fletcher.

"I don't hear anything," he said.

"Because you're not trying to!"

He grunted and stopped tapping, then sat quietly, cocking his head from left to right.

"Nope, still nothing," he said gruffly.

"Well I hear something. Quiet; I want to figure out who or what it is before they come and kill us."

"I don't think they'll kill us. Maybe it's a goat."

"Why would there be a goat in here?"

"The gargoyles eat goats."

"I think you're going insane."

"Maybe a bit."

I sighed and rattled my chains loudly, and I suddenly heard the footsteps pick up their pace. I rattled them louder, and Fletcher joined in a minute later.

"SHUT UP," came Gautier's voice from above. "Rattle them again and you'll be killed!!"

I rolled my eyes in disgust, and then took to tapping my feet. Fletcher joined in again, and it sounded like we had started a morbid band thing. The footsteps grew louder and louder, until I noticed something pass by our cell/cage thing.

I rattled my chains quietly. "Hey there," I said, getting the figure's attention. The footsteps instantly stopped, and I heard someone mutter something in French, and it was in such a lovely, _velvety _voice, I couldn't help but smile. "'Bout time you got here, Skulduggery," I grinned.

"We worked as fast as we could," he replied urgently. There was a small static-y sound, and then I heard Monsieur Rhett's small French voice. "He says hi," Skulduggery said suddenly. "And that the keys should be on the wall right over here." He turned around and felt on the stones until he gave a shout of triumph. "It's a good thing these guys are into torture, and kept the keys _just_ out of your reach." (_That's_ why they kept them there!)

Fletcher groaned. "Don't remind me," he whimpered and rubbed the incision on his hand where they had cut him for trying to get to the keys. He had told me about it earlier. Skulduggery grunted in sympathy, found the right key, and pushed open the door quietly. He reached into his overcoat and revealed a cloaking sphere. He activated it and we were enveloped in invisible-goodness. He was pressing little buttons on it, without stepping into the cage, and the sphere shook in his hand, but remained quiet after that. He took a step inside and grunted.

"That was a strange tingling feeling I don't wish to experience again," he mumbled and bent down next to me. He jammed the key in the lock in my cuffs and it was released and I jumped up. I watched as Skulduggery undid Fletcher's binds and I frowned and breathed deeply.

"Skul…What's wrong with your hand?" I asked tentatively.

"Hm?" he mumbled, staring at his hands. "Nothing is wrong with them." I stepped forward and grabbed his hand and pulled up the sleeve of his coat and suit jacket. I gasped and poked him. A sound rumbled in his throat as he released what I was staring at. I began tearing away at his disguise, until the only thing standing before me was a clean-shaven, hard-eyed, pale man wearing a too-tight suit in places.

Skulduggery Pleasant had somehow turned into a man.

"Oh my God, Skulduggery," I whispered, poking at his face and hair. He was holding his hat in his hand and staring at his hands without the gloves.

"This is…" he started, then stopped.

"This is really amazing and all," Fletcher interrupted, "but should we be getting out of here? Like, maybe now?"

Skulduggery remained silent, scratching at his head, playing with the mass of black hair that had appeared there. "Uh…I guess so. It would be best, I suppose…"

"Are you alright?" I asked, stepping closer to him. I groaned quietly in frustration as footsteps echoed around in the hallways near us.

"Yeah," Skulduggery replied, "this is just a strange feeling. But I think…Um…Valkyrie, Fletcher, it would be best if you didn't come with me; I only realized now."

"WHAT!" Fletcher shouted before one of us could get our hands on his mouth. "I am _not _going to be all bound up again! I can't stand my arms above my head anymore."

"But it would be better this way," Skulduggery pleaded. "If we keep you here, and all those bad guys come looking for you, we'll be more secretive, since you'd still be there. Someone would without a doubt come back to get you, don't worry about that, but I'd run off and leave you two here."

"Don't you pull an Indiana Jones on us!" I shouted.

"Gee, thanks, pal," Fletcher grumbled, sitting back down and cuffing himself again begrudgingly. He only got one hand through one bind, and I did the other one.

"Will you be alright down here for a bit longer?" Skulduggery whispered to me.

I nodded. "We've made it this long," I replied. "As long as we all get out of here again." He gave an awkward laugh, and _then_, without warning, he gripped my face and kissed me. He had soft lips and breath that was like green apples, which was how he smelled sometimes. A hand left my face and curled around my hips, while the other slid down to the back of my neck. I hesitantly reached up and gripped his jacket lapels, pulling at them, bringing him closer. But then, his grip loosened and he pulled away hesitantly, waiting to figure out my reaction.

"_Ahem_," Fletcher grumbled impatiently, looking away and at the ceiling, so as not to stare at us. I blushed furiously and laughed once and turned to flop down next to Fletcher. Skulduggery awkwardly helped me into my cuffs. He took a deep breath, gave me a soft kiss on the lips again and stood up. He grabbed his disguise and asked if he could give it to us, so we stuck it behind our bodies.

"I'll be right back with that Lost Ark, okay?" he said and gave a salute, shutting the door, placing the keys back up on the hook on the wall, bending down to grab the cloaking sphere, and darting off.

"What about Indiana Jones?" Fletcher asked after a while.

"There's that part in the first one where he finds Marion, and he almost rescues her, but instead keeps her there for the evil guys. That's pretty much what Skulduggery just did."

Fletcher nodded and laughed a little, and then began tapping his feet again. After a few minutes, he said, "I was afraid I'd have to tell you kids to keep your clothes on."

"Uh, what?"

"Seriously, that kiss couldn't have been any more sexual," Fletcher replied, smirking. "And it was so sudden!"

I scoffed. "Please, that was just a little 'goodbye, I'll see you again in a bit' kiss. Don't think anymore about it."

"That second one was," he said, "but that first one got too heated for _just friends_, don't you think?"

I groaned and squirmed, trying to avoid answer, but he nudged my knee hard. "Alright, fine! Maybe it _wasn't_ something casual, but it could have been one of those snap decisions! Perhaps his instinct over and he just had to do it."

"That's what she said."

I glared. "No. That wasn't funny."

"It was a little bit funny," Fletcher said, trying to redeem himself.

"If we were under better circumstances, I would have laughed. But since I'm tired and my arms hurt, I don't care for your dirty jokes right now."

He shrugged. "Fair enough," he said, "fair enough."

Okay. This is where things get a little insane. But of course, you'll find out _why_ they get insane in the _next_ entry. I'll see what I can do for that.

~Valkyrie

* * *

I don't like being sick D:

**I don't own Indiana Jones or anything associated with him/the character.**

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :D

**Hey! I've got a poll on my profile, so go vote on it! It ends on May the 23rd!**


	16. Entry 16

**Entry #16: Written July 10th**

Dear Diary,

Alright, insane things. Here we go. We left off with human Skulduggery darting away, leaving us in the dust, and him to go beat up the bad guys.

Fletcher and I just sat there, tapping our feet. We remained like this for a little bit longer; I'm not really sure how long we were sitting there. But there was suddenly this enormous _BOOM_ sound that rocked and shook the cell and everything around us. A few stones from the wall fell out and landed a few feet away from us. There was another _BOOM_ that sounded through the whole place, breaking a few stones on the wall from their place and smashing on the cold ground. A few pieces hit Fletcher and I. Nothing happened for a long time, but there was another sound that filled the hallways, and it was like fingernails scratching across chalkboard.

"This is giving me a headache," Fletcher moaned.

I patted his leg with mine. "Well, we'll be out soon, I promise. Someone is going to get over here to get us."

He nodded lazily. "Yeah, wake me when that happens," he said.

"How can you sleep where there are essentially earthquakes going on above us?"

He shrugged and replied, "I don't know. I'm just really tired."

"Whatever you do," I said, "don't die, alright?"

Fletcher chuckled from beside me, and he went still after a little while, and I heard his breathing even out and shallow. After a bit, I heard a large group of people charging down the hallway. I watched as the torches suddenly lit up, illuminating the corridor. Six or seven Sand Men ran by, all of their faces incredibly distressed. Ten French Sanctuary agents zoomed past us, chasing the Sand Men, holding giant cartons of clear and brown liquids. I detected the strong smell of alcohol in the air as they were all running by. I rattled my chains to get someone's attention, but they had all gone off by then. Fletcher woke beside me, grumbled something that was probably an insult to me, and then stared at the wall.

Maybe half an hour later, another group of Sand Men flew by, and they were followed by Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar. They both had milk cartons full of _not_ milk. They stank of alcohol like the other people that ran by.

"It's them!" Madame Gabs shouted as they ran past, and I assumed that she meant Fletcher and I. There was a loud static-y sound that sounded in the hallway, and people were shouting in French.

Some time passed after this, and I began nodding off. But suddenly, Fletcher began poking at my leg with his foot.

"Look, look," he whispered.

I stared as hard as I could at where he was looking at, and I thought I saw the cell door rattle around a bit. Very quiet footsteps resounded on the stone floors, and I frowned as the keys on the wall began to magically lift into the air.

But then, it clicked.

"Monsieur Rhett!" I shouted happily.

"Shh!" the invisible form of him said. "This is a quiet operation."

"Besides those giant explosions from above," Fletcher grumbled.

"Well that was necessary for what we had planned," Monsieur Rhett replied, swinging the cell door open and turning visible again. He undid my cuffs and then Fletcher's. "Alright, Monsieur Renn, you need to take Mademoiselle Cain and teleport to your room at her villa. There's a picture of the spot where you need to teleport next to laying on the bed. Can you do that?"

Fletcher nodded and held out his hand to me. I gripped it and we teleported.

We ended up in his room at the villa, and we both suddenly doubled over in pain. My wrists and ribs ached so terribly bad, and the arrow wounds in my limbs stung with pain. Fletcher couldn't move his arms or breath right without wincing in pain.

"The regenerating cells!" I moaned out. He gasped in pain and nodded, then grabbed the picture of the next spot. It was a picture of a green field, with a red X on it. Writing on a piece of paper said to teleport to that X in that field. He groaned loudly and reached for my hand weakly and I blinked, and then we were at the X.

Fletcher collapsed onto the ground right then, and I stumbled around, but arms caught me. I looked up and noticed it was Doctor Jacques. He smiled weakly down at me and pressed lightly into my ribs that were still poking out. I shouted in pain and I felt another hand creep up and hold something to my mouth. The hand left my face and I heard rustling in the grass beside me, and Fletcher moaned something out. Lythia's voice responded to his moan, and suddenly, I fell asleep.

When I awoke, I was at Doctor Jacques' place. I grumbled and brought my hand to my face.

"Good morning, sunshine," a voice said.

My eyes popped open. I tried sitting up, but a cold hand pressed me down and pulled the blanket up farther.

"Is Fletcher alright?" I moaned.

"Yes," they said.

"Is that you, Skulduggery?"

"Indeed," Skulduggery replied. "Fletcher's asleep still in the bed over there." He pointed to the side, where Fletcher was lying in a heap in the bed.

I turned back to Skulduggery and frowned. He was back to being a skeleton. One arm was propping his jaw up, while the other one was swinging lazily over the armrest. His disguise was folded neatly at the foot of the bed.

"You're back to normal," I mumbled sadly.

"Technically, this is not normal."

"For all of society it isn't, but it's perfectly normal for me," I shot out.

He shrugged. "A valid point."

"Are _you_ okay?"

"I'm a little upset at having a chance at the human thing, then it disappearing the second I step out of the Nottingham's place. I'm happy that you're alright, though."

"That is always a plus for my to survive," I said. "What's today?"

He paused to think of it. "I think it's July the fourth."

"What?" I shouted. "I've been kidnapped for weeks?"

"We worked so hard to try and find you, but it was virtually impossible," Skulduggery said sadly. "Mademoiselle Robin was barely able to find the basic location of their hideout. They had very advanced spells protecting their property."

"Dear God…So how did you eventually find where it was?"

Skulduggery shifted around in his chair uncomfortably. "First, Mademoiselle Robin tried tracking Monsieur Snuggles collar that showed where he was, but we found that it had been tossed into the English Channel, so that was a bust. We then tried tracking the patterns that the gargoyles' wings made as it flapped away with you using some crazy waves and radios. I didn't understand a thing of it. But point is, it totally didn't work. Next, we tried finding your cell phone, which actually worked. We could just barely see the signal it was giving off on some fancy virtual map that Mademoiselle Robin had created. It was deep underground, about twenty miles from Paris. Monsieur Spar and myself sped out there quickly with a few little gadgets that Mademoiselle Robin had pressed onto us.

"One of the little things we had helped find your cell phone signal better, and we found that it was located below ground at some exact little location. We headed back to the Sanctuary with our findings, and we were informed that Madame Gabs had shut herself inside her room/office thing to think of a plan. Mademoiselle Robin was inside with her, while Monsieur Rhett was busy vacuuming up some sand that had miraculously ended up there."

"See!" I shouted. "It gets everywhere!"

Skulduggery laughed and continued. "He was vacuuming while drinking, which posed to be difficult. Lo and behold, that yes, he spilled his beer onto the sand pile, but the pile began to bubble and sizzle and turn incredibly acidic. We soon discovered that alcohol counteracts with the Sand Men."

"So is that why Fletcher and I saw those Sand Men being chased by Sanctuary agents who stank of alcohol?"

"That would explain it."

One mystery down, Diary!

"Anyway," Skulduggery said, "we tried to get into Madame Gabs' office, but she would only let Monsieur Spar in. He left Monsieur Rhett and I to play with more sand and alcohol by ourselves. Finally, after a few hours, Tanith, Ghastly, and China showed up. They said that Mademoiselle Robin had called them and told them to get down there. Madame Gabs appeared out of her office and dragged us all in there. That's when she told us of her plan.

"The plan was in multiple stages and required for everyone to know their part perfectly. For starters, Monsieur Spar would ask a _friend_ to let us borrow a drill."

"A drill? Like…one to drill in screws?"

"I'm talking like drill so big that we could get down deep underground to find you two."

"That's a really big drill." Yeah. Okay. That's what she said. Fine.

Skulduggery laughed once, and I glared. "Right. Continuing. Monsieur Spar's friend drove it over to the field where we found your cell phone signal and we just stuck it into the ground and let it go on and on for a few hours. Mademoiselle Robin's modified cloaking sphere kept us hidden from the French citizens that were wandering around in said field. Once we reached down underground by a couple hundred feet, myself and a few other agents descended into the hole. We spread out and went searching for your cell phone signal. One person found your phone, but I found you."

"And then you left us to rot there in the cell," I replied cheekily.

He shrugged. "It worked out easier that way. But when I left you two afterwards, I found a set of stairs and climbed them and found a huge cavern where the gargoyles were kept. Using a few little bombs, I threw them onto the ground, which made the gargoyles stomp around and shake the whole place."

"So that's what kept rocking the whole place?"

"Yes, and a few gargoyles were scarping their claws against a metal table, which would explain the terrible nails-against-chalkboard sound you probably heard."

"Yeah, and boy was that terrible."

Skulduggery chuckled and shifted again in his chair. "Anyway, after that, Neva, Gautier, and Colette came down to see what was going on, and they were not pleased. They tried to kill me, but I had cast a force field type spell right before. It was something that Tanith taught me, which helped. As this was going on, a group of Sand Men burst through the door, and they were being chased by Group 1, who had gallons of alcohol on hand. A few were hit with a lot, and they disintegrated. Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar popped up after that and got rid of the guys they were chasing.

"While we were fending off them, Monsieur Rhett had gotten to you guys and broken you out. The rest you know."

"Wow. That's quite a strange plan."

"Madame Gabs said it was the best she could come up with on such short notice," Skulduggery replied. "She seemed annoyed that you two got kidnapped."

"Yeah, it's _so_ my fault."

Skulduggery laughed and patted my hand. He sighed and said, "About that…uh…"

"Kiss?"

"Yeah, that. I-I'm not really sure why I did that, but I'm sorry for it."

"Don't apologize for it," I whispered. He sighed again and leaned in closer. "Don't apologize," I muttered softly, and I thought for an instant we were going to kiss again, but Fletcher suddenly woke up. Skulduggery pulled away sharply, an apologetic look on his face, if that was possible.

"Oh hey there," Fletcher said and stretched. He tried sitting up, but Skulduggery told him to lie still; Doctor Jacques wanted us to rest.

After this, Skulduggery and I just stared at each other awkwardly, and he was ushered out of the room by Lythia, who came in to check on us.

Okay so! This officially ends my kidnapped experience! The next entry will detail what's actually happening right now. Nothing has really happened over the days that I've been writing this, so that's convenient. Maybe we can keep it that way…

Skulduggery confuses me.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes! :D

**Hey! I've got a poll on my profile, so go vote on it! It ends on May the 23rd!**


	17. Entry 17

**Entry #17: Written July 12th**

Dear Diary,

I like those days where we all do nothing and just sit around and talk and see pretty stuff in the city.

Today was, surprisingly, one of those days.

Now that all the crazy kidnapping stuff is over, we've had time off because A) no gargoyles have attacked, B) Monsieur Rhett insisted on it, and C) the Sanctuary can't figure out why this is happening. Everyone's been pretty bored lately, and Fletcher and I have been fretted and worried over by half of the people we know, but seriously, we're doing totally fine. Fletcher didn't want to tell anyone about his near dying with that sedative injection we got, so I kept my mouth shut for him.

Anyway, back to today. I woke up and stumbled around a bit. Gordon was downstairs in the kitchen talking quietly with Skulduggery when I went to get my coffee fix, and they both seemed incredibly tense when I showed up.

"Am I now a wanted criminal in five different countries or something?" I said, pouring my coffee.

"Skulduggery was telling me about your kidnapping escapades in great detail," Gordon replied.

I froze and gave Skulduggery a death glare. He gave a very small shake of the head, which meant that he hadn't told Gordon about the _more than friends _kiss. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, when suddenly Tanith and Fletcher came bursting through the kitchen.

"There's a spider on the ceiling in the living room!" Fletcher screamed. I dropped the butter knife I had been holding and flattened myself against the counter.

I grimaced and glared at Skulduggery and shouted, "SKULDUGGERY KILL IT."

"He's not harming anyone-"

"DO IT ANYWAY."

He held his hands up in surrender and got up from his chair. He returned a few minutes later with a waded up tissue, and I jumped away from him like Ghastly did when we threw sand at him at the beach one time. (And for the record, Diary, it was hilarious.) Skulduggery threw the tissue into the trashcan and shut the lid to it.

"Happy?"

"Get me some cake. Then we'd be talking," Fletcher happily replied. Skulduggery scoffed at him and went to sit back down in his chair. He crossed his legs and arms, and in the body language world meant, "Shut up and leave me alone."

Tanith and Fletcher charged out of the kitchen again, storming and tearing through the house. They wrenched open the back door, and they stayed out there for quite a while. China was sitting _daintily _on one of the pretty couches, reading a book, naturally. Ghastly was in the chair across from her, cutting up fabric.

"Anyone know what's wrong with Skulduggery?" I asked Tanith and Fletcher when I went out there looking for them. They were laying up against a tree, staring at the little lake.

Tanith shrugged. "He's been a little cranky ever since rescuing you guys," she said, referring to Fletcher and I. "Did anything happen on that little escapade?"

Fletcher shot me a desperate look and said, "Maybe he's not telling us something important."

"He's usually one to keep secrets," Tanith mumbled sadly. "It's a shame, really."

"What is?"

"The fact that he keeps everything all bottled up. No matter how controlled one may be, they're always going to have to snap at some point and pour everything out. I wonder what'll happen when Skulduggery snaps."

"Well maybe he'll…snap in strides," Fletcher replied, still a desperate look on his face. "And perhaps something could happen that could…make him happy."

"Geez," I said, "that sounds really depressing."

"You know what I mean!" he said. "Something is _bound_ to happen at _some_ point that'll make him realize everything and everyone he has is really what you need."

"My. How poetic."

"I try."

"Fletcher," Tanith said, a wondering tone in her voice, "are you referring to what I _think_ you're referring to?"

"Depends on what you're thinking of."

"On…What we talked about earlier?"

"Oh, yeah, pretty much."

"What's going on?" I shouted at the two of them. "What were you talking about earlier? Does it concern Skulduggery and I and your ridiculous notion that we should be together and all romantic and stuff? I hate that." Lies. All lies.

"So do I," Skulduggery's own velvety voice said from behind me. I jumped back and screamed in fright, only to be caught by his skeletal arm. "Fail."

I bit my lip and blushed. "Sorry about that…But you were the one who snuck up on me! It was a normal reaction."

"Oui, naturally."

I paused and frowned.

Tanith began giggling as she staggered up. Fletcher stood next to her, leaning up against her muscular arms. "Picturesque," he grinned. I opened my mouth to say something, but they teleported that next instant.

"Curse that Fletcher Renn," Skulduggery mumbled. I couldn't help but notice that his arm hadn't left me. It had curled around my ribs right underneath my boobs. I tried squirming away from him playfully, but Skulduggery kept me grounded.

"Stay with me, please," he whispered softly. I was going to reply, but I was interrupted.

"Hello!" we heard China calling from her window from her room. "Tanith wants to go and see the city later tonight when it's all lit up. Would you want to go?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

China nodded and gave a wary look like she always does, but she shut her window and disappeared.

"Paris is beautiful when it's lit up," Skulduggery said out of the blue.

"I've seen pictures."

"Yeah, but they don't compare to the real thing."

So on that note, he slid his arms away from me, and gracefully sauntered off. I cocked my head to the side as I watched him climb the tree by the lake and sit there for a while. He seemed to be staring at his knees, and every once and while he'd tap his chin with his finger, like he was writing and thinking of what to put down. (Yeah, I don't know.)

So, skipping ahead to tonight. We did actually go out to see Paris all lit up and gorgeous. Oh my, it was so beautiful out, and Skulduggery _opened_ up about things. But I'll get to that soon.

Everyone (minus Gordon) piled into the _bigger_ car, with Ghastly driving. Skulduggery was in the passenger seat, with China by a window, me in the middle, and Tanith on my other side. We made Fletcher squeeze in the back.

Ghastly stopped the car at a random corner in the city, and everyone fanned out. Tanith and Ghastly went off together (ooh la la), while China went off to go find Mr. Bliss at a meeting place they had set up. Fletcher said he'd go wander off for a while and see if he could find any pretty French girls who spoke English. Skulduggery began pulling me down a sidewalk, and we passed by tons of people, all just walking slowly, and enjoying the scenery.

"I think everyday should be as pretty as this one was," I said happily.

Skulduggery chuckled. "Except get rid of the spider. Where did that terrible phobia of spiders come from in the first place?"

"The Torment…"

"Ah, now that would turn someone off arachnids for a long time, I guess."

"Uh, try forever. If I see one, it has to be killed instantly. I can't sleep if I see one in my room at one time, and then he's not there the next hour. I freak out."

"I noticed," Skulduggery replied, dodging a piece of bread that had been thrown on the ground. "Valkyrie, can I ask you a serious question?"

"I suppose," I said. "Depends on if it's too serious or not. Like, 'what would you do if I said I had cancer?' I won't answer that."

"I think it's a little impossible for me to get cancer though…"

"But still. If it's something like that, then I won't answer it and just carry on my merry way."

"Alright, it's not _that_ serious, but just answer me honestly, okay?"

I nodded and scrunched my eyebrows together, and puffed out my lips. "It's my serious face."

"That's a good face," he said softly. "Anyway, Valkyrie, if I hadn't been sucked into the Faceless Ones' portal, would you have taken up Wreath's ideas or offers to become a necromancer?"

I froze, forcing Skulduggery to stop, since his arm was interlocked with mine. "Why did you think this up in the first place?"

"I'm just curious."

"Well I don't know. I guess I wouldn't have needed it to accomplish anything 'great,' but it's admittedly come in handy. It's saved us a few times."

"Right, but if I had asked you to not learn it, would you not have?"

"I suppose not, since at the time I was naïve and acting like a puppy who was following you around. I followed your orders, essentially."

Skulduggery nodded slowly, digesting the information, and he seemed to perk up a bit. I tightened my grip on his arm and said, "Enough with the weird questions. Be happy for me, alright?"

He nodded again and began dragging me across the sidewalk. "We're going to see _the avenue des __Champs_-_Élysées_," Skulduggery announced. "It's absolutely one of the most gorgeous things you could lay eyes on."

"What are some other gorgeous things you could lay eyes on?"

"Hm?"

"Well this is one of the most gorgeous things you could lay eyes on, so what are others? Statue of David? Mona Lisa?"

Skulduggery chuckled and didn't say anything. I forced him to slow his fast dragging pace down and walk like a normal person. He finally did after much quiet bickering, which the two of us have mastered over the years. Maaany years.

When we reached _the avenue des __Champs_-_Élysées__, _Skulduggery got pretty calm and stoic. It seemed like he was just thinking incredibly deeply, because he'd always give vague responses when I asked a question about France or Paris or something. Maybe he's plotting my demise. Wouldn't that be a twist?

"Hey Skulduggery," I finally said after getting a mumble of an answer. "Let me ask you some serious questions."

He fell out of his stupor instantly and I could tell that his eye sockets were fixed on my eyes. He stopped walking slowly, and we remained there, standing a few inches apart from each other, staring at each other.

"What is it?"

"You've been so off and out of focus lately. I want to know why. What's been getting to you so badly that makes you cranky and argument-ish all the time? Is it the skin thing? Because, I mean, yeah, you were pretty great looking with it, but I still p…pretty…I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

Smooth as a rhinoceros. Way. To. Go.

He didn't answer right away. I thought that he was going to try and chance the subject, but he kept his straight posture and placed his arms securely on my shoulders. "The skin thing is partly to do with it, yes. I can't believe that it was there for just a few hours, but yet, the second I step back out into a public place I revert back to my regular self. I want to wander around Paris – or anywhere, really – without this silly disguise on. The other half that's making me upset like this is something I can't tell you or anyone else unless absolutely necessary." He paused. "And yes, I just heard every word you said."

I slapped my face with my hand. "Awesome, buddy. I didn't mean for it to sound like that!"

"I admit, I'm quite handsome when I have a regular body and everything."

"Ah, I was waiting for a joke like that," I replied happily, eager to get away from the fact that I pretty much said that Skulduggery was hot. I smiled and piled my arms around his skinny neck. I gripped his frame tightly and hugged him with everything I had. He grunted, but I felt his arms snake around my torso slowly and protectively. It felt nice having them there. It really did.

"If it's any consolation," he whispered so softly I thought I had just imagined it, "you're one of the most gorgeous things someone could lay eyes on."

And I end it here. I'll tell more about this night when I have more time. Plus I hear Skulduggery coming up to the room slowly, but surely. I will say that ending on that crazy romantic line, we carried on like none of the previous conversation had happened.

I can't stand that about our relationship.

~Valkyrie

* * *

I had mouth/gum surgery recently. FEEL BAD FOR MEEEEEE. :33

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :D

**Hey! I've got a poll on my profile, so go vote on it! It ends on May the 23rd!**


	18. Entry 18

**Just to let you all know all economic depressions/recessions used in here are completely made up. I need them for the story, but I'm way too lazy to figure out the years and how they correspond to the story XD Except for the Great Depression. That kind of happened. **

**Entry #18: Written July 14th**

Dear Diary,

I deserve a medal for being so awesome.

I figured out quite a few things about the Nottinghams and their motives, but we'll touch on that _eventually._ I just want to wrap up the night mentioned in the previous entry.

Skulduggery and I just wandered a little, and we actually ran into Fletcher, who had miraculously found a French girl that spoke pretty good English.

One guess as to who you think the girl is, Diary!

It was Lythia. (Doctor Jacques' assistant, in case you forgot, Diary.) She said that she was given the night off, and there was nothing better to do than go out and see the city. Fletcher had gotten along with her at Doctor Jacques' place, and he found her out and about, so that just made him so giggly and happy. I hadn't seen him like that…in ever.

I think I saw Tanith and Ghastly sneaking around the city rooftops, occasionally stopping to steal a _kiss_, but no one else saw them. The only people we didn't see were China and Mr. Bliss, but that wasn't too surprising. They've got the keeping-out-of-sight thing down pat.

But the craziest thing that night (besides the weird conversations Skulduggery and I had) was the fact that I could have sworn on my life that I saw Colette. Skulduggery and I were sitting on a bench near _the Arc de Triomphe_. I looked up for just a second and I saw the ball that Colette had been playing with in the park when we first met them. It flew up into the air, and fell back down, and then I didn't see it again. What I did see was the small crowd, near where the ball was, disperse and Colette walk through. She gave a sharp grin and her eyes lit up dangerously. My eyes widened and I yanked on Skulduggery's coat and pulled him to where Colette was.

"What? What?" he asked frantically. "What do you see?"

"I saw the creeper teenager, Colette!" I shouted. "She was _there_." I pointed to the bench, now empty, where she was previously sitting.

"Are you sure?"

"I saw that ball she was playing with when we first met them. It was being thrown into the air. I assume she caught it, because then the crowd right there spread out to let her through. She smiled creepily at me, and then I went to grab you."

"Which way did she go?"

"Down the street the opposite way," I said.

He nodded and began marching where we had just come from. I quickly followed and we searched for a little less than an hour.

"Could it have been another person who vaguely resembled her?"

"It could have," I replied, "but why would they look at me like a psycho and then completely disappear?"

Skulduggery paused and placed his gloved hand to my forehead. "Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale."

"I feel fine," I growled. "I'm not delusional. I _know_ that I saw her. She's stalking us."

"Who is?"

Both Skulduggery and I shouted and jumped back. China Sorrows rolled her pretty eyes, while Mr. Bliss rose an eyebrow.

"Maniacs," China mumbled. "But who's stalking you?"

"Besides you two," Skulduggery said unhappily, "the teenager, Colette Nottingham. She's obviously one of our main 'villains'. She's an adept, with elasticity as her magical ability."

"Did she say anything to you? And, Valkyrie, you saw her?" Mr. Bliss asked. (I miss him and his stern-ness.) It would make sense that he'd be all caught up with him being _kind of_ important when it comes to Sanctuaries.

"No," I replied, "she didn't say anything. I saw her, and then I went to grab Skulduggery. We couldn't find her; it's like she disappeared. And now Skulduggery thinks I'm insane."

"I don't think you're insane," he grumbled. "I was just curious as to whether or not you were feeling alright, since you looked pretty tired and worn. Excuse me, princess."

But you know, Diary, when Skulduggery mentioned it, I realized I felt just a little funny. Like…There was this weirdo feeling in my stomach. It was like borderline between hunger and queasy, you know?

Anyway, Mr. Bliss said he'd quick call Madame Gabs and Demetrius Lithium (remember him?) and let them know. China kept saying that we should go home, but Skulduggery lovingly pointed out that we only had one car between everyone. China shrugged it off and told us to take the car that Bliss took here, and if we didn't take it, she'd personally see that we were shipped back to Ireland, without getting to solve this case.

CURSE HER.

Skulduggery and I waltzed over to the fancy-shmancy car that was about fifteen minute's walk from where we were at the time. He hopped into the driver's seat and I gingerly sat in the passenger's.

"You're positive you're feeling alright?" Skulduggery asked as we drove away from the city.

I shrugged. "I don't even know if you're real or not," I replied, "so I'm not going to answer that."

Skulduggery nodded and accelerated the car and we sped back to the villa. He parked the car at the curb and opened my door for me. He held out his hand for me, and I grabbed it, and he helped me out of the car.

After this, I went straight to bed. I was awoken at nine the next morning by my cell phone ringing. I flung my hand over to the side table to grab my phone, but I hit something else.

I groaned something weird out, and sat up to look at what I hit.

"Hello?" Skulduggery said. _He_ was the one who grabbed my cell phone. "Yes, she's right here, but she was asleep, so I grabbed the phone. …We can be there by 10:30, yes. …Just Fletcher, Valkyrie, and myself? …Right, we'll be there."

He hung up and placed the phone on the table softly. I flipped my head over to look at him. Skulduggery bent down and rested his arms on the mattress and placed his skull on his arms.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," he whispered.

"Morning," I replied sleepily. "Who called?"

"Monsieur Rhett. He said that the Sanctuary is having a meeting about what to do, and they want Fletcher, you, and I to be there."

"Fletcher and I because we were the ones taken?"

He nodded. "I assume, but they didn't really say. I said 10:30, thinking an hour or so would be enough time for you to wake up, etc."

I cleared my throat and tried sitting up, but instead just fell back down onto the bed. I flung the blankets to cover my face, but Skulduggery pulled them back down after a few minutes.

I growled at him and stalked into the bathroom. After washing my face and all that good stuff, I came back out. Skulduggery wasn't there this time. I quickly got dressed and marched downstairs.

Everyone was congregated in the kitchen, including Mr. Bliss and Gordon. I greeted them all, and they all greeted me back.

"Did you actually see that crazy Colette chick?" Tanith asked incredulously.

I shrugged. "It sure as heck looked like her, that's for sure," I replied. "I lost sight of her after 30 seconds, but I'm almost positive it was her."

"So that leaves us to wonder why the heck we don't just go down to their hideout and arrest them all there!" Skulduggery grumbled.

"I'm sure Madame Gabs will point out a reason why we can't arrest them," Ghastly sullenly replied. "She would be a great politician when it came to debating random crap in the world. She scares me."

Tanith laughed and patted his hand. (Ooh la la.) Fletcher grimaced and pretending to gag himself, but China stepped on his foot hard and he moaned in pain.

"Fletcher," Skulduggery announced to him, "you, Valkyrie, and I are going to the Sanctuary at 10:30. Please stop whining and make yourself pretty."

Fletcher scoffed. "Excuse me, I'm always pretty."

Everyone groaned at his remark. He grumpily stomped up the stairs and disappeared into his room. He came back out thirty minutes later. He's such a girl on the inside.

Okay, I'm just fast-forwarding. This is boring. Skulduggery, Fletcher, and I all piled into the Bentley and we got to the Sanctuary quickly. We approached the Catacombs entrance, and Skulduggery whipped the little pass out to show the guard-man thing. He nodded sternly and let us pass through. I led the way through the winding walls of skulls, and I stopped at the far end. Fletcher pulled the skull because he kept begging to, and Skulduggery glided through the wall first, then me, then Fletcher. Skulduggery slid the pass through the slot in the door, and it instantly swung open.

"Bonjour!" Monsieur Rhett greeted us happily. "Thank goodness you're all doing well. Have you fully recovered from your visit with the Nottinghams?" he asked as he began sauntering down the corridors.

Fletcher tensed slightly, but I saved him by saying, "Yeah, it's not like the completely abused us. We just needed some sleep and Doctor Jacques' medicine."

"I imagine Monsieur Pleasant must have been worried for you both," Monsieur Rhett replied sneakily, stopping at a grand door to look at us all.

"Nah, he just wanted to make sure we were alright so he could keep verbally abusing us both," Fletcher said.

Skulduggery threw his sunglasses at him.

"And physically abuse us!" he shouted as Skulduggery's wig hit his face. Monsieur Rhett smiled at us. He knocked at the large door, and it swung open grandly. Monsieur Spar stood there, holding the door open for us. We passed through, and he shut it loudly when Fletcher stopped gawking at the whole place.

There was a large wooden, round table centered in the room. At each corner, there was a computer, with wires running all around it and up into the ceiling. Around the table were chairs. Madame Gabs, Aya, Mr. Bliss, and Demetrius were all sitting at the table all ready. Monsieur Spar gestured for us to sit. He took his place next to Madame Gabs, and Monsieur Rhett sat next to his sister, who was typing on a laptop again. Fletcher sat next to Mr. Bliss, me next to him, and Skulduggery took the last seat.

"Finally," Madame Gabs muttered. She stood up and placed her hands on the table. "We're all here to figure the heck out why the Nottingham family is doing what they're doing. We need to find out (1, why they've suddenly surfaced again, (2, how they got gargoyles as their pets, (3, how those Sand Men were created, and (4, they're motives. Mademoiselle Robin has researched the family, but she hasn't come up with much, even after hacking into government databases around the world. The Nottinghams are secretive people, and revealing information is something villains don't like to do, unless it's the climactic final battle, when they began monologue-ing.

"The floor is open for discussion," she finished.

Monsieur Rhett immediately stood up. He grabbed a file that Aya handed to him and opened it.

"Though they seem to pop up at random times through the world," he started out, "I believe that there's actually a reason why they appear at the odd years. 56 years ago, when they first became known, it was when The Grand Crash of Canada, when their economy collapsed. While no attacks or anything was reported in Canada, the gargoyles still came up and about. Then again, when the Depression of Australia struck 23 years ago, they came back. It seems as though when there's a major financial crisis, they appear."

"So why didn't they come when the Great Depression occurred?" Skulduggery questioned.

Monsieur Rhett held up a defiant finger. "The way I figure it is that Neva Nottingham wasn't born at the time, or she hadn't realized her powers and hadn't take control of the gargoyles."

"But…Doesn't the time-line not make sense?" Fletcher wondered, trying to do the calculations in his head.

"It makes sense if you think about it," Monsieur Rhett said happily. "If you find a flaw, Monsieur Renn, do tell me.

"Anyway, continuing," he…continued, "I also believe that whenever there's just any old crisis in the world, something or someone will disappear. Take World War II, for example. As Japan was bombing the United States, a massacre occurred all around the world. Now, this was not a people massacre. Hundreds of goats were killed, instead. Farmers woke up the next morning to find all of their goats either dead on the ground, or just gone. Blood has been found, as well as heads. Thanks to Aya's research, she told me that a farmer described the scene like 'a tornado had ripped through my farm.'

"There were pictures all across the Internet, and Aya showed me one of a huge claw mark in the ground in a small village in Chile. People believed it was just a very giant animal, but from the marks that our agents found in the Nottingham Hideout, they looked to be gargoyle marks. So, a crisis will equal gargoyles. Simple."

He sat down quietly, and Mr. Bliss tilted his head in thought. He suddenly stood up.

"Alchemy," he said simply.

"What about it?" Monsieur Spar grumbled.

"The gargoyles and Sand Men were created using alchemy. While alchemy has been primarily used for turning metals into gold and immortality, it can be warped to create new things."

"Nothing in _any_ history book or anything on the Internet has said anything about that, Monsieur Bliss," Aya snorted condescendingly.

He held his hands behind his back. "Possibly because I read it once in a book my sister owns. Written by an ancient sorcerer, he detailed his experiments, and how he came across the ability to make and shape new living things."

"I don't believe it," Aya mumbled.

"Did you believe in gargoyles coming to life before?" Monsieur Rhett snapped at her. "Now shush and let him finish." She grimaced and took to her laptop again.

Mr. Bliss gave a hesitant nod to Monsieur Rhett and continued. "The plausible explanation for this is that the Nottingham family has some connection with the ancient sorcerer who wrote the book. He must have left notes laying around somewhere, and one of the members of the family must have found them. Perhaps it could be one of Neva's relatives that taught it to her, but she most likely learned it from someone close."

Mr. Bliss sat back down, folded his arms, and kept his face level. Now was the time to keep your mouth shut and not go up against him. I'm pretty used to him, but it seemed like everyone but Skulduggery and I were a little uneasy around him. Heck, he still scares me occasionally.

Madame Gabs nodded once, like she approved of the explanation, then stood up. "I'd like to see that book, if possible," she directed at Mr. Bliss.

"It's back in Ireland where my sister's library is," he said back.

She shrugged. "I'll have it delivered. What's the title?"

Mr. Bliss shrugged his massive shoulders and stood up. "Let me call my sister. _Excusez-moi_."

He whipped out his cell phone and left the room swiftly. The only sound was Aya's laptop clicking away furiously. Skulduggery sat back in his chair, fingering his hat brim and tapping his foot. Fletcher put his hands together and stared at the ceiling. Monsieur Spar and Madame Gabs were whispering to each other, while Aya was showing Monsieur Rhett something on her computer.

Suddenly, I had a realization.

"Skulduggery?" I turned to him.

He slowly turned his skull to me. "Yes?"

"What does 'vous vierge stupide' mean?"

All the French speakers stopped what they were doing to stare at us.

"Where did you hear that?" Skulduggery asked urgently.

"This weird guy was taunting me while Fletcher and I were chained to walls. He just wandered down there and started ranting and shouting in French. He said that particular phrase with a really terrible sounding tone, so I'm curious. Is it an insult or something?"

Madame Gabs sat up dramatically. "It translates to, 'you stupid _virgin_.' Why would an evil guy even say that at all?"

"There were three other people in our cell at the beginning," I said quickly. "But they kind of killed right away. I don't know why they were chosen, but they were killed alright."

Skulduggery tilted his head. "How cliché would it be if they wanted virgin sacrifices?" he jokingly said.

Everyone was quiet.

"I'm a virgin," I muttered.

"How come they didn't capture me, then?" Madame Gabs asked loudly. "I'm a virgin, obviously."

"They probably ran out of time," Monsieur Rhett said slowly. "We began attacking them the second Neva Nottingham shoved Valkyrie off the Eiffel Tower. Monsieur Renn stayed back, near Gautier and Colette, so they were able to grab him…" Monsieur Rhett stopped and stared at Fletcher.

LE GASP.

"Fletcher!" I shouted, standing up, pointing a finger at him. "Are you still a virgin?"

He bit his lip and stared at the table before giving a nod.

"But what about all those stories about you in Russia or Mexico or whatever? I thought you went around and-" I was cut off when Madame Gabs stood up, her chair scraping across the floor.

"Forgive me for asking," she said, "but Monsieur Pleasant, are you still a virgin?"

He shrugged. "Technically no, but with the skeleton thing, I don't know how it counts."

She nodded and faced Monsieur Rhett and Aya. She gave them both a look. The twins shook their heads. Monsieur Spar shook his head as well when she asked the same question.

"It seems the only virgins in here are myself, Mademoiselle Cain, and Monsieur Renn. This has been, surprisingly, a good meeting. I expected for us to just sit here, looking dumbfounded. Monsieur Spar, could you get me some tea and meet my in my office?" She pushed her chair in gracefully and bypassed us all. She opened the door just as Mr. Bliss was coming back in. She beckoned for him to follow her, though it was clear he'd rather stay with us.

Alright, that was pretty much it. After this, the three of us just drove back home and sat around, explaining what happened. Tanith and I had a tennis ball that we kept throwing at each other. Tanith sat on the roof, while I remained on the ground. I'd launch it to her, and she'd catch it, then throw it back to me. It was actually pretty fun.

The only bad thing was that Fletcher seemed so put out. I tried talking to him, but he kept brushing me off. Like…is being a virgin such a terrible thing to him? Is he ashamed that he's been lying about all the girls he's gotten over his years? He seemed so sad.

But then, Skulduggery kept giving me these strange looks. I was going to make a sarcastic remark about it, but China pulled him away the second we got home. Tell me if I'm imagining it, but it seems like she's freaking me out on purpose.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Alright. So, based on the results from the poll that I had up (thanks for voting!) you guys all want me to start a new story. Unfortunately, I'm having tons of plot problems for it, and I need a lot of time to get it all plotted out and nice. I want this upcoming story to be fleshed out and plot-y. Yep.

So, I have no idea when it'll be posted. This one finishes at 25 chapters, and then I might work on **The** **Immortal Rescue**, but I'm not sure. That's my lowest-priority as of now. There's the possibility I might contact some of you, begging for ideas on how to make this new story work out nicely, but we'll see how that goes.

Okay, so if you read that giant note, I thank you. Sorry for any mistakes and thanks for reading! :D


	19. Entry 19

**Warning: Slight sexual themes.**

Also, kudos to **Cernunnos Cain **for giving me a fantastic idea…

* * *

**Entry #19: Written July 19th**

Dear Diary,

OH GOD.

Right.

So, today was sort of weird. Like…a nice weird, though. I'll begin with the fact that as I was sitting in the tree outside, the back door flew open, and Fletcher sprinted out of it. Tanith was right behind him, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"LIKE A VIIIIRGIN," she shouted, "TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME."

"SHUT UP," Fletcher shouted back, teleporting that next instant.

I frowned and jumped from my perch and landed in front of Tanith safely. "That was pretty harsh, Tanith," I said quietly. "And how did you find out?"

"Monsieur Rhett called, asking to speak to Mr. Bliss, and he explained what went on at that meeting the other day," she replied. "I figured I could make fun of him for a bit, and then feel bad."

"Or you could…not say anything about it."

That next moment, Fletcher teleported right next to me. "Valkyrie's a virgin too!" he shouted, trying to take some of the slack off of himself.

Tanith shrugged. "I know, and I'm not surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I muttered angrily.

"You're so conservative, Val!" Tanith exclaimed. "You need to-"

"Valkyrie!" China shouted from the house. "Skulduggery wants you!"

"I'm sure he _does_," Tanith whispered to Fletcher, who smirked slightly. I glared at them both and casually meandered over to the back door. Ghastly told me to go to Gordon's study, so I climbed the stairs and entered the room quickly.

Madame Gabs was sitting on the desk. Uh.

I frowned.

"What are you doing here?" I asked skeptically.

"You and Skulduggery have an assignment," she replied dully. Her eyes cast to the corner of the room where Skulduggery was, and Monsieur Spar was sitting in a chair near him. My God, I hadn't even noticed them.

Anyway.

Madame Gabs explained everything about what we had to do. She explained that they were putting us back to work after our nice absence. Skulduggery and I were to shack up at _Église Saint-Sulpice_ and to just peruse the church and such. We'd be there from 7 at night to midnight. Well alright then! Just spring that on us! Skulduggery agreed to do this, so I had no choice but to say yes too. Madame Gabs bowed her hand and hopped from the desk. She strode out the study, and Monsieur Spar got up swiftly, walking behind her protectively.

"Wow," Skulduggery mumbled, coming to stand close to me, "that was abrupt."

"I think they corner us on purpose. She'll get us to do whatever she wants, seriously."

He nodded and said, "Ah, those French, oui, oui."

Alright, fast forward. The time is 7-ish, and Skulduggery and I had just arrived at the church. Monsieur Rhett was waiting there for us, and he handed us both those recurring little gadgets we get when we do these stake-outs.

Skulduggery and I entered the church stealthily, avoiding strange looks from different people who were wandering around in it. We pretended to tour the place, and then when everyone had left, we really began searching and investigating anything. Skulduggery's hand was facing palm-up, ready to strike. I kept a coil of shadows swirling around in the air in front of me, flicking them around every once and a while.

"So," Skulduggery abruptly said, "what's the relationship status with you and Monsieur Rhett?"

I looked at him skeptically and said, "Who wants to know?"

"I do," he replied.

"Uh, well," I said, "I guess we're not together or anything, but we're like we were before. Why are you so hung up on this?"

Instead of answering my question, he replied with _another_ question. "If he had asked, would you have stayed here?"

"What is it with you and your deep questions? What's making you so depressed like this? Why _now_ to ask me all this?"

"Can you just answer my question, please?" he asked quietly.

I sighed and wrung my hand out from my shadows. I gripped Skulduggery's bony shoulders and kept him still. "No matter what, I wouldn't leave you. Whatever happens, you'll still be there, and I'll still be there, so we'll be there together. I won't move countries just because of a nice guy that I met. Monsieur Rhett is sweet, but we're not meant for each other. Now, don't ask another question like that again, okay? I don't like it."

Skulduggery held up his hands in defense, nodding vigorously. "I just want to know, Valkyrie," he answered softly, looking downward.

"Then ask me happy questions before you ask me depressing ones."

Skulduggery laughed. I let go of his shoulders and tickled my shadows across his torso. He brushed them away, annoyed, but he seemed slightly excited about something. We both remained pretty silent after this, only muttering to each other every twenty minutes or so. But suddenly, Skulduggery broke the silence.

"I enjoyed your abrupt subject change about the virgin sacrifices thing," he bluntly said.

I grinned slightly. "It was like a sudden revelation. And it kind of makes sense, unless there's another thing that Fletcher and I have in common…Which I doubt."

"Who would have thought that Fletcher would be a virgin?" Skulduggery wondered thoughtfully. "I expected him to have various diseases, from all those stories he's told us."

"I haven't been able to talk to him about it," I replied. "I want to bug him, and ask why the heck he'd lie about all that, but Tanith keeps torturing him with _Like A Virgin_, by Madonna."

"Like a v-iiir-iiir-iiir-gin…" Skulduggery sang softly, under his breath. I laughed loudly, surprised he even knew that song.

"I bet that's your favorite song or something," I murmured.

"Madonna tends to have those types of songs, doesn't she?" Skulduggery replied, shrugging happily.

I laughed again, and Skulduggery punched my shoulder lightly. After this, we discussed pretty much everything. Really, we did a pretty crappy job of keeping quiet and actually searching the whole place. But nothing happened (for once), so that's a plus.

BUT.

The good/bad stuff happens as we're leaving.

Two of the Sanctuary agents arrived to relieve us of our watching, so as Skulduggery and I were leaving, I swear on my life I saw _Colette again_. I gasped and pushed Skulduggery out of my way and bolted to where I had seen her. She had been leaning up against the wall, but when I got there, she wasn't there. Skulduggery rushed up to me, asking over and over what was wrong, but I just shook my head and turned around. I figured it was no use trying to convince him that I had seen her. The _other_ time this happened, it didn't go too well.

But anyway, Skulduggery sighed and led me out of the church, and I noticed the two agents go over to where I was looking. They searched it for a little bit, and when we left, I couldn't see either of them anymore.

So, Skulduggery and I got home safely and I went straight up to shower. Skulduggery sat around in the room, and he seemed to pull out a book as I shut the door to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom, I threw my clothes into a corner and combed my hair. I finished combing it, and without asking, Skulduggery instantly dried it. I smiled and turned and Skulduggery was right in front of me, like, three inches away from me.

"Woah, personal space," I mumbled and slipped away from him. I felt his arm yank on mine, and I was pulled back, and his arms wrapped around my waist tightly. "What are you doing?" I hissed.

"Shh. Just relax," he told me quietly and pulled me even closer. One arm released my waist and cupped my face gently. I gasped as I suddenly felt his cold/warm skeletal lips on mine. Without thinking, I slid my arms around his neck and melted into him. (Ha, sap.)

His body gently began pushing forwards, forcing me back a few steps. I felt the wall up against my back soon. Skulduggery let go of my face and gripped my hips and pushed me up against the wall firmly. I gasped as his teeth moving from my lips to my neck and gently nipped at my skin, sending shivers and goosebumps all around my body.

His one hand slid from my hips to my thigh and the backside, yanking it up and hooking it onto his own hip. I only whimpered slightly and yanked him closer. His hand gripped the fabric of my shirt, and I shivered when his hand felt the hook to my bra. His other hand began pulling the front of my shirt up. Diary, do you know what I did then?

I stopped him.

I had a perfectly ample opportunity to make my undying love known to him, but I just stopped him.

So I jerked back suddenly, planting my feet firmly on the ground. I leaned up against the wall, thinking a moment.

"Are you okay?" he asked calmly, trying to read my expression.

"Yeah," I replied, "but I…I…"

"I get it, I get it," he mumbled, pulling me into a regular hug. His hands pressed firmly against my back and curled around my shirt. "I didn't mean to attack you like that. Human instinct."

"Creeping up on someone and then mercilessly making out with them?" I whispered, throwing my arms around his neck.

He shrugged. "That's pretty much how life goes, right?"

I laughed and pulled back. Skulduggery released me and gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek. He swiftly left the room, shutting the door quietly after that, leaving me to think about this little incident and to write it down.

See, Diary, I love Skulduggery. (Shocker!) But what I hate most about him are his mood swings. I don't mean the fact that he's happy and then depressed in a second, but I mean those times when he's joking and then super serious next. He's a complicated guy, yadda yadda, and I had thought that those drastic changes in mood were neat when I was younger, but now I find them obnoxious. And like, earlier, when we were walking about Paris a few days ago. He and I had that serious talk about…uh, stuff I don't remember.

_"I will say that ending on that crazy romantic line, we carried on like none of the previous conversation had happened."_

This happens to me/us constantly. I don't like it. There are days when I just want Skulduggery to sit down and openly and willingly explain what goes on in his head. I want to know what he thinks of everyone and everything around us.

Diary, now I'm wondering if that's just too big a risk. Like, would we not work out if he continued like that? I know that that's his natural nature and everything, but there is a time when everyone just has to pour out their feelings.

But Diary, no matter what Skulduggery does, I'll still love him. I said that I'd always be there with him, and darn it, I meant it.

~Valkyrie

* * *

So, credit to **Cernunnos Cain** for being awesome and suggesting "Like a Virgin" to be factored into this. And just saying, the song is **Like a Virgin**, by **Madonna**.

And hey, through some crazy events, I've got a lot of plans for new story! **Cernunnos Cain **is also helping me out with that! Go love her (right?)!

Thanks for reading everyone! Sorry for mistakes! :D


	20. Entry 20

SKULDUGGERY WON THE IRISH BOOK OF THE DECADE. CELEBRATORY DANCE TIME.

**I also don't own Hot Pockets.

* * *

**

**Entry #20: Written July 28th**

Dear Diary,

FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN THE WORLD.

Fletcher and I were captured.

AGAIN.

_**AGAIN.**_

Okay, here's what happened. The line just makes it easier to separate the days, okay?

* * *

July 21st

It was so picturesque it made me want to die. It was probably around three in the afternoon, and the sun was _just_ beginning to set, but it was still really light out. Everyone was outside, just sitting around, doing nothing. Tanith and Ghastly were laying next to each other a ways off, and just being cute in general. Fletcher was reading one of Gordon's novels, while China and Mr. Bliss played badminton. (No, I don't even know.) Skulduggery and I had been rather distant after the _incident_. We weren't avoiding each other, but we hadn't been talking as much.

But anyway, getting to this whole kidnapping thing. I was playing with my shadows, curling them around everything, shaking the trees, etc. But suddenly, a branch snapped and fell. Everyone jumped up and went to the source of the sound, but we saw nothing. No one was around, except us.

That is, until I saw Colette again.

Her face appeared in between the trees, a wicked grin on her lips. Her eyes glinted as she stretched her arm sky-high and pulled a huge tree branch down. Skulduggery hadn't seen her (or heard her) yet and remained oblivious to what was happening.

"SKULDUGGERY!" I screamed, snaking a shadow across the ground and yanking him back from the branch. He tumbled onto the forest floor unharmed. I heard a _whoosh_ sound and looked up. Four arrows (ARGH) flew through the air in a graceful arc, cutting through a tree trunk, causing it to almost fall over Skulduggery.

"For God's sake!" I heard him shout in anger as he bolted away. There was a _whack _and a clinking sound, and I jumped over the trunk and saw Gautier, holding Skulduggery up, with his rib cage completely surrounded by chain links. He was struggling, but he couldn't break free.

"Valkyrie, there's-" he began shouting, but Gautier's other chain-hand swung up and smashed into Skulduggery's jaw. I saw it begin to fall off his skull, but something pierced through my arm and stung me bad. Something else – something kind of slimy – grabbed my wounded arm and whipped me backwards. I fell and did backwards rolls over and over again, landing on my hurt arm, like, eight times. I was dragged out into the grass, but the slimy thing holding me suddenly let go. I heard someone scream, and a man grunt in pain.

I opened my eyes and looked at the scene around me. Ghastly and Tanith were trying to wrestle away _freaking Monsieur Snuggles_, but failing miserably at it. Fletcher was no where to be seen for a while, but I caught sight of him on the roof, talking wildly into a cell phone. I _hope_ he was calling the Sanctuary. I still don't know if he did. Neva was trying to nail him with arrows, but he kept dodging them.

Colette was being mercilessly attacked by China with her badminton rack. She touched a symbol on her face and the rack lit up with a white energy. She swung the rack like a bat to smack into Colette, and the teenager went flying a few feet away. Gautier emerged from the forest, dragging Skulduggery with him.

But get this, Diary.

It was human Skulduggery.

And somehow, his suit was fixed, so it wasn't so tight and tiny on him. (Yeah, that was awkward to look at.) His right cheek (on his _face_, Diary) was bleeding from a few cuts and scrapes, and his hair seemed to be matted with blood. It looked like he was hit from the back. His eyes were heavily lidded, and he looked to be having trouble staying awake; his head kept bobbing around as he was dragged.

I suddenly heard a shriek as Fletcher began falling from the villa. Monsieur Snuggles knocked over Tanith and Ghastly and scooped him up. Neva climbed up onto her _pet_ gargoyle and patted his ear. He suddenly took off into the sky, and he hovered there like a friggin helicopter.

Meanwhile, I was just sort of standing there.

I realized I should probably do something about that.

Colette and China were still beating each other up, and Gautier was stalking across the lawn, still dragging Skulduggery. Like, _dragging_ him. I fumed and bolted up to them, giving a sharp kick to Gautier's lower back and swinging his legs out from under him.

He collapsed and dropped a limp Skulduggery onto the ground. He groaned loudly and curled into a ball, holding his bleeding head. I grimaced at the poor thing, but then reached out to Gautier. I gripped his chain arm and coiled a shadow down it, mixing the two materials together, and causing the chain to snap and dissolve. Gautier screamed in pain. He swung his other chain hand, and before I could do anything, he had swung me on the back of the head.

I was out cold.

Oh, but guess where I was when I woke up, Diary!

A holding cell! Joyous!

When I woke, though, I took a few minutes to figure out where the heck I was. Through the dim light, I could tell that Fletcher was sitting right next to me. I reached to poke his thigh, and his head instantly whipped around to face mine.

"SKULDUGGERY'S DEAD, VALKYRIE," he screamed.

…

Oh, God.

Was that the worst moment of my life right there, or WHAT?

Ha, but he's not actually dead. (In fact, he's asleep. Right next to me.)

But when Fletcher said this, I kind of started hyperventilating.

"He won't move! I keep trying to wake him up, but nothing is working! I don't feel any breathing at all!" Fletcher continued. "I noticed his head was bleeding from the back, but I don't know if that'd be enough to kill him! Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. You're going to fall apart now! I'll be all alone, trying to fend off these crazies! What am I going to do? Oh Go-"

"You're going to shut up and let me look at him!" I shouted, interrupting him.

"…Okay."

I sighed in frustration and swayed over to Skulduggery. I could tell that my face had bled a lot, but I seemed to be alright. Someone had pulled out the arrow in my arm for me. Thank you, whoever did that.

Alright, but I went over to Skulduggery's still-limp body. He was slouched against the wall. His head had lolled forward. He looked incredibly pitiful.

I gripped his shoulders and dragged his body so that it was lying down. Fletcher made sure his head didn't suffer any more damage. I bent down to poke at his face and small cut, and they looked alright, yet he was a bit paler than healthy for a human being. I slapped his face lightly a few times, trying to wake him up, but he didn't respond at all. I placed my two fingers on his neck, searching for a pulse. I had to look hard for a few agonizing minutes, but I eventually found its steady, yet slow, beat. I grinned up at Fletcher, and he sighed in relief.

Next, I bent down and opened his mouth a bit.

"Are you going to give him mouth-to-mouth?" Fletcher asked, loudly.

"No!" I replied. "I just want to check his breathing is alright." I bent down closer to his face, and I felt a small stream of air hit my cheek lightly. It hit it again quickly after that, and I relaxed slightly.

"He's alive," I stated. "I don't know how you thought he was dead, but he's not."

"I was panicking!" Fletcher said, defending himself. "I woke up with him leaning on my shoulder. He would _never_ in all his life do that unless he had suddenly died!"

I rolled my eyes and hoisted Skulduggery back up. He managed out a groan, and his hand reached out and yanked on my arm.

"Neeeeeee…ck," he sputtered, collapsing back onto Fletcher. He frowned and helped me hold up his body and check his neck. I saw a small trail of blood running down it, and I quick checked his head. I took off my first layer shirt and dabbed it at his head, which was bleeding still. He groaned something else, and his leg twitched slightly, and his other hand clutched my leg tightly.

"Hey, what did they do to you?" I asked him quietly. Fletcher lowered him back down so he was resting on the floor. I shooed him out of the way and cradled his head in my lap, pushing his matted hair back from his closed eyes.

"P…" he mumbled.

"What does that mean?" Fletcher wondered.

"Peanuts?" I suggested. "Pants? Parrots? Pepper?"

"Pooo-ooock…"

"Pock?" Fletcher mused. "Hot Pocket?"

"I'm sure that's it, Fletcher," I answered. "Pocket, perhaps?"

Skulduggery groaned once as an answer, and I quick nodded at Fletcher to start searching him. After a few minutes, he produced a small plastic baggie of red pills from Skulduggery's pants.

"Drugs…" Fletcher mumbled, studying them. "I think these are…Downers. Yeah, that's it."

"Are they harmful? And what _are_ they?"

"They're illegal drugs-"

"ILLEGAL?" I shouted, jostling Skulduggery. "Is he going to be alright?"

"It depends on how bad the dose was," Fletcher answered. "If it was high, he'll probably be out for a few hours, unless it's already been five or six; I don't think so, though. He's like this since these drugs – their official name is 'barbiturates' – cause drowsiness, anxiety relief, clumsiness, slurred words or speech. It can also knock you unconscious, and when they're taken with alcohol, they can completely wreck your body."

Wow.

"Uh, Fletcher," I asked, "how do you know all this stuff?"

"I had a friend once who got busted for having these," he said sadly. "The cops kept repeating all the bad things that could happen to us if we'd kept using these or whatever. I visited him once in prison; he didn't look too good."

Wow. Again.

"You sounded so serious and official, Fletcher."

"Drug-Buster Chippy the Chipmunk doesn't joke around with drugs!" he shouted, pointing dramatically. "He was the little mascot at a school I once went to," he added when I just stared at him.

"Understandable, then," I said. "Will he be alright, though?"

Fletcher shrugged. "It depends on how he's treated here. If they keep giving him dose after dose, it could get pretty serious. I'm not sure how his body would work with the skeleton-changing-to-human-and-back thing, but he may just…reset, you know?"

I nodded, happy that Skulduggery _probably_ wouldn't die.

Speaking of dying…the Nottinghams were gracious enough to show Fletcher and I a sacred ritual! And it was pretty much the grossest thing ever!

Anyway, maybe a few hours after all the above events, Gautier strode down to our cell. He reached up to the keys on the wall awkwardly and unlocked our cell. He motioned to Fletcher and I wordlessly. I tried to protest, but Gautier shot me a sharp look. I hesitantly got up, leaving Skulduggery with my shirt supporting his head. Gautier led us up through many dark hallways, and we approached a small, white door. He pushed it open with his hand, and that's when I realized it.

Earlier, when I had shattered his chain-arm, his _real_ arm had disappeared too. I made this guy lose his arm. He's evil, so I feel slightly good, but still pretty terrible. It's one to kill, and it's one to hack off an arm.

Fletcher stepped through the room first, and Gautier prodded me in front of him. This room we were in was a pristine white, with a golden table in the center. There was a _huge_ silver gargoyle statue at the far corner, with a golden bowl by its feet. Colette was standing by the statue, dressed in a silver gown. Neva was nearby, and she was in a gold dress that hung off of her loosely, trailing behind her like a huge wedding dress train. She had a veil made of black lace. She pointed fiercely to a few chairs off to the side, and Fletcher and I reluctantly sat in them.

Gautier had disappeared for a moment, but returned back, dressed in his own black robes. There was a black basin right by the golden table, too. Colette, Gautier, and Neva gathered around the golden table and reached into their robes. They each produced a small canister of purple powder. They sprinkled it around the table, and it instantly began smoking. The smoke smelled sweet and relaxing, and it wafted around the room lazily. A trail engulfed the statue and the eyes of the silver statue lit up a glowing green. The door suddenly opened loudly and a Sand Man brought in a tired looking girl. She looked a lot like Skulduggery did with the drugs, so I assume they drugged her too. She was dressed in a white colored dress.

Gautier suddenly tore the dress from her body, so she was completely naked. Fletcher and I gasped in shock. Colette applied two streaks of silver to the woman's face, and she stepped back to the statue. Gautier went to stand by the black bowl. Neva pushed the woman onto the golden table and she situated her so she was lying down.

Neva reached into her robes, and she pulled out a long and sharp dagger.

Faaantastic.

Neva drew the dagger closer to the woman's chest, and she quickly and gracefully made a circle-shaped incision in the center, below the collarbones. The woman on the table moaned in pain. Neva made another mark diagonally left, then diagonally right, and then below the left breast, and then the last cut below the right breast.

Guess what shape it made!

A _pentagon_!

(Remember how the gargoyles would fly around in a pentagon shape? I'd bet my life on the fact that it has something to do with this.)

Alright, so, the points in the pentagon began spewing blood, and then the blood changed color. The blood from top-most hole turned gold, the diagonal left turned black, the diagonal right turned silver, the bottom left turned green, and then the bottom right turned purple. Oooh, pattern in the colors everyone! Suddenly, Neva reached into the top hole _with her hand_ and dug around, causing the girl to scream in pain incredibly high. She pulled her hand back out and produced a heart.

No. Joke.

Neva bowed her head and breathed deeply, slowly placing the heart into the golden bowl. Gautier swooped in with his black bowl and gave a wave of his hand, and all the blood flew up and pooled into the bowl. It sloshed around as he and Neva approached the silver bowl by the gargoyle and Colette. Colette began chanting in a strange language while Gautier and Neva gingerly poured the blood and heart into the silver bowl.

The statue's eyes changed from the five different colors over and over again. The woman suddenly convulsed violently for a few minutes, but she suddenly exploded into a pile of dust. Neva went to grab her remains and place them in the golden bowl. She dumped the ashes with the blood, and the mixture slowly coiled upwards to the body of the gargoyle. It covered the whole stone body and soaked into it.

And that was it.

The Nottinghams removed their robes and folded them delicately and placed them on a small white table in the corner. Colette and Gautier marched out of the room, while Neva grabbed Fletcher and I and dragged us back to the cell. Skulduggery still had my shirt when we got back, but he had moved so he was sitting up against the wall. His head had fallen forward, so his chin was resting on his chest. Fletcher and I willingly sat down in the cell.

"You're next," Neva said quietly, giving a sharp glare to Fletcher. He recoiled slightly, and she walked away, satisfied.

Skulduggery mumbled something as I slid down the wall to sit next to him. I gripped his head and examined the back, and it looked alright. It wasn't bleeding anymore, at least. I rested his head on my shoulder and beckoned to Fletcher.

"Don't worry," I whispered to him as he scooted up to me on my other side, "you won't turn into a pile of dust."

He laughed once and grasped my hand tightly. His head fell onto my other shoulder, and I rested my own head on Skulduggery's. He tensed slightly in his sleep, but relaxed after a minute.

And you know, Diary, I felt like we were a family. Granted, a really stupid one, but a good one at that. I had my crazy brother (Fletcher) and the guy that I'm secretly in love with (Skulduggery, duh).

That next day was when the crap hits the fan.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Oh, I'm getting so excited for my ending. Some of you are going to be pretty pissed at me for what happens laaater :33

Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :D


	21. Entry 21

We're close to the end, everyone…Just a few more entries now…

* * *

**Entry #21: Written July 29th**

Dear Diary,

So, getting straight to the crap hitting the fan, we begin!

I left off with the fact Fletcher, Skulduggery, and I were leaning up against each other, and it was only slightly adorable. I'm not sure how long we were all asleep, but I was suddenly jolted awake by a sharp slap to the leg.

I thought it was somebody evil or whatever, so I jumped up, pushing Fletcher and Skulduggery away, and a large hand caught the fist I was using to punch whoever woke me.

"Mademoiselle Cain!" Monsieur Spar shouted in annoyance.

Well, I felt pretty stupid. At this point, Fletcher had woken up from me knocking him down, and he had jumped up too. His fists were raised, but I stopped him before he made a fool of himself.

"It's a good thing that the Nottinghams didn't move locations, no?" Madame Gabs wondered lightly, swinging a jug of alcohol around and around.

"Come on; hurry up," a voice from the cell door said. "We don't have much time left. They're going to figure out we're back again."

"Hey there, Monsieur Rhett," I said cheerfully, bending down to Skulduggery, since he still hadn't gotten up. I shook him and shook him, but he wouldn't wake.

"Can we just pour alcohol down his throat?" Madame Gabs grumbled angrily, stepping closer to him.

"That would be absolutely terrible for him and for us, so I don't think that's the best idea," Fletcher replied. "The drugs he's on are really effective and can really screw him up if mixed with alcohol."

She huffed and stepped out of the cell moodily. "Well we have to leave him here-"

"NO!"

"For _now_," she continued. "We can go and get him afterwards. But I hear someone coming, and this won't be pretty."

She shoved the jug of alcohol into Monsieur Rhett's invisible hands, and she charged off.

"Madame!" Monsieur Spar cried out desperately. "**Wait for me!**"

"**No, just go on!**" she shouted back, her footsteps fading. A moment later, there was an anguished cry and running footsteps.

Monsieur Spar growled and reached down to Skulduggery. He peered at his face, then gripped his torso and hoisted him up. Monsieur Spar propped him against the cage wall, trying to make him comfortable enough. Monsieur Spar quickly marched out of the cell, waiting for Fletcher and I to get out.

"We don't have much time," Monsieur Rhett reiterated. "We _have_ to leave him, Valkyrie," he said quietly, coming into view next to me.

Fletcher placed his hand on my shoulder. "We'll let you kill whoever did this to him, okay?"

I groaned and eventually turned away. Monsieur Rhett half closed the cage door. Skulduggery flinched, curling around the shirt I had used to clean him up. There were distant and rather angry sounding footsteps coming from above, so Fletcher pulled me forward, and we all took off running. The hall we were running down ended abruptly when we came face to face with 8 or so Sand Men that had magically jumped down through the wall. The four of us immediately began attacking and kicking and punching. Monsieur Rhett had doused about five in alcohol, and the remaining few knew they were in trouble. They were about to run off, but all of a sudden, Tanith and Ghastly fell from the ceiling. They landed somewhat un-gracefully on the few Sand Men, and Tanith knocked them out while Monsieur Rhett poured alcohol on them.

"Valkyrie!" Tanith shouted joyously. "Thank _God_!" She threw her arms around my neck, chocking me just a bit. I waved to Ghastly, who was brushing Fletcher, since he kept getting sprayed with sand.

"Where's Skulduggery?" Ghastly asked calmly, though he had a slightly panicked look on his face.

"OUT TO YOUR NORTH," a voice shouted from Monsieur Rhett. He held the ear piece that was wedged into his…ear and nodded.

"We've got trouble!"

"Make it double!" Fletcher began, but everyone just shook their heads.

"In better circumstances, that would have been awesome," Tanith said sadly. She watched as Monsieur Spar and Ghastly tore off in one direction to clear the way. Monsieur Rhett had given them the jug of alcohol. Fletcher, Monsieur Rhett, Tanith, and I stumbled off in a different direction from a bunch of footsteps. We passed down a narrow hallway, and Fletcher abruptly stopped at some stairs.

"Going up?" he asked, slightly out of breath. Monsieur Rhett nodded and crept up the rickety old stairs, completely invisible. We all emerged into another passageway with a small door, and Tanith went first, with her sword ready to attack. She twisted the handle and stepped into the room where we were immediately met with volleys of bullets.

After three seconds, I pushed everyone out of the way and cast a thick wall of shadows around us. It was incredibly dark in my little ball of shadows, but we could still hear. I could hear a steady drip coming from my left, and I sensed it was Tanith from the heavy breathing.

"Are you hurt?" I asked her quietly.

Everyone shuffled around, checking themselves for injuries.

"I'm hit," Tanith stated. "In the arm, so it's nothing too bad."

We all moved around again. Monsieur Rhett placed a hand on my shoulder and slunk past me, avoiding Fletcher and the small puddle of Tanith's blood.

"We need to take out those guns," he quietly said. "If I covered you, could you, Valkyrie, break them with your necromancy?"

"Fletcher and I can cover, too," Tanith added.

I shrugged. "I can try. How do I get rid them? What should I do to them?"

"Bend the barrels, so they can't fire or anything."

I nodded and shook out my limbs. "Okay, that sounds complicated enough. Ready everyone?"

My shadow wall dissipated rapidly, and everyone fanned out.

Monsieur Rhett instantly disappeared from sight, but I watched a Sand Men cry out in pain as an arm curled around his neck and yanked him backwards. I shot out a tendril and grabbed the gun, twisting it and cracked it everywhere. A few bullets kept being shot, narrowly missing Fletcher and Tanith, as well as me. One grazed my arm. Tanith gave a sharp slice to a Sand Man's arm, but it grew back almost instantly, but as it was growing back, I slunk a shadow up his body and destroyed his gun. He looked up in astonishment, but Fletcher bashed his head in with the remaining guns parts. Tanith had already taken out the other guy, and she tossed the gun towards me, and I disassembled it.

Monsieur Rhett approached me. "That was a terrible plan, wasn't it?"

"Not the best," I said. "At least it worked."

"This way?" Fletcher asked a few minutes later, after we had dumped all of the Sand Men together in a pile. We completely obliterated the guns, just for good measure. Everyone shrugged, but we all took off in a sprint anyway.

Suddenly, a huge explosion and shriek ripped through the air.

Stones shook and fell around us. Walls from different rooms were collapsing everywhere, shaking the whole place again. We all stumbled around and fell against each other.

"Oh God," I moaned, "Skulduggery!" I began off in the way we came, but Monsieur Rhett stopped me.

"We don't have enough time to get him!" he said desperately. "I know you're worried about him, but he'll get out of there just fine. And you're hurt, and you could get hurt just as easily as him down there! The structure of this place is incredibly unstable! Look around us!"

I paused to gaze at the stones and rubble surrounding our feet.

"I have to go find him," I whispered. "I swear I'll be back as fast as I can. As soon as I know where to get to him, I'll find you guys again. I can look after myself."

"But you're hu-"

"I'm _fine_!" I growled and tore away from the three of them, jumping over piles of stones. I was probably running and jumping for twenty minutes before I made it to the same door we emerged from. I ripped it open and was engulfed in darkness. I heard marching footsteps pass by me, so I flattened myself against the wall. I stepped away from the broken and disturbed wall. I kept walking for a little bit, but I suddenly slammed into a Sand Man.

He growled loudly and gripped my torso and hoisted me into the air.

"Don't tell me you're the guy who almost killed me from before!" I shouted in disbelief. "Fancy seeing you here!"

He growled and was about to say something, but he lowered me so I could stand, and then held a knife up to my throat.

"I'm going to kill you, unlike before," he mumbled lowly in my ear.

My mind was reeling, thinking about how stupid I was for doing this and trying to save Skulduggery.

I thought that the guy was going to kill me right there, but he suddenly groaned and moaned in pain. He dropped the knife to the ground and fell backwards, shaking the ground a little. A tired cough rose from the silence.

"SKULDUGGERY!" I screamed throwing my arms around the limp looking figure in front of me. "You're alright!"

"I'm alive at least," he mumbled, leaning up against me. "Where did you all go?"

"The Sanctuary came to get us," I replied, leading him back up the hallway and to the stairs. "We were all above this level when something exploded and shook the whole place. Can you walk?"

"Did you come back to get me?" he asked tiredly, though I could hear the playful tone in his voice.

"Yes, I did," I mumbled. "Now we have to get going. Ghastly and Monsieur Spar went off in a different direction than us, so it's just Tanith, Fletcher, Monsieur Rhett, and I now. Madame Gabs was with us, but she ran off almost instantly to get rid of some Sand Men. Are you sure you can walk?"

"Calm down, Valkyrie," Skulduggery whispered as he slumped against the wall. "My muscles are just weak. I can walk, but don't expect me to do somersaults."

"Alright, alright." I gripped his arm and slung it around my neck and pulled him up. We took shaky steps, and it took a long time to get to the stairs. Luckily, though, we didn't run into anyone on our way there. The rooms and hallways that we had gone through previously were deserted. Not even the Sand Men bodies were there anymore.

Skulduggery seemed to be gaining his strength back, though. He wasn't leaning as heavily on me anymore, and his steps were more confident, and his legs didn't shake when he moved them.

"Do you smell it?" he asked in the silence in a dark corridor.

"The blood?" I asked after a moment of sniffing the air.

"I don't think we're all going to make it out of here alive."

I almost berated him for saying something like that, but there was a part of me that thought he was telling the truth

But anyway, Skulduggery let go of me and began walking quicker. He was strong enough to walk on his own finally. He stopped at a beautifully carved doorway, and there was rubble surrounding the door it was in front of. He huffed and crossed his arms, thinking about what to do, but I stepped forward and cast a blanket of blackness over the pile, and the stones broke into tiny little pieces. He snapped his palm against the air and the little rocks went flying to the sides in different directions, clearing a path for us.

"Now wasn't that easy?" I said happily, approaching the door, and holding a shadow in my hand, I turned the knob and entered the room. Skulduggery followed suit, with a flame glowing brightly in his palm.

The second we stepped into the room, a thick mist of smoke surrounded us. We could hear people coughing all around us and moans of pain as well. Others were shouting in French, and suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the entire room. Skulduggery and I fell over each other, and though we were in a _really_ awkward position, we didn't care. Skulduggery pushed me off and he tried pushing away the smoke, but it wouldn't move. It was like it was suspended in the air.

But then, out of the blue, something stabbed through my back. It hit me in the lower back, and I could instantly feel the blood spurting out.

I was flung forwards by the impact, and I screamed in pain.

"Valkyrie!" a few voices called out.

Whatever stabbed me was pulled out of my body, and I collapsed. Two slimy hands gripped my upper arms and hoisted me up. Something sharp pressed into my left arm, and I hissed in pain.

"An arm for an arm," Gautier whispered menacingly, and the knife he was holding began pressing harder and harder into my flesh.

There was suddenly a large high-pitched roar, followed by a shriek. Another huge explosion echoed around the room. The knife fell from my arm, and the slimy hands that belonged to Colette peeled off of me. The smoke around us suddenly lifted up and disappeared, and I could finally see everything.

Neva was mercilessly attacking Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar. I turned and watched as Tanith chased Colette around the room. Colette was covering more ground my elongating her legs and taking huge leaps with them, but I could tell that Tanith had already formulated a plan. She backed away and sprinted up the walls easily, while Colette remained oblivious to what had just happened. Her eyes caught me, and she smiled evilly. She was about to attack me, but Tanith had jumped from the ceiling and had landed smack down on her. Colette flopped down on the stone floor, bleeding from various places.

I turned and watched as Skulduggery got smacked in the face by Gautier's chain arm. He was flung backwards, his strength still not to its fullest. His face was gushing blood. I growled and charged towards him, giving a huge kick to his back. His remaining chain arm flailed around, smacking himself in the back. That's when I noticed the _huge_ spiky ball placed on the end of the chain. It was covered in blood, and little bits of flesh.

"That _really_ hurt, you know," I grumbled, coiling a shadow around his ribcage, squeezing a little.

He choked and tried saying something, so I tightened my grip on him.

And then an arrow went shooting through my leg.

I cried out in pain, and I fell all over the place. Gautier jumped up, and he wrapped his chain around _my_ torso this time.

"This will hurt more," he said lowly, about to swing his chain around, but he was suddenly stabbed through the chest with a sword. His eyes went to the size of dinner plates, and his face squinted in pain. He whispered something in a crazy language before he completely exploded and tons of tons of sand went spewing everywhere.

Neva screamed high and she rammed an arrow through Madame Gabs's arm. A few daggers were sticking out of her in various places, while bruises and cuts dotted along her old face.

"HOW?" she shouted. Everyone looked up to the person who killed Gautier.

We all expected it to be Tanith, since she was the only person who had a sword here.

And it wasn't Tanith.

It was Monsieur Rhett, covered in sand, sweat, and blood. His hair was matted, stuck up in strange angles, and dripping with blood. His face was tired.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD," Neva called out to the room. "My pet was meant to kill you!"

"I killed Monsieur Snuggles first," he merely said.

"How the he-" Neva began, but she was cut off by a huge explosion again. She fumed and prepared a bow and arrow. She aimed at Monsieur Rhett, but then suddenly pointed at me. I had gotten up at this point, and she shot the arrow, aiming straight for my chest.

You know, in all those super dramatic parts in movies or whatever, there's always epic music and slow-mo going on.

It's a shame that real life doesn't act like that.

See, Monsieur Rhett jumped right in front of the arrow, and it penetrated his chest deeply. He staggered back, clutching his chest, blood leaking out and forming a puddle on the floor.

Immediately, everyone else still standing gave a bum-rush. The doors burst open and Ghastly and Fletcher sprinted through. Ghastly chucked a small little ball at Colette. She screamed in terror as it collided with her outstretched arm and blew it up. Her arm shriveled into a pile of sand, and she cried and cried in pain.

Tanith and Fletcher grabbed the teenager and kept her grounded. Skulduggery tossed them some handcuffs and chased after Neva, along with Madame Gabs, Monsieur Spar, and Ghastly.

I, meanwhile, stayed with Monsieur Rhett.

I knelt down next to him, brushing dust and sand away from his face.

"Why did you do that, you idiot?"

"I said I'd take the bullet for you, remember?" he weakly said, smiling up at me, remembering the conversation we had on our date:

"_Yeah, but I haven't explained what's going on or why I'm here. They call it my 'business,' and I feel so terrible for jetting off and leaving them back at home with no way of knowing if I'm alright. Of course, Tanith or someone would go and break the news, but I can't stand the thought of that."_

"Well then I'll go ahead and take the bullet for you, alright?" Alaire said and smiled lightly.

I shook my head and rested my hand on his shoulder. Madame Gabs strolled a bit later, and she made a beeline for Monsieur Rhett.

"How are you, Alaire?" she asked quietly.

He tried shrugging. "I could be better."

"We should get you back to the Sanctuary," she said.

"I want to see Doctor Jacques," he meekly replied. "He can help us all, unlike the Sanctuary doctor who hates me."

Madame Gabs was about to deny him, but the look in his tired eyes made her nod her head. "We need to get out of here as fast as possible," she shouted. "Monsieur Spar, call the drill here. And put it on maximum."

I'd normally make a dirty joke about the previous dialogue, but the circumstances kind of sucked, so I figured I shouldn't and wouldn't.

Alright, I'll skip this next part, since it's just us getting to Doctor Jacques's place. He graciously took everyone in without hesitating at all. He seemed a little alarmed at our injuries, and we explained what happened, so he understood. He fixed up my back really fast, and then disappeared into the room with Monsieur Rhett.

Doctor Jacques made me sit in a chair while I healed, and Skulduggery sat beside me. He was totally fine, since the second he had stepped back onto land, his skin and everything melted away.

But, Diary, I'm sure you're wondering what happened with Colette and Neva.

Well, Colette was taken back to the Sanctuary. We were told that she'd be dealt with after everyone's injuries were all fixed up. But, Neva, however, got away.

The men had chased her for as long as possible, but they just suddenly lost sight of her. Sanctuary agents have searched the whole underground headquarters, looking for a sign of where she'd have gone, but she left nothing behind.

But anyway, back to this. I fell asleep after a while, and I was awoken a bit later by Skulduggery.

"Doctor Jacques says he's in a critical condition," he mumbled sadly. "He's breathing well and is alert, but he doesn't seem to be getting any better."

I frowned and sat up from the chair I was in. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It looks like he doesn't want to live, actually."

"How ridiculous!" I shouted, jumping up. "What idiot dies just _because_? If he's got the ability to get better why the hell won't he? What's going through his stupid head? How can-"

"Shh," Skulduggery said, pressing a finger to my lips. "Everyone is still asleep."

"Oh who cares?" I muttered angrily. "Is Aya here? I want to yell at her for her stupid brother."

Skulduggery shook his head. "She says she can't come here," he said. "Something about finishing up a project."

I fumed. "What sibling won't even visit their dying brother? How can someone be _that_ heartless?"

Skulduggery shrugged and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Give me that key thing to the Sanctuary," I demanded. "I'm going to go see Aya and ask why the hell she can't freaking get out of that stupid Sanctuary."

Skulduggery reluctantly handed the key card to me. "How are you going to get there?"

"I'll teleport," I growled, and engulfed myself with shadows. Usually I don't travel that way, since it drains my energy for a few hours, but the situation called for it.

I arrived outside of the Sanctuary and got through the security fast enough. I passed through the wall and entered the grand main room. I immediately veered off down a hallway and hesitated when I passed by Monsieur Rhett's office. There wasn't piano music playing and that made me sad.

I stopped abruptly at Aya's office. I swung open the large door and stepped around the wires and gadgets that littered the floor.

I could hear someone crying softly.

One of the big computers was shut off, but still gave off a faint whirring sound. I saw Aya's wheelchair, but she wasn't in it. As I approached the chair, the crying suddenly stopped.

I knelt down in front of the chair and reached out and patted Aya's invisible leg.

"You and your brother have the same power?" I whispered.

Aya materialized in front of me, her face red and puffy from tears. She nodded. "Oui, we do. He's able to use his for better ways, though."

"Speaking of which," I said, "why the heck won't you go out and see your brother?"

Aya hesitated and scratched her neck. "It's not because I need to finish up something, if that's what you're wondering about. It's something way more complicated. Alaire understands why I can't be there with him. He knows that I'll…"

"You'll what? I want to know why you can't go see your own twin brother who's dying as we speak. Tell me. I'll keep it a secret if you want. Are you afraid-"

"YES!" she screamed suddenly. "I'm afraid! I'm afraid of the world. I'm afraid of being up there. I'm…I…I'm agoraphobic."

"Agora-what?"

"It means I'm afraid of going outside. I haven't been out of this Sanctuary since my accident that made crippled thirteen years ago."

"What happened then?"

"Alaire and I were chasing these villains, and I had one cornered, and we were so close to catching the two, but the other one drove up and hit me before I could react. It was just…too traumatic. I'm afraid of cars and won't get in one. I'm afraid of going out there again and getting injured further. I used to be powerful and strong and beautiful. But now I'm just stuck in this godforsaken chair. Do you know how hard it is to adjust to this stupid thing after walking for sixty years? I kept trying to get up, but my legs wouldn't work. Alaire's helped me through my life; he's helped me with the chair, and my phobia, and all the emotional problems I've had over the years."

"Well then, wouldn't you want to be the person who's saved and helped you? Wouldn't you want to be holding his hand when he…dies?"

"Of course!" Aya sighed, exasperated. "But I…I can't do that."

"You know you could if you really wanted to," I muttered.

She huffed sadly, and wheeled her chair around. "Can you just go, _s'il vous plait_? Can you please just tell Alaire that I love him?"

I almost nodded my head, but I gasped at a thought. "No," I said. "You'll have to tell him. I'm not a messenger, and it'd mean so much more coming from you. He'd be _so_ proud of you for getting out of here."

"You don't know what he'd think," she whispered. "Just go, now."

I shrugged and got up and left. I shut the door and ran from the stupid place. I ran out of the catacombs and just kept running and running. I ran all the way back to Doctor Jacques's place. Since it was about two in the morning, everyone was asleep and crowded in one room. The only person who was up was Skulduggery, but he looked like he was about to fall asleep. He was sitting on a pillow in the corner of the room, and I went to join him. I wordlessly sat down next to him, and his arms mechanically gripped my shoulders and nestled me against him. My head rested on his shoulder, and his skull rested on my own head.

And we fell asleep like that.

We were awoken by someone gently shaking us both. Skulduggery woke up almost instantaneously, and whoever was shaking us got up and left. Skulduggery eased himself away from me, but his arms wrapped around my waist and knees, and he lifted me up effortlessly.

"What are you doing?" I asked tiredly.

"Moving you from the cold and uncomfortable floor," he replied quietly.

"Well thank you," I said, curling into his ribcage, "but why?"

"Because the comfy beg that Fletcher the Hog took over is free. And you look and sound tired. And someone keeps shouting in French outside. That woke up Tanith, who then woke us up in spite."

"Wait…What?"

"Nothing, just go to sleep, Valkyrie," Skulduggery whispered, easing me onto the bed.

"Don't go," I murmured.

"You want me to stay with you?" he whispered in my ear. I wordlessly nodded and the bed dipped where he sat down lightly. I pulled him over to me harshly, and he laughed in response. I snuggled up (ha, sap, again) into his chest and breathed in his nice, antique-y scent. He chuckled lowly and stroked my hair softly, lulling me to sleep.

I was woken up _again_ a few hours later by someone repeatedly shouting in French.

"**Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!**" they were shouting. I sat up slowly, and Skulduggery supported me, so I wouldn't fall over or whatever.

I almost screamed at the sight before me.

"Where is he? Where's Alaire?" Aya Robin growled at me. Her eyes were wild, and her face had a determined look on it. Her hands clenched the armrests on her wheelchair. She looked like she was about to explode from the tension she was feeling.

"What are you-"

"Just shut up and tell me where he is!" she shouted, interrupting me. "I finally made it out of that place after three hours of coaxing from my therapist, and I'm not going to get to my brother just as he dies. I'm going to sit there with him until his heart stops beating. Now, where is he?"

I got up from the bed quickly, and pushed Aya's chair out of the room and down the hallway. She knocked on the door we stopped in front of, and Doctor Jacques shouted "Come in" in French. We entered the room, and Aya immediately broke away from me and wheeled herself next to her brother. She reached out to pat his hand, and he smiled weakly and could automatically tell who it was.

And that's where I'll leave you off, Diary. I'll say that it looks like that now Monsieur Rhett has a better chance, but Doctor Jacques says that there's no guarantee that he'll ever recover.

But at least he'd be alive.

~Valkyrie

* * *

WOAH THIS IS LONG.

And you guys BETTER love me. I've got finals all next week (well, minus Monday), BUT I still managed to get this done this weekend. I'm been working like mad all this weekend to get studying. And ALSO, my STUPID science teacher assigned a project that requires a HUGE poster and an oral presentation!

SO BURN.

But luckily, I've got the next chapter already written (it's _been_ written for months), so I don't have to worry about writing! Except for the fanfiction contest on the SP page on Facebook. Has anyone sent in anything? I can't think of a good idea D:

Anyways, thanks for reading and sorry for mistakes (I was too lazy to proofread XD) ! :DD


	22. Entry 22

**Entry #22: Written August 1****st**

Dear Diary,

Doctor Jacques suddenly pronounced Alaire Rhett dead today, at 8:02 AM. He died peacefully, happily, and Doctor Jacques said it couldn't have been lovelier surroundings. He passed with his twin sister beside him, having been placed on the bed by Skulduggery. She laid next to him, holding his hand, rubbing his arm, smoothing his hair, anything.

Alaire Rhett died with a smile on his face, right after hearing a memorable story of his and Aya's parents. Aya said he took a deep breath, muttered something unintelligible, and then he didn't move again.

He died blissfully, and yet, I can't help but feel it was my fault. He jumped in front of the arrow that really was intended for me…So I cry for him. This is all I am able to write.

~Valkyrie


	23. Entry 23

**Entry #23: Written August 7****th**

Dear Diary,

I don't feel like starting off with any type of happy note, so I'm just going to tell about the terrible day I had. This day tops when I first met Fletcher.

There are rare occasions when I cry in front of someone, and I can only recall twice when I cried in front of Skulduggery. This day, however, I didn't care at all. Alaire's death still had hit me hard, and Aya had told me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't take it. Today, I was curled up in the chair in the study Gordon used to use when he'd come here, and I had a huge wad of tissues in my hand. A few of Gordon's books were scattered near me, begging me to read them, but I knew I'd end up soaking the pages from my tears. I wiped my eyes slightly. There was a knock at the door, and before I could tell whoever it was to go away, Skulduggery pushed open the door and sighed sympathetically.

"Oh, Valkyrie," he said quietly, coming around to the side of the chair by the desk I was at. I avoided looking at him, so he grabbed my chin and pulled it to him.

"Get off," I said weakly and slapped his hand away. "Get off and go away."

"Come on, Val," he said. "Don't be like that. I didn't know him that well, but I don't think that Monsieur Rhett would want you to be like this."

I let out a quiet sob and instantly felt myself being pulled off the chair. Skulduggery placed me in his lap like a child. He took the tissues from my hands and pulled some more out of the box on the desk and wiped my eyes gently.

"Valkyrie, promise me that you'll get over this eventually. It's so terrible when you're like this. I _hate_ it."

I shrugged and sniffed. "No telling when though. I just can't…I can't fathom that he's dead."

Skulduggery nodded. "As long as you'll be you at some point. No one is happy, and it'll all take us a while to get over it, but you must promise me you won't do something stupid and reckless when I'm not around. That tends to happen a lot."

I sighed and tried to get up, but Skulduggery held me closer. "Just sit for a while," he said in my ear, sending chills up my spine. "I want you to know that it's not your fault this happened."

I cuddled (oh geez, I seriously just said that) up closer to him, but stopped suddenly. "What did you just say? When did I say that is wasn't my fault?"

ANYONE KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING?

"It's…" He paused, and released his hold on me. "It's not your fault that you're so upset."

"That is _not_ what you said."

"I meant that, though."

"Doubt it. What did you say?"

He sighed and gripped my chin in his hands. "It's not your fault that he died."

And that is when it hit me. It hit me like a thousand bags of bricks. It hit me like the sidewalk below the Eiffel Tower would have if the Nottinghams hadn't caught me.

It hit me, and I couldn't believe it had.

I slapped away his hand. I stood up slowly, keeping a harsh gaze on him. Skulduggery staggered up, a pleading look in his eye sockets, if that was possible.

"You…" I couldn't think of what to say. This was the only thing that came out. "You…How dare you…" My brain worked wildly, trying to come up with a good enough come back to throw at the traitor.

I may not always be incredibly smart, and we've all been known to shoot some pretty stupid remarks and scenarios out, but I was able to work out what had happened.

"I-I didn't know what it was…" Skulduggery stammered quietly. "I didn't know that…you even had one. I found it, and now that you're so depressed, I just wanted to make sure you weren't thinking…bad things about your…life. I didn't know you had one…"

"Yeah, that was the point," I growled.

"Can you just be calm about this? Maybe it's the already over-hyped emotions-"

"You probably know all about them!" I shouted and cut him off. "Since you freaking read my _diary_!"

Glad I actually said it. Phew.

"Valkyrie, _please_. Can I just explain myself for a minute?"

"No." I crossed my arms and glared at him, grabbed my tissue box, then marched out of the study. I passed by China, who grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"What's going on?"

"Skulduggery's being a dick, that's what's going on," I replied and yanked myself from her grasp. China stared at me, then turned to Skulduggery and tilted her head.

"What did you do?" she asked him.

Skulduggery looked at me, then at her, and then at the floor. "Nothing," he mumbled.

"NOTHING?" I shouted, whirling around to stare down at him. "You think that was _nothing_? For God's sake, what in your opinion would be doing something mean and/or terrible? _Clearly _this doesn't count for anything at all! Were you playing a game? See how much you can eff up my relationship with you? You've been doing well so far you insensitive prick!" I fumed at him, threw the tissue box at his skull, and I ran. I jumped down the stairs a few steps at a time, pushing Fletcher out of my way and ran from the house.

I don't know how long I ran, but I do know that I ran at least four miles. There was something inside of me that just didn't want me to stop running, and I only returned back to the villa after a few hours.

The very last person I wanted to see was sitting on the front steps. No matter which way I went, he'd hear or see me. I tried thinking of a strategy to get around him, but I just gave up and stalked up to the front door.

Skulduggery looked up at me when I approached. He stood up frantically and ran over to me. He began to say something, but something suddenly took over me, and I punched him. He stumbled back from the force of my blow, and I thought he was going to retaliate, but instead he just stood there, clutching his jaw bone.

"I'm sorry," he merely said.

"What?" I snapped. "Do you think that's going to fix everything?"

"No," he said, "I just wanted to say that as a start."

"That doesn't even count as a start. That's just you being a coward because you don't want to admit what you did was terrible and wrong."

"Valkyrie Cain, what I did was terrible and wrong."

I glared and snarled and pushed past him and threw open the front door. Before I could it though, Skulduggery had slunk through, still holding his jaw.

"What's happening?" Tanith asked, coming from the kitchen, eating a cupcake she made out of boredom.

China suddenly appeared next to her and whispered something into her ear. A look of terrified realization glossed over Tanith's face, and she swallowed the rest of her cupcake and bypassed me and gripped Skulduggery's jacket. He shouted in shock as he dragged up the steps. We all heard a door slam a few seconds later, and silence settled around the house.

China disappeared again, and I stared blankly at the wall as Fletcher gingerly patted my shoulder as he passed me. Everyone cleared out of the first floor, and doors above slammed at different times.

I headed for the kitchen, and I instantly began getting out all the stuff to make bread with.

Why bread, you ask Diary?

Because whenever I'm made at Skulduggery, I make regular bread. When it's Fletcher, it's banana bread. Don't ask why, it just happens that way.

Anyway, after hours of just blindly throwing the ingredients together, I looked up to see Skulduggery creeping into the kitchen.

"Hello there," he began.

I didn't say anything.

"Making bread, I see."

I still didn't say anything.

"Valkyrie, please talk to me."

"Why don't you just read my diary, so you can see what I'm _thinking_ right now?" I grumbled, ripping some dough up and hurling it at him. He avoided it, and we both watched it slam into the wall and stay there.

"I wouldn't do that…"

"What made you do it before, huh?"

"I didn't know what it was."

"So," I murmured, kneading the dough with everything in me, "seeing the words 'Dear Diary' at the top of the pages gave no indication that it was a _diary_?"

"I didn't ever see them…And by the time I realized what it was, I had already read some…"

"Are you blind?" I shrieked. "Or are you just really stupid?" I ripped off another piece of dough and threw it incredibly hard at him. It hit his suit coat and remained there. He yanked it off gently and set it on the counter. I still didn't stop my kneading.

"Don't over knead it now," he whispered.

"Shut up," I groaned.

"What can I do to make it better?" he finally muttered tiredly. "How am I supposed to make you forgive me?"

"By shutting up and leaving me alone!" I screamed, tearing open a drawer and picking up a sharp knife. I chucked it at Skulduggery, but it just hit the wall and lodged itself in there. Dang, I missed.

"Why are you overreacting like this?" he pleaded angrily.

"Overreacting?" I scoffed. "You read my _diary_. You read it while I was off, chained to a wall. Maybe I wouldn't be as mad if it was under slightly normal-er circumstances, but the fact that you went rooting through my stuff hurts. I really did trust you, you know."

"I wasn't rooting through your stuff! You left it on the floor, and I went to pick it up! And don't you remember how you said you'd never leave me, no matter what?" he suddenly said. "And we were going to be together forever? What happened to that?"

"It's your fault," I merely said. "You screwed up."

I stopped my kneading and went up to the wall with the knife. I yanked it out of the wall, and threw it in the sink.

"Will you just leave, for God's sake?" I grumbled angrily, turning back to the bread.

Skulduggery shook his head. "Can I please just give you my reasons for doing this?"

"You can talk," I replied, "but no guarantees that I'll listen."

"As long as you won't throw a knife at me, then," he said.

"Valkyrie, you know that I don't want to screw up our relationship," he continued. "I was never sure of your feelings entirely before I read your, uh, _diary_, since I could never tell if we were flirting or just playfully arguing. But when I found out about everything you've…felt over the time here, I thought that maybe we could do something about that."

He paused, like he wanted me to say something, but I never did.

"Anyway," he said, "the reason I cornered you on July 19th was because…well I'm actually not sure. But I had figured, that since you had felt _that_ way for so long, that you would go along with it."

I snorted.

"It was a logical thought."

"Yeah, if I was an easy girl that'd make sense, Skulduggery," I mumbled. He sighed. It seemed like he was about to say something else, but he just turned around sadly and marched up the stairs. I could hear angry and flustered whispers coming from the stairs, but no one came down or anything.

Just as well, though.

Diary, the thing I feel the worst about is that during Skulduggery's little speech about how he thought he could seduce me since I had loved him for so long, is that he didn't say he felt the same for me.

That's what hurts the most, actually.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Does anyone hear that?

Oh, that's just my big, warm heart beating. See, from your reviews, I figured I could post this equally depressing chapter tonight. Yes, it's early, but I figured I could be nice and update again, since I had this one done too. But I really just wanted to post the previous chapter by itself. I dunno why, I just did.

Anyway...

Hey, **Basic-Bookworm **and **Cernunnos Cain**. Remember when you said in your reviews that it would be awesome if Skulduggery had read Valkyrie's diary? And then I replied to you two, saying that that would have been a really great idea, and I hadn't thought of it?

I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIED :DDDDDD

Well, I hope you don't hate me for this XD I do hope you liked it though, and thanks for reading! Sorry for mistakes! :D


	24. Entry 24

One more chapter…

* * *

**Entry #24: Written August 15th**

Dear Diary,

Today was it.

It was our last day in Paris.

It was also Monsieur Rhett's funeral.

Diary, I almost threw you out the window. I was tempted to just never write in you again. And (a terrible part of me thought of this) I thought that Skulduggery would just waltz in and pick you up and read you again. I've been avoiding him like the plague. He's been sleeping in China's room for the past days, and he doesn't really come out that much. Maybe he died.

Nah, that'd be too good.

I haven't really been doing much, either. Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar showed up randomly a few days ago, asking how we were and everything. They didn't seem too happy, so we're all on the same boat. I asked how Aya was, and they said she's just sitting, locked up in her office. She hasn't come out in days. Her actual living space is attached to her office, so she can go eat and everything, but still. It doesn't sound healthy.

Madame Gabs informed us quickly that our flight back home to Ireland would be the day of Monsieur Rhett's funeral, which was today. They said that we should definitely come to the funeral to pay our respects and such. I knew that I wanted to go, but we didn't have anything good to wear. So when Ghastly quickly jumped at the invitation and agreed to it, Fletcher and I just stared at him. When Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar left, we rounded on Ghastly.

"We don't have anything to wear!" I said, exasperated.

"Well," Ghastly responded, "a motto of mine is to never go anywhere abroad without a black suit – or a black dress in your case. It's come in handy more times than I count. You never know when you'll be sneaking into a black tie event, searching for an evil mage."

"Oh, yeah, right," Fletcher snorted, "that happens loads of time."

"Who came?" Skulduggery asked, suddenly striding into the kitchen. He and I froze, but then Fletcher broke the tense and awkward silence with, "Your mom did."

Silence.

I leaned over and gave Fletcher a quiet high-five. Ghastly sighed tiredly, face-palming. Skulduggery glared at Fletcher, then turned to Ghastly.

"Really, who did come?"

"Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar," Ghastly said. "The funeral for Monsieur Rhett is on the 15th, and so is our flight back home."

"Did anyone bring nice black clothes to wear?" Skulduggery asked.

"Ghastly apparently raided our closets and got some type of fancy-shmancy black thing for each of us."

"Seriously," I said, "Ghastly, go drink a beer and cut down a tree or do _something_ manly!"

He laughed and patted my shoulder. "I'll go look for everything I packed and tell Tanith and China about the funeral."

"I should probably start packing for the flight back," said Fletcher, easing himself up. He hesitated a moment when he passed Skulduggery. His eyes darted to mine, but I just stared at the floor. I listened as Fletcher left, and Skulduggery shifted around uncomfortably.

"So…" he mumbled.

"There's no point in small talk, Pleasant," I said. You know I'm pissed when I use his last name.

"Oh, no last name usage, please. China won't stop calling me that. It's infuriating."

I gave a small laugh and got up too. Skulduggery gripped my hand suddenly as I strolled past him. "I really am sorry," he merely stated.

I exhaled deeply and just stared into his eye sockets.

He grunted and let me go. I shrugged slightly, then turned and jogged up the stairs to my room. Tanith was there, holding up two black dresses.

One dress was floor length, and it flowed around softly. There was a skinny gray belt right below the breasts, and the flowing fabric bunched up at the belt a little. It was strapless.

The other dress went down to the knees, and wasn't as flowing and free as the other dress. It had thin straps, with a sash and a bow tied around the waist. There was a small layer of navy blue embellishment at the hem line at the top, and the light caught it, making it sparkle gloriously.

"The long one is mine," Tanith said when she noticed me, "but do you want it?"

I shook my head. "No, you take your dress." She handed me the shorter dress and placed her dress on the bed.

"How have you been holding up?" she asked. "China told me about the, uh, _incident_. I came _this_ close to kicking his bony ass."

"Well I threw a knife at his face, so it's okay."

"But still! Breach of personal space!"

I shrugged. "It happens, I suppose. Everyone fights with everyone."

"But this is…This is a huge fight!"

I shrugged again and picked up my dress for the funeral. "Yeah, but...Look, I have no idea what to do, Tanith. We'll be civilized for the funeral and the flight back home, but once we get back…I don't know how we'll be. I may just disappear for a while. Or I may break off all contact with him. Or I may forgive him."

Tanith nodded and sighed and got up and placed a hand on my shoulder. She gave me a lop-sided smiled and hugged me tightly.

"You'll be alright," she said quietly then slipped out of the room.

Okay, fast forward. It's the funeral. At around 10 in the morning we were all gathered in the kitchen, just sitting around, finishing breakfast. Ghastly, Fletcher, and Skulduggery were dressed in sharp black suits. Ghastly's undershirt was navy blue; Fletcher's was gray; and Skulduggery's was white.

China's black dress was knee-length, like mine. It had black lace at the bottom, and it was all lacy on the straps holding it up. It was form-fitting, but not inappropriate or anything. Her lips were cherry red, and her hair was done up in an elegant bun.

Tanith let her hair remain wavy, and it spilled all down her back. She had a simple pearl necklace on her neck (no duh) and had clipped a little flower in her hair to keep the shorter pieces from getting into her eyes.

China had forced me to put little crystal flowers in my dark hair, and she tied it all up in a ponytail for a while, and then let it all out. My hair was slightly less wavy as Tanith's, and didn't go down as far.

We were all also in high-heels.

China wears them, like, everyday.

I think I've only worn them twice. Tanith tripped twice on the stairs, and she fell in the hallway three times already. I've tripped four times, and fallen twice.

Fletcher caught me heroically once, and then promptly began reciting butchered Shakespeare lines from _Romeo and Juliet_.

Ghastly managed to get us out of the house quickly, and without injury, and Skulduggery took the wheel in the bigger car. It probably took an hour and a half to get to where we needed to be for the funeral, and when we _finally_ got there, we all sort of gasped.

A quiet cemetery was situated a way off from a small, narrow, dirty road. The weather was just sunny enough with just enough clouds to make it a somber day. Everyone piled out of the car, and we stalked up little hills along a rock pathway. The grass was soft and green and pretty. We passed a tree that had an eerie looking tire swing hanging from one of the branches. The tree groaned from the weight of the rubber tire.

The path curved suddenly, and we were greeted by a lone daisy on the ground.

"Bonjour!" Monsieur Spar said from afar, noticing us. He waved us over solemnly. Everyone trudged up the grass and joined him.

"Good morning," he said. "How are you all?"

We all shrugged, but Tanith said, "Just a little depressed."

He nodded and gave a sweeping of his hand to the gathering of people in black. It was like a swarm of birds. Through the mass I saw them part. A figure in a scarlet colored dress pushed through the pathway. Madame Gabs had curled her short hair so it hung around her glasses. She was still wearing her gray, fringe boots.

"Merci for coming today," she muttered. "Half of these people aren't magical; I don't know how to deal with them. I heard that your parents, Mademoiselle Cain, aren't magical. How do you do that? How is everyone today? Are we well? You look dressed up. Sorry about the keeping the disguise on, Monsieur Pleasant. We-"

"Rochelle," Monsieur Spar said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "We should get started soon. No telling how long this will take and everything."

"R-Right…Okay, yeah, right…" Madame Gabs allowed Monsieur Spar to lead her over to the mass of people. Tanith shrugged and took the lead and followed them.

And then I heard someone yelling at someone else in French.

"**Hey, hey! Calm down, Christine!**"

"**I will not calm down! He won't move to let our Irish friends through.**"

"**Did you ask him nicely?**"

"**Oh shut up, Jules!**"

The group parted to let Aya Robin wheel herself through. A gray-haired man followed her angrily.

"Glad you're here," she mumbled to us. "I'm seriously considering leaving."

"You're brother wouldn't like it if you left," said the man wisely. "Please relax, and we'll get your friends situated nicely." His gaze lifted to us. "Bonjour, I've heard your Irish. I'm Jules Dupont. I'm Christine's therapist. It's pretty remarkable she made it outside again and in such a short time!" He gave her a small pat on the back.

We introduced ourselves, and Aya led us through the clearing and past the whole group. A few people looked angry, but Tanith just glared right back at them, which was enough to make them stare at their feet. Aya stopped right at the opened coffin.

Immediately a few tears escaped my eyes.

I'll probably soak the pages of you, Diary, if I describe what Monsieur Rhett looked like in his coffin, but I'll just say he looked like he was sleeping. He looked so peaceful…

Anyway, Aya wheeled herself to the side of the coffin and began to speak.

"Bonjour all. Merci for being here today, August 15th," she began solemnly. "Felix Leroux was a caring guy. He helped me through my unfortunate car accident through my growing paranoia of the outside world. Thanks to the convincing words of a friend, I'm here today, outside, before you all." Her teary eyes glanced up to mine. "My brother Felix was killed, sad to say. We haven't found his murderer, and I'll make it my job to find his killer.

"Felix was rarely selfish, and when he was, it was because he didn't want someone else to touch his piano or for someone to get hurt. Ever since my accident, he became protective, like a guardian for me. He made sure I was comfortable in my home, where I stayed for years. Felix would come into my room every night to make sure I was situated and relaxed.

"Many people who know me and who work with me know that I'm not a very loving person. I'm not the nicest, and I tend to shout and yell at people for the simplest of things. Felix never got mad at me for shouting at him. He would nod when I said he had done something wrong and would correct it. He was, pretty much, the best brother one could hope for.

"I'm sad to see him gone so fast and so young."

There was a silence that settled over everything awkwardly, but Aya just backed herself up, and Madame Gabs stepped forward.

"I worked with Felix Leroux for only a few years. We didn't get off on the right foot, since he believed that I shouldn't be in with his line of work. But the days and months went on. We grew closer together after a day where we had to go find someone who hadn't _paid their debts_. We helped each other, and we respected each other from then on."

Her voice began to quiver.

"And many of us were there when he was killed, but no one saw his killer, or saw them get away. Earlier I thought that we could have stopped his untimely death, but as I've recently been informed, he chose to jump in front of the murder weapon and save a friend. Felix showed true hero-like qualities then, and he'll continue to show them, even as he has passed from this world to the mysterious other side."

Madame Gabs patted the dark wood casket and staggered away, Monsieur Spar keeping her steady. When she turned back around, she had a few tear streaks down her cheeks, as did Monsieur Spar. I looked over through my watering eyes and saw China and Mr. Bliss standing together, who had arrived earlier. Ghastly and Tanith were standing together, his muscular arm wrapped around her own. Doctor Jacques stood a way off, his head bent low. He wiped his face delicately with a handkerchief. Fletcher was standing extremely close to Lythia.

Skulduggery remained alone, and something was edging in me to go over there and hold his hand or something. His arms were crossed across his tan coat, and he remained perfectly still.

It was almost exactly like when I first met him at Gordon's funeral.

Sheesh, that was a long time ago.

Well anyway, an elderly priest got up there and began talking about Monsieur Rhett more and preaching and such. It was a beautiful ceremony, and a few sobs were heard as the casket was lowered six feet under. Everyone took turns throwing a handful of dirt into the deep whole. Aya threw her handful in last and muttered something under her breath.

And so, everyone left there, and drove back the hour and half, and arrived at a small, tranquil hall. Bouquets of orchids decorated the halls and navy blue carpeting had been rolled out.

So, this little after-funeral party thing lasted for about three hours. We mingled with a few people, but mostly just stood there in a corner. Our flight was at eight at night, and it took about an hour to get to the airport. We all piled into the car, but not before Monsieur Spar, Madame Gabs, and Aya came up to us.

"Merci for being here, again," Monsieur Spar, shaking all of our hands. "It meant a lot to Mademoiselle Robin. She's…a character, non?"

Tanith laughed and nodded. "We'll miss you all, be assured," she said suddenly. "Write to the Irish or British Sanctuaries if you ever need help again, or if you just want to keep us updated."

"I'll talk with the Grand Mage about setting up a search party for Neva," Skulduggery added. "We'll get her, so tell Aya not to worry."

"I'm not worrying!" she called out from a while off. She sighed angrily and wheeled herself closer to us. She gave us each a hard glare, then smiled lightly. "Merci for everything," she said. "It's been an interesting time of my life, I admit. I'm sad to see you all go, but we'll definitely keep you updated on everything."

She shook all of our hands one by one. Her smile grew wider as she shook my hand. Aya nodded once, and I could tell it was in gratitude.

"Does your Sanctuary have _any_ type of computer?" she suddenly asked.

China nodded. "It's so very old, and I think everyone is afraid of it. I'll get my brother to turn it on every once in a while."

Aya nodded slowly, her eyes rolling around, staring at the sky. "Alright, I'll get in contact with you if we hear any news easily then," she mumbled, counting something off of her fingers.

"Leave the work back at the Sanctuary, please, Aya," Madame Gabs joked.

Aya laughed. "Oh, this wouldn't be _work_; it'd be too easy."

Madame Gabs leaned up against her wheelchair and smiled at us all. "We'll miss you," she said, and it sounded genuine. "It's been an adventure, to say the least. Come back and visit us sometime. We'd love to have you here again, yet on some sort of vacation, and not on business that involves terrifyingly large gargoyles."

"Or better yet," Fletcher said cheerfully, "you could come to Ireland!"

Madame Gabs bit her lip and nodded slowly. "We could manage that, right, Carel?"

Monsieur Spar nodded shortly from beside her.

Aya sighed. "Okay, you guys…should probably leave soon. Don't want to miss your flight, right?"

"WAIT!" someone suddenly shouted. We all turned and watched as Lythia and Doctor Jacques came charging at us. Doctor Jacques stopped right in front of Skulduggery, and he thrust a small package into his hands. He began mumbling in French to him.

"What's he saying?" I leaned in to ask Aya.

She shrugged. "I can't hear him."

"Secrets, secrets are no fun unless they're shared with everyone!" Tanith sung happily, bouncing around Skulduggery. I expected Fletcher to join in, but he had meandered off a few ways and was talking quietly with Lythia.

"Oui," Doctor Jacques suddenly said loudly. He threw his arms around Skulduggery and gave him a bear-hug.

Doctor Jacques hugged each of us in turn, and then Lythia came over and kissed us all lightly on the cheeks. Oh, those Europeans.

Okay, so finally, we all piled into the car. Skulduggery fired up the engine, and we took off slowly. Tanith and I hung out of the windows, waving goodbye to the five still standing.

We turned the corner, and we lost sight of them.

I remember, Diary, how I said that I really hated Madame Gabs when I first met her. She was a brat, pretty much.

But now…I…I'm really going to miss them all.

Alright, I feel the tears welling up in my eyes, so I'm just going to hurry up here.

We got back to the villa, and everyone rushed inside to change into more comfortable clothes. I rushed into my room and yanked off my dress, took all the flowers out of my hair, and wiped off my make-up. I threw on jeans and my protective coat. As I dragged a brush through my hair, Gordon materialized next to my bag.

"I can't believe you're throwing me in there again," he grumbled.

"I can't believe you came here and barely came out of your stone," I snapped.

"Oh, excuse me, princess. You didn't seem to need me that much."

I stuck my tongue out at him in the mirror reflection, and he glared at me and disappeared.

Once I was completely dressed, I grabbed my bag and rushed out of the room. China and Skulduggery were waiting around in the entryway.

"That was a beautiful funeral, don't you think?" China said casually.

I nodded. "It was nice and simple, yeah."

China's eyes glazed over my face, and she began staring at Skulduggery.

He began to squirm under her gaze. "Stop, China, please," he grumbled.

"Why won't you tell me what was in that little rattling box that Doctor Jacques gave you? I won't tell a soul."

"Because," he said, waving the box that he had been given around, "it's personal stuff."

"What _personal stuff_ could you possibly need? You're a skeleton for goodness sake."

I chuckled. China smirked in my direction, and Skulduggery just pulled his hat down lower. After a few more minutes, everyone came trudging down the stairs. We all headed outside, and climbed into China's car, since we took it here.

"Waaaait," I said, "where's the Bentley?"

"The people who brought her here took her back to Ireland," Skulduggery replied hesitantly. "I already miss her."

Ghastly laughed quietly.

So, for the rest of the hour-long trip, no one said anything. We pulled into the airport, and after everyone had gotten out of the car, China reached forward and touched an invisible symbol on the car. The car instantly disappeared.

We all stared.

"Security reasons," she said happily.

I'll spare you the boring and gory details of the airport, Diary. We got on the plane without alarm, and I didn't even hyperventilate or anything. I was in the middle of a three-seat thing, with Tanith in the aisle, and China at the window. Skulduggery had the window, Ghastly the middle, and Fletcher was in the aisle again in the other three-seat-er.

The flight wasn't too unbearably long, which was good. We made it off the plane slowly, and everyone shuffled over to the Bentley, which was miraculously parked in the exact same place as before. Ghastly and Tanith took to Ghastly's van, and they drove off. They offered me a ride, but I declined. Fletcher was too tired to sit and ride, so he just teleported home.

China, Skulduggery, and I rode in the Bentley. Though Gordon's wasn't exactly the first and easiest house to get to, Skulduggery still stopped there first. I jumped out and went to grab my bags, but Skulduggery's gloved hand stopped mine and he hoisted my bag up and carried it to the front door.

"China's faking a call to Mr. Bliss because she still wants me to apologize, even though I keep telling her it'll do nothing to help this," Skulduggery mumbled as I opened the front door.

"Why is she so determined to, uh, fix this?" I asked as I flipped on the light. I beckoned Skulduggery in, and he hesitantly entered.

He froze up at my question, and seemed to think about an answer for a while. "She, uh, she just wants you, uh, happy."

I rose an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged. "Alright," he said, "I'm lying, but I can't tell you the real answer."

I sighed and reached for my bag. Skulduggery awkwardly handed it to me, and he stood there a moment, just staring at me.

"I'll…call you if there's a case…or something," he mumbled and quickly turned and left.

I sighed sadly as I watched him shut the front door and as I heard the Bentley drive away smoothly.

Diary, I don't know what to do.

Help me, please.

~Valkyrie

* * *

Okay.

2 things.

1. Toy Story 3 is the greatest movie ever made.

2. I'm now on the Skulduggery forums, known as **Nerdy_Skeleton**. Friend me or something!

So thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes! :D


	25. Entry 25

OH GOD IT'S THE END.

I'll put my huge THANK YOU GUYS at the end, so yeah.

Aaand from reading your simply lovely and hilarious reviews, I'll say that some of you are right in guessing what will happen. I won't say who though. That's more fun :D

**THE ZILLIONTH EDIT: Aperio** pointed out a MAJOR FAIL on my part, so I fixed it. Yeeep.

* * *

**Entry #25: Written August 19th**

Dear Diary,

(Technically, this all happened on August 18th, but it's around eleven in the morning on the 19th. So…just pretend like it's the 18th. I'll let you know when it changes to the 19th. Yeeep.)

This morning I was like: D:

This evening I was like: :\

And now I'm like: :DDDDD

Care to know why, Diary?

OF COURSE YOU DO.

So, beginning with this morning.

I woke up, naturally. I showered, stumbled downstairs sleepily, and then paused. I realized the last time I had showered and stumbled downstairs sleepily was before we left for France. Yep.

I grabbed by coffee, and a random magazine that was on the table, and I just sat there and read.

Diary, you don't know how lonely I've been these past couple days. Tanith came over for a few hours, and we watched a weird movie about romance or whatever, which just made things weird. And yeah, I hadn't had contact with Skulduggery since he dropped me off here.

Though I still hated him a bit, I missed him.

I was probably down stairs for a while when my home phone rang, and I noticed it was my parents calling.

"Hello?"

"Stephanie!" Mom responded. "We haven't heard from you in so long!"

…Oh, crap.

"Ah, yeah, things got really crazy over-"

"We called once, and one of your friends picked up the phone, and they said they didn't know where you were!"

"Well like in the house-"

"THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE," Mom shouted. "You had your father and I so worried for you! What has been happening to you? You better not have half-died or something!"

"Mom, mom, mom!" I said firmly. "Relax, and let me explain, please."

Mom took a deep breath, but she remained quiet. I was about to begin my story of everything that had happened, but Dad suddenly hopped onto another phone, and we started the yelling process again. Mom explained everything we had _just_ been through, so Dad let me talk.

I don't know how long I spent on the phone with them, but I told them EVERYTHING that had happened on our trip. Well, minus Skulduggery and I fighting, and Monsieur Rhett's death. But I explained my multiple kidnappings with Fletcher, and the Nottinghams powers, and really, _everything_.

When I had finished the story, Mom whimpered a little.

"Alright," Dad mumbled, "so you're back now, and the business you were sent to France hasn't been entirely taken care of?"

"Pretty much," I said, shrugging. "But our French counterparts are working on it; they know what they're doing."

"Alright then," Mom said. "How are all of your friends? Did they make it out okay?"

"More or less," I replied.

"How's Skulduggery?" Dad suddenly asked.

"Aaah, he's fine, I suppose."

"Have you talked with him lately? Because I'm not sure if you remember, but I wanted to see the two of you over for dinner."

OH CRAP I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

"Uh, Mom, Skulduggery doesn't eat," I said, trying to convince them to _not_ do this.

"Would he mind just coming over then? If he's uncomfortable with it, then alright then. But your father and I would love it if he came along, too."

I scratched my head and checked the time. It was around two in the afternoon.

"When would we come over?"

"Do you have anything going on tonight? Because tonight would be absolutely perfect."

"I don't have anything, but I don't know about him. I can go and…find him."

"Please!" Mom said. "Call us back when you hear from him!"

And she just _hung up_.

Gee, awesome.

But anyway, I quickly changed into my protective clothing and made sure I looked rather presentable. I climbed into my oldie Ford Mustang. I purred the engine to life, and I set off towards, really, the only logical place I could think of where Skulduggery would be.

(Why didn't I call his cell phone, Diary? Frankly, I forgot about it. I was panicked, so there is my excuse. HA.)

I parked on the curb next to China's old tenement building, and lo and behold, the Bentley was parked there too. At least I had the right place. I climbed the stairs of the old building and pushed open the door to China's library. I nodded politely at a few mages who I sort-of-kind-of knew, and began searched the whole library for China and/or Skulduggery. I figured that where one was, the other wasn't far behind.

I wandered around a bit, checking in all the corners, until I suddenly heard China's voice.

"Well if you would just _tell_ her, we wouldn't be in this problem, would we?" she muttered, and judging by the sounds, shelving a few books.

"She won't listen, China!" Skulduggery responded. "I would, but if I even try talking to her, she just glares and doesn't say anything."

"What about when we got back that night? From my position she didn't look hostile. You seemed to be in a rather nice conversation."

"You were watching?"

"Naturally!" China replied, putting a book on a low shelf delicately. "You yourself knew that I was faking a call. Of course I was watching."

Skulduggery sighed but didn't say anything else. China sighed as well, stepping around the corner and coming face to face with me.

"Oh, hello, Valkyrie," she said loud enough for Skulduggery to hear. There was a loud _thump_ sound. Skulduggery appeared from behind the shelf, scrambling to readjust a huge book in his arms.

"What can I help you with?" China asked sweetly.

"I actually just need to talk to Skulduggery," I said.

She nodded and pried the book from Skulduggery's hands. I led Skulduggery towards the back of the library. We stopped when we came to a corner wall.

"Did you, by any chance, hear our conversation?" he began.

To lie, or to say that I had heard…

"Skulduggery, you watch me through windows, so don't go yelling at China for creeping on us."

"Damn," he growled, leaning lazily against the wall.

"I am also not hostile."

"Have you looked in a mirror when you're beating someone up?"

"That's _totally_ different, so shush."

"Okay, fine."

Silence.

"So," Skulduggery finally said, "what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, right." I took a deep breath. "My parents want you and I over at their house tonight."

"Why?"

"They want to meet you or whatever. They said this before we left for Paris, but I never got around to telling you. I almost lied and said that you couldn't come."

"Well what are they expecting of me? I'm a skeleton; I can't very well eat anything."

"I said that, but they just said we should still just _go_ over there."

Skulduggery shrugged and rubbed his spinal chord. "I'm alright with it, I suppose."

I nodded and turned to leave, but Skulduggery grabbed my arm. "When though?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I need to call them back."

"Well there we are then," he said. "Call them and ask."

"I don't have my phone," I snapped. Skulduggery silently reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his own phone. He held it out expectantly to me, and I grabbed it and dialed my parent's number.

It was a short conversation, and it involved my mom exclaiming happily about how we were going over there. So, when I ended the call, we had decided that 7 at night would be good, since it "after dinnertime," and then Skulduggery wouldn't feel "awkward" about it.

Skulduggery nodded when I handed him his phone back. "I'll, uh, pick you up at 6:30?"

"I guess," I said with a shrug.

Awkward silence.

"Right, so, I have to go and yell at China," Skulduggery mumbled. "So I'll, um, see you later."

He kind of held out his hand awkwardly, like he was going to wave or shake my hand. He finally sighed and gave a tip of his hat and then wandered off through the maze of shelves.

I remained in the corner of the library for a few more minutes, silently kicking myself.

I could already tell that that night was going to be terribly awkward and terrible.

So, Diary, care to know how the night actually went?

OF COURSE YOU DO.

Fast forward to 6:30.

RIGHT.

There were a few delicate knocks on the front door of Gordon's, but then the door just opened.

"I forgot I have a key," Skulduggery announced when he stepped into the house.

I chuckled lightly and quickly checked myself in the mirror.

"You look…different," Skulduggery said.

"Different how?"

"Just different."

I rose an eyebrow at him through the mirror. He just shrugged and beckoned me out to the Bentley.

(Diary, you must be wondering what the eff is up with us. I was wondering it too at this point.)

We got to my parents house quick enough and without _too_ much awkwardness in the car. I was about to ring the doorbell, but Skulduggery stopped me.

"What should I call you?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Whichever name; it doesn't matter."

He nodded and let go of my hand. I rang the doorbell, and we waited in silence for a few minutes. Dad answered the door, and he beamed when he saw us. He wrapped me into a hug, and then shook Skulduggery's hand hesitantly. He dragged us into the kitchen where Mom was washing a few dishes. She immediately dropped what she was doing and hugged us both.

"Do you, er, want to take off your…?" Mom trailed off as she motioned to Skulduggery. He grunted and began removing his disguise. When he had removed everything, and his skull was visible, my parents made a terribly large effort to not gasp.

"At least they didn't faint," I muttered as Mom placed his disguise on the front table in the hallway.

I'm not really going to describe tonight. It was a really long night, and I was glad to be done with it.

But I'll say that, Diary, the way both Skulduggery and I acted, it was like the past weeks where I would rather rip his skull off than spend a minute with him had just disappeared. We settled into a rhythm where I'd poke fun at him, and then he'd retort with something strange I said in Paris.

It was so strange, Diary.

I think I found myself forgiving him, Diary.

Do you think I should?

Because, frankly, I don't know what to think about him anymore.

So, when we left my parents, we climbed into the car sluggishly and just sat there for a few minutes.

"That was so weird to do," Skulduggery mumbled, his hand covering his face.

"I've never forced a smile so many times," I said. "But I think we were able to convince them that nothing terrible had happened."

Skulduggery started up the Bentley. He pulled away from the curb and said, "Yeah, but something terrible _has_ happened."

"Right, but I certainly don't want to tell them that someone who was working with us _died_. And that we weren't on the best of terms."

Skulduggery chuckled but didn't say anything. He drove smoothly along the winding roads back to Gordon's. He parked the Bentley on the curb by Gordon's, and Skulduggery, being the gentleman that he is, walked me up to the front door. Before I opened the door, I took a deep breath and faced him.

"So…thanks for doing this tonight," I said. "And thanks for not being awkward about my parents."

He shrugged. "It was the least I could do, really. Valkyrie, I really am so-"

I held up my hand and stopped him. "I know you're sorry," I whispered. "And while that's a nice gesture, it doesn't make things better."

WHAT AM I SAYING OH MY GOD.

Skulduggery sighed sadly and nodded. "I suppose you're right, though I have the urge to yell at you right now. Seeing that I am a gentleman, however, I won't."

He gave another tip of his hat and turned sharply and got into the Bentley. He revved the engine and sped off. I silently fumed and thrust open the front door.

Nothing happened for the next few hours. I ate, showered, and then read one of Gordon's books. Exciting, no? (Gordon thought so. He started reading over my shoulder. It got _so_ annoying.)

I checked the clock then, and it read 12:49 AM. I growled at it and put the book down. I got up from the comfy chair I was in and headed to my bedroom. And pretty much the SECOND before I passed out all over my bed, there came a frantic knocking at my window. I grimaced and got up and stood at the window. Skulduggery was there, full disguise on and everything. He was silently pleading for me to open the window, and I did so out of the goodness of my heart. He climbed into my room gracefully and quietly. I do believe he was a cat in another life.

The first thing he said to me was, "They found her."

"Who? Who's 'they'? And who's 'her'?"

"The French Sanctuary found Neva Nottingham."

I stood, frozen and speechless. "Like, seriously?"

"_Seriously_."

"What are they going to do with her?"

Skulduggery shrugged. "I'm not sure. I only found out because I was creeping around the Sanctuary just now. Someone came by me as I was poking at the computer, and they told me they just found a message written in a little box that said, 'Madame Gabs and Monsieur Spar have found Neva Nottingham – Aya.'"

"So, Aya hacked into the Sanctuary's ancient computer and just wrote that message?"

"That's what it seems like, yeah."

"Wow," I mumbled stupidly.

"Agreed."

Silence.

"So…" I said. "Is that all you had to say?"

He hesitated, stuttered a bit, and then just froze up.

"Are you, by any chance, having a seizure?"

"No I'm not having a seizure," he said, irritated. "Why would I be seizing?"

"You're being a big spaz," I said.

"Well…I have other things to tell you, but I don't know how to say them. And yeah."

"You could just blatantly say what you-"

"Valkyrie I'm sorry for everything I did. And I love you."

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"W-What?" I managed to mutter.

"Don't make me say it again," he said dejectedly.

"I heard what you said," I replied, "but it was just so…so…"

"Unexpected? Stupid? Bold?"

"I'm going to go with unexpected, actually."

"Alright, that's okay."

I stared at him for a few minutes. He stared back. I grunted and stumbled backwards and fell onto my bed. I closed my eyes and put my hand to my face. I could hear fabric rustling, and I figured it was Skulduggery taking off his disguise. The bed dipped a little where Skulduggery sat

"Say something please," he whispered

"Something," I snapped.

"Not funny!" he growled and stood up. I sat up on my bed and opened by eyes.

And then I screamed.

Want to know why, Diary?

OF COURSE YOU DO.

Standing right in front of me, looking sheepish and down at the ground, was a man.

Not just any man.

A clean-shaven, hard-eyed, tired-looking man.

Skulduggery Pleasant with light skin, shining green eyes, and ruffled black hair.

"Oh my God…" I whispered, standing up and approaching him. I poked at his face and pulled at his hair lightly. He kept staring into my eyes.

"A certain French doctor figured out how to get me my skin back from studying the regenerating technology the Nottinghams had," he mumbled. "I asked him how, but he just launched into this super complicated talk about cells and DNA; I couldn't follow it at all. He gave me that box with little pills in it. _This_ lasts for 24 hours."

"Oh my God…" I said again, peering into his eyes.

"Will you please say something else than that?"

"Something else than that," I murmured.

Skulduggery stuttered and flailed a bit, his eyes widening in annoyance. He turned, and I thought he was going to leave, but he suddenly turned back and gripped my shoulders and kissed me full-force. I squealed momentarily at the shock but recovered quickly and let Skulduggery do his thing.

When he realized I wasn't pulling away from him, Skulduggery released his firm grip on my shoulders and slid his hands down to my waist. He pulled me in tight as I threw my arms around his neck and angled my face to kiss him deeper. He responded by opening his mouth a little and tracing his tongue along my lower lip. I hesitated a second, but my uncertainty made him pull back from me.

"I'm s-sorry," he stuttered quietly. He pulled his hands away from my waist and tried escaping, but I grabbed his face and kissed him again. He gave a muffled shout of surprise at my eagerness but didn't back away. After a few moments, I felt his tongue out again and opened my mouth a little, allowing entrance. His tongue eagerly joined mine in my mouth, and we then had a battle of dominance, ending only when I shoved off Skulduggery's thick trench coat, and there was a loud _thump_ sound.

I pulled away abruptly and asked, "What was that?"

Skulduggery didn't answer at first; he was catching his breath. I bent down to his coat and rummaged through the pockets. I reached one pocket and pulled out a small, little book.

"Ah, that," he mumbled, going over to flop down on my bed. I held the beaten up book in my hand, just staring at it.

"Go ahead," he said, "open it."

I did so, read the first thing at the top of the first page, and I screamed again.

Want to know why, Diary?

OF COURSE YOU DO.

This is what the first page said:

**Entry #1 **

**May 28th**

Diary,

Let's get a few things straight.

1. I don't know why I bought you. Valkyrie received a diary for no reason really, and I just got this overwhelming urge to buy one myself.

2. I'm rather, ahem, infatuated with Valkyrie Cain at the moment. I don't exactly know what makes me so drawn to her, but I'm going to go with the fact that she's incredibly gorgeous, but scary as hell.

And that's it. I'll probably barely right in you. Probably just to…say something interesting. Though I doubt whatever happens will be completely uninteresting.

-Skulduggery

* * *

(I'll put a line after all these…entries and when the day changes, Diary. Just a heads up.)

"It seems we think alike," Skulduggery said, hoisting himself up so he was sitting on my bed.

"You literally have one, too?" I asked, disbelief in my voice.

He shrugged. "It's looking that way, right? Keep reading; I've got better stuff later on."

I stared at the little book but went to sit down next to Skulduggery. He took the diary from my hands and furiously flipped through the pages, finding a specific entry. He didn't seem to have too much written. What he had written mostly was just a few little lines about what had happened. It seemed like he didn't have any time to go through a diary and write in it much.

He handed the book back to me. I stared down at the page. It said:

**Entry #17**

**Written July 7****th**

Diary,

Sweet Mother of God. Mercy. Holy Baby Jesus. Oh my Jeezums. I think I'm about to go into a shock induced coma.

"…I, Valkyrie Cain, am rather hopelessly in love with Skulduggery Pleasant."

The personal diary of a one Valkyrie Cain is in my possession. God knows where she is and what's happening to her. She could be half-dead, and I'm sitting at her uncle's villa, reading her own personal diary. I have turned into a terribly rotten man.

-Skulduggery

* * *

"You _are_ a terrible rotten man, that's true at least," I mumbled grumpily, staring at the quote that he had written down from my diary. "Things would have been so much easier if you had just _told_ me about how you found my diary. I wouldn't be so mad at you."

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked quietly. I sharply took in a breath and faced him. He was looking out the window, not facing me. I put the diary down and looked at his face. He kept trying to turn away from me.

"I'm confused with you," I said.

"How so?"

"Because we're like hormonal teenagers! One minute we're flirting, then fighting the next minute! We're all over each other like just now, and now you won't even look at me."

I stood up and fumed and stood in front of him. He tried getting up, but I gripped his face and forced him to look at me.

"Skulduggery Pleasant, what the hell do you want from me?" I asked lowly.

"I-I don't know," he stated.

"Well I had thought that that kiss was a pretty clear signal, but apparently not," I growled.

"I want you to not hate me," he whispered.

I whimpered and got down on my knees, so my arms were resting on his thighs. He frowned down at me but didn't try moving or anything.

"I don't hate you," I said. "I'm just annoyed at your stupid-ness. I know that you're smart enough to know what you want from someone, and I know that you know that I don't hate you anymore."

He paused, processing what I just said. "But Valkyrie, you just confuse me so badly."

"And you just randomly kissing me isn't curious or confusing?"

"I…Well…"

"See? We're both confused with each other," I grumbled. "Heck, I'm even wondering about myself."

Skulduggery chuckled once, staring at the ground. "China knows," he suddenly said.

"Knows what?"

"Knows how I feel…about you."

"Ah!" I stood up in triumph. "So that's why she's so obsessed with us and you and everything! I always thought she was just creeping! And that you two had some weird romantic relationship!"

He laughed again. "No, completely the opposite really."

I sighed in relief. Thank goodness. "Skulduggery," I said, staring up at him seriously, "how come you never told me you had the same feelings for me?"

"You'd have known that I had read your Diary," he replied.

"But if you had just stated clearly that you had feelings for me, then I could say that I did too, and then we would have been happy!"

He shrugged and said, "I don't know why I act the way I do, alright? It's just…I'm a complicated guy."

"I noticed," I snapped and sat next to him again on my bed. "So…Uh, where does this leave us? See, I'm tired and would like to go to bed and not tha-"

I was cut off when Skulduggery swooped down and kissed me. He leaned down against me, forcing me back. I ended up lying flat on my back with Skulduggery hovering above me.

"Where do you want to leave this?" he whispered.

"On a happy note at least."

He laughed and kissed me again. "Like you said, I think that all this is a pretty clear signal of what I want to happen. How about you?" he added, kissing my neck after every few words.

I squirmed underneath Skulduggery, keeping my mouth shut and trying not to moan. CURSE HIM.

"So basically," I mumbled breathlessly, "we've declared our undying love to each other through lame diaries, both want the exact same thing, which is…?"

"Some type of relationship?"

"What, like you'd be my boyfriend and I your girlfriend?"

He gave a small shrug and sighed, "Something like that, yes."

I nodded in satisfaction a minute later, and then leaned up to kiss him again. I felt him grin big. We continued to remain in this position after a while, but Skulduggery muttered that he had to go. He began to get up from me, but I yanked him back down.

"Stay here tonight," I said, a hint of hope in my voice. He smiled and sank back onto the bed. I curled around him, and we just sat there and talked. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, but I do know that cookies were involved at some point. We fell asleep after a while, but I woke up again after a few hours.

I untangled myself from Skulduggery without waking him up. (He snores, and it's really cute…Oh my, I just said that, didn't I?) I rolled away from him stealthily, and I ended up rolling all over his diary. I pulled it from under my back and stared at it. I shot Skulduggery a quick look, and I cracked open his diary.

I flipped through some pages, coming to this entry:

**Entry #14**

**Written June 19th**

Diary,

I hate Alaire Rhett.

-Skulduggery

* * *

Based on the title, I assume this is when he and I went out on our date. Seeing this…makes me sad and angry at the same time.

The being sad is pretty obvious, since, uh, Monsieur Rhett is sort of _dead_.

But the angry part…God dang if Skulduggery had just told me that he had the same feelings that I had for him he wouldn't have been pissed at him and WE WOULDN'T HAVE SHOUTED AT EACH OTHER.

It's just infuriating.

I turned the pages and came across this entry:

**Entry #19**

**Written July 19th**

Diary,

I respect Valkyrie and everything she does (except for the whole necromancer thing) and want her happy.

After, ahem, _reading some very interesting literature_, I decided to take a try at being more of a creeper than I already am and cornering her and, ahem, kissing her. While it started out fantastic, I was quickly rejected. She never specifically said "No," but she was…scared, I suppose is the right word. Valkyrie didn't know what she was doing.

I didn't know what I was doing.

-Skulduggery

* * *

I suppose that literature would be my own diary. And…uh, he's pretty right about what was going on there. I didn't know what I was doing, neither did he, and I didn't know _why_ he was doing that in the first place. But this entry is the _real_ kicker:

**Entry #24**

**Written August 8th**

Diary,

Did you know that Valkyrie has I-Hate-Skulduggery Bread? It's the bread she angrily makes and angrily kneads when she's mad at me. It would very well explain why I would go to see her after having some argument about something entirely pointless, and there would be fresh bread.

And Diary Valkyrie is a domestic goddess in the kitchen. She never admits it, nor shows it, but it's plain to see she loves to cook. She doesn't do it often, but when she does, it smells amazing. I've never eaten it, which is a shame, really, but she did try and make me eat cake.

It didn't work, Diary.

Anyway, after the Incident That Ruined Everything (I'd rather not say what it was about, thank you) she left for a bit, and I took refuge upstairs, where China was lecturing me about everything. She had forced me to tell her exactly what had happened, and then she stared yelling at me! It was a few hours later, though, that everyone heard the front door open. (Yeah, everyone had crowded in China's room. I don't know why.) Tanith went down to check on Valkyrie since it was obvious it would be her coming back. Tanith returned with a grim face.

"What's wrong?" Fletcher asked, beating me.

"She's making _bread_," she whispered. Everyone sighed sadly, and Ghastly even cringed.

"What's wrong with bread?" I wondered.

Everyone sat in an uncomfortable silence, before Fletcher spoke. "Maybe you should go see for yourself," he mumbled. "Careful of your word choice, though."

I frowned and got up slowly, and crept downstairs. Valkyrie was in the kitchen.

"Hello there," I began.

She didn't say anything.

"Making bread, I see."

Nothing.

"Valkyrie, please talk to me."

"Why don't you just read my diary, so you can see what I'm _thinking_ right now?" she growled, ripping some dough away and throwing it at me. I dodged it and watched it stick to the wall.

"I wouldn't do that…"

"What made you do it before, huh?"

"I didn't know what it was."

"So," she muttered, kneading the dough so hard, it was like it killed her family and she was getting revenge, "seeing the words 'Dear Diary' at the top of the pages gave no indication that it was a _diary_?"

"I didn't ever see them…And by the time I realized what it was, I had already read some…"

"Are you blind?" she screamed (like, really screamed). "Or are you just really stupid?" She ripped off another piece of dough and threw it with everything in her at me. It hit my suit jacket and stuck there. I peeled it off and placed it on the counter. Valkyrie still didn't stop her kneading.

"Don't over knead it now," I mumbled.

"Shut up," she replied simply.

"What can I do to make it better?" I finally asked, exasperated. "How am I supposed to make you forgive me?"

"By shutting up and leaving me alone!" she screamed again, ripping open a drawer and picking up a sharp knife. She lobbed it at me, but it just hit the wall and lodged itself in there.

"Why are you overreacting like this?" I growled.

"Overreacting?" she asked incredulously. "You read my _diary_. You read it while I was off, chained to a wall. Maybe I wouldn't be as mad if it was under slightly normal-er circumstances, but the fact that you went rooting through my stuff hurts. I really did trust you, you know."

"I wasn't rooting through your stuff! You left it on the floor, and I went to pick it up! And don't you remember how you said you'd never leave me, no matter what?" I mumbled suddenly. "And we were going to be together forever? What happened to that?"

"It's your fault," she just said. "You screwed up."

She stopped her bread kneading and stormed up to the wall with the knife. She pulled it out of the wall, and she threw it in the sink.

"Will you just leave, for God's sake?" she angrily mumbled, turning back to the bread.

Skulduggery shook his head. "Can I please just give you my reasons for doing this?"

"You can talk," she said, "but no guarantees that I'll listen."

"As long as you won't throw a knife at me, then," I said.

"Valkyrie, you know that I don't want to screw up our relationship," I began. "I was never sure of your feelings entirely before I read your, uh, _diary_, since I could never tell if we were flirting or just playfully arguing. But when I found out about everything you've…felt over the time here, I thought that maybe we could do something about that."

I paused a moment, trying to think of something else to add to that, but I couldn't piece together the right words.

"Anyway," I continued, "the reason I cornered you on July 19th was because…well I'm actually not sure. But I had figured, that since you had felt _that_ way for so long, that you would go along with it."

She snorted.

"It was a logical thought."

"Yeah, if I was an easy girl that'd make sense, Skulduggery," she whispered. I sighed. I almost said something else, but I turned on my heel and trudged back up the stairs. The second I reached the top stop, China's door flew open and she stormed out of the room, and began fiercely whispering at me.

"Good job choosing the right words!" she growled.

"What?"

"It came off like you didn't care about your relationship!"

"I do care!"

"Well why the heck did you snap at her? Valkyrie's the one who's supposed to get to yell at you!"

"She threw a knife at my face!"

"You deserved it."

China glared at me a few moments, then finally grabbed my arm. "You're sleeping in my room tonight."

"Wait, why?"

"Do you _really_ think you'll get to sleep in the same room as Valkyrie? She'd kill you in your sleep."

I sighed again, and hesitantly came along with China. I could hear Valkyrie pounding the dough a few times (out of frustration, I assume).

God, Diary, I really screwed up, didn't I?

-Skulduggery

* * *

Deja vu...

What I love most about this entry is that it's _exactly_ the same as my own entry, except our wording is different, and I know what those whispers were from upstairs. And China was right: I wouldn't have let him sleep in the room as me. This next entry makes me sad:

**Entry #27**

**Written August 18th**

Diary,

Valkyrie hates me. A lot.

-Skulduggery

* * *

This was obviously written before all of today's/yesterday's events, so it's understandable, but still. Diary, throughout everything we've ever been through, I was never this mad at Skulduggery for anything else. Yeah, I was pissed when he wouldn't let me join him on some case or whatever, or when he'd make me go to _school_.

After reading this entry, I shook my head and sighed quietly. Skulduggery stirred from beside me a little, turning over, flopping his arm across where I'd be. His face contorted into a look of confusion, but he settled after a few minutes.

I smirked at a sudden thought that I had had. I gripped my pen and I flipped to a clean in Skulduggery's diary. This is what I wrote:

**Entry #28: Written August 18****th**

Dear Skulduggery's Diary,

This is Valkyrie. I don't hate Skulduggery anymore. Quite the opposite, really. We're all lovey-dovey now, so that's pretty awesome, I have to say.

I like being able to say that I'm totally in love with Skulduggery Pleasant, and him being able to say it back. (Not the being in love with Skulduggery Pleasant thing but in love with me. Though he probably would say that he loves himself.)

~Valkyrie

* * *

I put his diary down, and I crawled back to Skulduggery. I lifted up his arm, and he groaned quietly, half-waking up.

"What are you doing?" he slurred.

"Go to sleep," I murmured, smoothing his black hair out of the way. He grunted and closed his eyes again. He raised his arm and wrapped it around my waist, pulling me close. His breathing evened out a few moments later, and he was asleep. I fell asleep, smiling.

* * *

(So, here's the 19th!)

I woke up to someone screaming.

Always a good start to the day.

There was a shout of surprise, and I was suddenly being pulled down onto the ground. I landed heavily on the floor, a hand resting heavily on my knee. I groaned and sat up, resting my head on the bed. Tanith was standing at the door, her sword ready and drawn. I normally would have been mad at her for being weird and doing this, but I was waaay too tired. Skulduggery grunted angrily from beside me.

There were other shouts heard from around the house, and footsteps sounded heavily on the stairs.

"God Tanith!" Skulduggery shouted at her. Apparently she had screamed. "Is it necessary to burst into someone's room and scream?"

"And who are you to yell at me?" she responded back angrily.

"What's going on?" Fletcher asked breathlessly. He had burst into the room a few seconds after we had fallen from the bed.

"What is Valkyrie doing on the floor?" Ghastly asked quietly. "And who's…" He trailed off as he noticed the guy beside me. "Uh…Sk-"

"Yes, okay, it's me," he grumbled, standing up stiffly. "I'm Skulduggery, Tanith, don't pee yourself."

Her eyes narrowed. "How can I trust it's _you_?"

"I read Valkyrie's diary while we were at her uncle's villa in France," he stated.

"Valkyrie has a diary?" Fletcher asked loudly.

"He has one too!" Ghastly said, pointing at Skulduggery accusingly.

"What did you do to her in the middle of the night?" Tanith shouted, her sword not wavering.

"We made up, Tanith," I announced, finally standing up and leaning up against Skulduggery.

The three of them slumped their postures simultaneously. Tanith muttered a dejected "Oh."

"Did you making up magically grow you skin then?" Fletcher mused.

Skulduggery sighed and facepalmed. I chuckled beside him. He explained shortly what had happened over the course of the night (leaving out all the kissing and such). He told them that he had come to tell me that Neva Nottingham had been caught, our diary sharing, and our make up. Tanith smiled widely after finding out the whole story, and she _finally_ put away her sword.

Ghastly nodded in satisfaction at the explanation, and Fletcher just stared blankly at us.

"Does that mean you guys are…like, a couple now?" he asked. It sounded like he was completely disgusted in the idea.

I shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah."

Skulduggery nodded shortly, glaring at Fletcher as he started to say something.

"Valkyrie, he didn't hypnotize your or anything, right?" Tanith asked skeptically.

"Yes, because Skulduggery is so known for his hypnotizing skills," I replied. He laughed from beside me, slowly placing a hand around my waist.

"You never know!" Tanith shouted.

"Why do we associate ourselves with you, Tanith?" Skulduggery questioned while he and I strode from the room.

Diary, as I'm writing in you, drinking my coffee, that whole scene pretty much sums up my life. My friends are crazy, yet loveable, and I don't think life would be as awesome without Fletcher…or Skulduggery, for that matter. (He's sitting next to me, reading over my shoulder. He's laughing as he's reading this sentence.)

Though we lost Monsieur Rhett, and we're all still down about that, we're all happy. And that's just fine.

Skulduggery just laughed at my sap.

But that's just fine, too.

~Valkyrie

* * *

**EDIT: **The line, "Valkyrie I'm sorry for everything I did. And I love you," was originally written as one big word, like Skulduggery had said it really rushed. Sadly, was being a buttface and not keeping it. I don't know WHY, but it wasn't. Sooo...I fixed the sentence so it doesn't say, "ValkyrieI'". Juuuust if you reread this at any point, read it reeeally fast and rushed. Yeeep.

**CONTINUING TO BE AN EDIT BUT NOT REALLY EDITING ANYTHING: **Woooow thanks for the great and nice reviews! :D I, like, cried reading them XD

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DONE.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE.

22 pages. THIS WAS 22 PAGES.

Anyways, however, the length of this wouldn't be possible without you guys! Like, if I didn't get the OVER 200 REVIEWS (OH MY GOD THAT'S SO FANTASTIC) that I did get, this story probably wouldn't be that good. I would have probably lost interest in it. That would have been saaaad. I really thank you all for being so kind and so gracious on your thoughts and words. I'd come home from school on a Monday, and I'd be soooo happy at the reviews I'd get in my e-mail. (Did you know I did that on purpose? I upload Sunday night so then Monday afternoon I check my e-mail, and I get a bunch of reviews :3)

So just thank you all for everything. You are all such great people, and I'm glad that I'm here, writing, and getting your opinions on it. LOOOOOVE YOU ~

But getting to real business, I think I'm just going to take a small break for a little bit. Like, from all actual stories. **His and Her Broken Bones** and possible **Once Upon A Time** will get more attention because I miss them. I won't disappear, but maybe just not an update every Sunday day/night? I'm not sure right now.

But yeah.

The end.

Thank you EVERYONE for reading anything of this story and for reading this particular chapter. I apologize for any mistakes!

:DDDDDDD


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